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I can be pretty "tough" on myself at times! (I have to be!) I'm the only one here now and a lot of things "fall on me." And I run into situations where I literally have to "suck it up" and "push" myself to "face my fears!" (Or things just won't "get done!")...I have to "stay strong" and motivate myself. Nobody else is handing me "pep-talks." It's "me" talking to "myself!"...Sometimes I cut myself a little "slack" if something doesn't have to be done immediately! I know I need some "breaks" and rest and fun at times in order to "stay balanced!" But I can't "slack off" too much because I'm the "only one!"...Nobody else is going to step-in and "take over" or "rescue me!" So I can't let myself "drown" in self-pity or let my fears "hold me back!"...And I can't keep making "excuses" either or tell myself that life is "unfair" to try to get "out" of doing something because there is no one else "here" to take things out of my "hands!"...Anyway I have to be pretty "tough" on myself at times so I can "keep going!" No "rest" for the "weary" right now! Maybe down the road at some point!
Sometimes those "get over it" pep talks become an excuse to verbally abuse a person, too.
Many years ago I developed RA (rheumatoid arthritis), and got sent to physical therapy. The therapist got hateful with me, under the guise of a "get over it" attitude. there's a vast difference between recovering from a sports injury and coping with the onset of a chronic, incurable, painful disease.
Know what you're talking about before you take an attitude towards others
Marylee, that is awful. What a terrible experience.
I had a similar experience with a personal trainer. I was not training for an "Iron man triatholon", just needed some help getting started withe my exercise program.
Why the link? Sandyford Bootcamp for getting fit? I've always been fit, still probably more fit than most people, despite the depression. This shows you simply have no idea about severe depression and apparently seem unwilling to discuss your original comments. I have to wonder why you continue to post in this section of the forum.
Certainly mind and body have a connection. I would have been more interested had you posted something regarding meditation, Dharma's from an enlightened Buddhist teacher, or an article on the positives of Tai Chi. I've tried all that too, by the way.
Sorry you had to endure that Marylee, and from someone there supposedly to help. Maybe that was the idiots tough love approach. Whatever ridiculous reason no one has to take that kind of abuse. I hope you complained about the treatment you received. Ya Jasper, some of these juiced trainers seem to have lost their common sense regarding what the mainstream client is looking for. You didn't just join the Marines and the trainer is your Drill Instructor for heaven sakes.
I haven't read any of the comments here, however, to understand real depression, you need to experience it or really research it and so you'll be enabled to get an educated thought.
Depression is a serious issue that is often treatable with the help of a therapist, positive thinking, setting/achieving goals, and perhaps even some short-term mood enhancing drugs.
People have spiraled out of control, taking their own lives due to deep depression ... It's best to sit and talk to someone who is not related, and is a qualified professional and can sit, listen, and have a non-judgmental non-biased view, thought, and words to guide you to brighter paths.
Good posts DofM, you are 100 percent right. And I've heard all of them on the list and then some. How about this one, "oh poor little you" That was a favorite of my mom's. Another one I like, "God won't give you more than you can handle". << Yeah tell that to all the people that snapped cause it Was too much and committed suicide. Dumb things to say for sure and if these same people were drowning they would expect support and to be understood. It's really a shame there isn't more empathy and understanding in this world. Over used cliches make me want to punch the person that said it. Can't people think for themselves at all?
People should also consider that the person posting above or below them might be very on edge now and think twice about posting something that will upset others.
What that basically translates to is, "I don't want to hear about your depression because it makes me uncomfortable, so I'm going to toss out a meaningless platitude and hope that you shut up."
People have spiraled out of control, taking their own lives due to deep depression ... It's best to sit and talk to someone who is not related, and is a qualified professional and can sit, listen, and have a non-judgmental non-biased view, thought, and words to guide you to brighter paths.
A qualified professional often has no clue to what its like to walk the walk everyday. Book trained, often lacking empathy, understanding, compassion and real world hardships and in the field for the bucks. That's the norm of the qualified professionals out there. Try finding one that has some depth and real caring, for some people it takes years, some never find a decent doc or therapist. Its far more frustrating than you make it out to be and it simplifies the complexities of ones individual struggle with severe depression.
What that basically translates to is, "I don't want to hear about your depression because it makes me uncomfortable, so I'm going to toss out a meaningless platitude and hope that you shut up."
Exactly. My dads sister was GREAT with those. When my dad was in the last part of his life, she would come visit and talk about HER issues and say to the hospital staff "Im not good at these things", play the victim, etc. (My dad went from 172 to 99 lbs from depression).
beyond selfish., inconsiderate, and making the person feel even worse (at that point if it was even possible since he was barely eating or talking)
people need to shut up if they cant contribute someting helpful.
I would never presume or minimize someone else's depression, a good therapist or doctor will not either.
I often wonder about some "trained" therapists. Who have never really experienced true poverty, disability, chronic pain, or a chronic illness, or even been a victim of crime. And they spout off with meaningless platitudes and give you a worksheet to complete about cognitive thinking. Is that really what depressed folks need?
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, inconsiderate, and making the person feel even worse (at that point if it was even possible since he was barely eating or talking)