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I'm quite sure I was born a Hilton and someone swapped me with Paris...she has my life and I have hers.
I was definitely born with champagne tastes and a beer income...and ideas above my station
But then I think...if I had a life like her or Suri, would I be a happier or more fulfilled person? Rich people commit suicide too, so it's obviously not all about money.
I'm quite sure I was born a Hilton and someone swapped me with Paris...she has my life and I have hers.
I was definitely born with champagne tastes and a beer income...and ideas above my station
But then I think...if I had a life like her or Suri, would I be a happier or more fulfilled person? Rich people commit suicide too, so it's obviously not all about money.
Psychology Today published an article a long time ago that found that the happiness level was not very different for those who had enough to subsist on vs. those who had much more. I should try to find that article.
Maybe I'm having a bit of a little pity party (hate those words but can't think of anything else right now) now, but the question comes to my mind. Why do some get to lived such charmed lives and others just seem to endure one bad thing after another?
Case in point - my brother and his wife met at 15 and married at 20. Their life is like a fairy tale. They have two daughters (both of whom turned out well) and several grandchildren. They both have good careers, they're rich, they've got their health, they go on trips, they're still in love.
Others are not so fortunate. They suffer more than the average person. They deal with circumstances beyond their control that cause a great deal of pain. They do not live happy lives. I could go on and on, but you get the idea.
One is born into privilege, the other into poverty. The American Dream is (or more like was) within reach of many who were born under unfortunate circumstances. Still, others are born with physical challenges that are not fair, mental challenges they did not ask for, or get one or both during their lives. If it doesn't happen to them, then it happens to their loved ones which just causes more pain.
Karma is an easy thing to chalk it up to. I guess that's what I do.
What are your thoughts?
I'm sure all of us know by now that fairness isn't something to be expected in life. Some people seem to have all the luck, some seem to have none at all. No matter how "good" or "bad" they seem to be. It's just life and there is not a thing any one of us can do about it, except to adjust our perspectives of our lives.
For me, I tend to focus on what I have compared to what I do not have. I am continually amazed at how fate has not yet dealt me the insurmountable difficulties which I am expecting at every turn. Of course I have had my share of troubles, but I know it can always have been so much worse. Because of this I live in constant expectation of the worst, feeling every day as though the bottom will fall out of the tub (I should say I attempt to avoid such dark times in the daily decisions I make, but the choices you make will not change what fate has in store for you; I also do not have illusions that the choices I make are always wise ones).
I try to be grateful for everything I do have and not take things for granted, and pray that I will have the strength to overcome difficulties when I am faced with them.
I'm sure all of us know by now that fairness isn't something to be expected in life. Some people seem to have all the luck, some seem to have none at all. No matter how "good" or "bad" they seem to be. It's just life and there is not a thing any one of us can do about it, except to adjust our perspectives of our lives.
For me, I tend to focus on what I have compared to what I do not have. I am continually amazed at how fate has not yet dealt me the insurmountable difficulties which I am expecting at every turn. Of course I have had my share of troubles, but I know it can always have been so much worse. Because of this I live in constant expectation of the worst, feeling every day as though the bottom will fall out of the tub (I should say I attempt to avoid such dark times in the daily decisions I make, but the choices you make will not change what fate has in store for you; I also do not have illusions that the choices I make are always wise ones).
I try to be grateful for everything I do have and not take things for granted, and pray that I will have the strength to overcome difficulties when I am faced with them.
Great post, but I must disagree with what I bolded. My cousin died at 56 from lung cancer. She smoked. Had she not smoked I don't think she would have died at 56. I'd like to think your way, but I just can't (when it comes to what I bolded).
However, today I was expecting bad news regarding bloodwork I had done. I was surprised it was great. I don't deserve to have great bloodwork. So I guess at times for as cheated as I feel I am also surprised at certain outcomes.
Great post, but I must disagree with what I bolded. My cousin died at 56 from lung cancer. She smoked. Had she not smoked I don't think she would have died at 56. I'd like to think your way, but I just can't (when it comes to what I bolded).
However, today I was expecting bad news regarding bloodwork I had done. I was surprised it was great. I don't deserve to have great bloodwork. So I guess at times for as cheated as I feel I am also surprised at certain outcomes.
Yes and no. Something like 1/3 of people who get lung cancer didn't smoke. The stigma toward people who do (and trust me, I go into a fit of rage when I see a smoker and often will say something, pointing out my cancer scars) results in a lot less funding going toward treatment. I know 32 year olds who have died of lung cancer for absolutely no reason. Just like I got cancer at 23 (and really, at 18 or 19) for no reason other than MAYBE passing by someone with mono.
Then there are people who smoke into their 90s and nothing happens to them. I don't know how to explain or accept that.
yes i beleive some people are screwed in life from the jump. true enough that there's someone in the world who has dealt with the same exact problems you have -- but so what? what good does that do you that they may have been able to overcome them. I mean good for them and everything, but really...
Maybe I'm having a bit of a little pity party (hate those words but can't think of anything else right now) now, but the question comes to my mind. Why do some get to lived such charmed lives and others just seem to endure one bad thing after another?
Case in point - my brother and his wife met at 15 and married at 20. Their life is like a fairy tale. They have two daughters (both of whom turned out well) and several grandchildren. They both have good careers, they're rich, they've got their health, they go on trips, they're still in love.
Others are not so fortunate. They suffer more than the average person. They deal with circumstances beyond their control that cause a great deal of pain. They do not live happy lives. I could go on and on, but you get the idea.
One is born into privilege, the other into poverty. The American Dream is (or more like was) within reach of many who were born under unfortunate circumstances. Still, others are born with physical challenges that are not fair, mental challenges they did not ask for, or get one or both during their lives. If it doesn't happen to them, then it happens to their loved ones which just causes more pain.
Karma is an easy thing to chalk it up to. I guess that's what I do.
What are your thoughts?
People who feel they've been crapped on blame everything on luck. Good luck, bad luck. Nothing's their fault. People who feel they've been handed a good hand know you make your own "luck".
All you have to do to feel you've had a crappy hand dealt to you is think of the holocaust survivors that think they're the luckiest people in the world.
People who feel they've been crapped on blame everything on luck. Good luck, bad luck. Nothing's their fault. People who feel they've been handed a good hand know you make your own "luck".
All you have to do to feel you've had a crappy hand dealt to you is think of the holocaust survivors that think they're the luckiest people in the world.
I feel it has to do with one's "locus of control". I like the story of Precious and The Color Purpose for this reason. When I first saw Precious I thougnt, "God, what a depressing movie! Downer. Blech!" But when i saw it a second time, I saw it through new eyes and I thought, "God, what a resilient young woman!" It says something about the human will.
As that saying goes, "Where there's a will, there's a way."
People who feel they've been crapped on blame everything on luck. Good luck, bad luck. Nothing's their fault. People who feel they've been handed a good hand know you make your own "luck".
All you have to do to feel you've had a crappy hand dealt to you is think of the holocaust survivors that think they're the luckiest people in the world.
That reminds me of a quote from Elie Wiesel I read in an interview once. The interviewer had met him in a Manhattan restaurant for dinner where Wiesel was a regular and without asking brought him spaghetti and meatballs because he knew that's what he'd want. The interviewer was somewhat amused that someone as famous as Elie Wiesel was eating spaghetti in a fancy NYC restaurant and mentioned it, to which Wiesel replied, "I think bread and butter is a good dinner."
I never forgot that. Profound statement from a man who as a starving teenager "looked in a mirror and saw a corpse looking back."
People who feel they've been crapped on blame everything on luck. Good luck, bad luck. Nothing's their fault. People who feel they've been handed a good hand know you make your own "luck".
All you have to do to feel you've had a crappy hand dealt to you is think of the holocaust survivors that think they're the luckiest people in the world.
hate to blow your fantasy but thier are hollocaust survivors ( or survivors of the rwandan genocide ) who dont consider themselves incredibly luck
its silly believing that you make your own luck , if you made your own luck , it would not be luck by definition as luck is a fortunate or unfortunate outcome which someone plays no part in instigating , 99.9% of people the world over will go to work today and return home safely where as .1% will get struck by a falling item from a tall building , get struck by lightening , get dragged down an alley way and murdered , the amount of inconcievable outcomes which cannot be anticipated are countless
Last edited by irish_bob; 05-03-2012 at 08:01 AM..
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