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Situational is not clinical. I can see panic attacks arising out of a situational depression. If depression is situational, I can see either getting a little help temporarily from a medication OR just seeking support from friends and family.
That is a far cry from clinical depression where sometimes people must take medication for life. Plus, there have been people in very good situations who are clinically depressed. A good and quick read is "Darkness Visible" by William Styron.
Anyway, the fact I've had to deal with clinical depression, at times more severe than other times, makes me feel cheated.
Okay mistygirl. If it fits in with your world view then fine. I'm not going to discredit your experiences but if you look for the exceptional, you will find it. I know this.
I wish you all the best in life and I hope all goes well for you even if you don't see it for yourself.
I have pity parties all the time. It is true people have charmed lives.
You can take the time to look at all the wonderful everything you have in your life, but for me it is truly hard not to look at friends that have family that lives close, great friends, and live comfortable.
Okay mistygirl. If it fits in with your world view then fine. I'm not going to discredit your experiences but if you look for the exceptional, you will find it. I know this.
I wish you all the best in life and I hope all goes well for you even if you don't see it for yourself.
Thank you, but I'm not quite sure what ^ means.
I quoted something describing a book (that I own and have read) that is a good read and gives a glimpse into someone's descent into crippling depression. I get my books mixed up, but if I am not mistaken this guy had quite an enviable life. In spite of this he succumbed to the black dog.
So if someone with an enviable life is susceptible to this, then what to do with someone prone to depression who has had a far less than enviable life?
Anyway, I think it's okay to say "I feel cheated in this regard." If you don't feel cheated in any regard then more power to you.
I have pity parties all the time. It is true people have charmed lives.
You can take the time to look at all the wonderful everything you have in your life, but for me it is truly hard not to look at friends that have family that lives close, great friends, and live comfortable.
Well, thank you for being honest. It *is* only human to look at others' lives, if for no other reason to see how we've screwed up. In seeing how we've screwed up, it may or may not be possible to turn things around.
I can certainly relate to many of the folks in this thread, as I've had clinical depression for a good part of my adult life (dx'd in 2004).
I too, have felt cheated in life, and my severe hearing loss certainly hasn't helped. And I have a problem with mean / bad / obnoxious people, which makes me a bit of a misanthrope at times.
Oh yeah, I haven't worked a "real job" in 14 years...lol. I've done temp jobs, did a stint with Americorps (doesn't count as a job, as Social Security was not paid in), plus I have / continue to do the "odd job" whenever I can get it. But any prospect of a career is long, long gone.
Means of support is from my loving partner of 21 years, who's worked with the same company more or less for 18 of those years., as well as assistance from family. In that regard, I consider myself very, very lucky, as I don't have to work. But still, life is hard for a "non-worker" in this modern era, especially for a male. Friends have drifted away, people don't take me seriously, and I know I've been a big let-down to my parents. And while my depression is currently being treated with meds, it's not a cure, and some days are certainly worse than others.
The thing is, I want to work, I want to contribute, make a living for myself. I understand the basic human need to be productive, and I feel it every day. But the world of work has rejected me at every turn. I've done "my own biz" thing, and failed, not once, but several times. It's the breaks, I guess.
But we make do on a single salary, and we have a nice house in a nice neighborhood, so what more can I ask? My days are as carefree as they can be, I don't have to be with people I don't want to be with, and I do have a few very good friends that mean a great deal to me.
So it feels like a tug-of-war sometimes, but I do my best to focus on the positive. All you can do, really. And maybe Lady Luck will give me a smile or two, like she has in the past.
Maybe I'm having a bit of a little pity party (hate those words but can't think of anything else right now) now, but the question comes to my mind. Why do some get to lived such charmed lives and others just seem to endure one bad thing after another?...What are your thoughts?
I can certainly relate to many of the folks in this thread, as I've had clinical depression for a good part of my adult life (dx'd in 2004).
I too, have felt cheated in life, and my severe hearing loss certainly hasn't helped. And I have a problem with mean / bad / obnoxious people, which makes me a bit of a misanthrope at times.
Oh yeah, I haven't worked a "real job" in 14 years...lol. I've done temp jobs, did a stint with Americorps (doesn't count as a job, as Social Security was not paid in), plus I have / continue to do the "odd job" whenever I can get it. But any prospect of a career is long, long gone.
Means of support is from my loving partner of 21 years, who's worked with the same company more or less for 18 of those years., as well as assistance from family. In that regard, I consider myself very, very lucky, as I don't have to work. But still, life is hard for a "non-worker" in this modern era, especially for a male. Friends have drifted away, people don't take me seriously, and I know I've been a big let-down to my parents. And while my depression is currently being treated with meds, it's not a cure, and some days are certainly worse than others.
The thing is, I want to work, I want to contribute, make a living for myself. I understand the basic human need to be productive, and I feel it every day. But the world of work has rejected me at every turn. I've done "my own biz" thing, and failed, not once, but several times. It's the breaks, I guess.
But we make do on a single salary, and we have a nice house in a nice neighborhood, so what more can I ask? My days are as carefree as they can be, I don't have to be with people I don't want to be with, and I do have a few very good friends that mean a great deal to me.
So it feels like a tug-of-war sometimes, but I do my best to focus on the positive. All you can do, really. And maybe Lady Luck will give me a smile or two, like she has in the past.
Well, I think Lady Luck has smiled on you. You are very fortunate, indeed, to not HAVE to work. I get that you WANT to work, but at least you are not going to end up out on the street.
I was in a store yesterday and answered a customer's question for the guy behind the counter. He commented on that and said something like "I could use someone like you." Of course I said I am looking for work. Even that tiny amount of positive feedback made me feel better.
My career is way in the past too. I am looking at a long process of rebuilding. I've done this before, but I find volunteering is a good way to get back into some sort of routine and one can get references that way. So my plan is to "process" the last seven months of my life, get over it, and then start to apply for volunteer jobs. I also plan to look at a master's program. I'm single so I have to rebuild, as it were.
I quoted something describing a book (that I own and have read) that is a good read and gives a glimpse into someone's descent into crippling depression. I get my books mixed up, but if I am not mistaken this guy had quite an enviable life. In spite of this he succumbed to the black dog.
So if someone with an enviable life is susceptible to this, then what to do with someone prone to depression who has had a far less than enviable life?
Anyway, I think it's okay to say "I feel cheated in this regard." If you don't feel cheated in any regard then more power to you.
I didn't say it wasn't okay. I said I don't compare myself anymore as I see how my life experiences have turned out to have been a benefit to me of some sort and I've come to love my path. I can't judge yours or anyone elses because I'm on the outside looking in. "The grass is always greener?" I don't know what they've been through and how it's affected them because it's a very subjective experience. Jennifer Hudson is an amazing singer and she was great in the movie Dream girls but her mother and brother were murdered. Michael Jackson had amazing talent but he had an abusive father, and the media tried to portray him as a pedophile. Oprah was raped repeatedly by a family member. I don't know how that affected them personally but I imagine it's traumatic and life changing. What was the story with Angelina Jolie, a beautiful and talented woman, who began cutting herself and entered into depression in middle school? What's the American Dream to you? Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness?
I'm not knocking your experiences, mistygirl. I don't know what you've been through and like I said to irish_bob in another thread, I'm open to hearing your story. But I can look around and compare myself based on what I see from the outside (which for me was self-sabotaging because I'll never be like anyone else and it's madness to think that I will be) or I can work with myself and accept myself as as I am and move at my own pace towards what I want. Intention is the magic drug. And life might not follow that perfect path we envision in our heads but if we get clear on what we want and push towards it, somehow, in some magical way that I don't understand, it comes to pass. But it can't be compared.
I was just answering the question in your OP title.
I didn't say it wasn't okay. I said I don't compare myself anymore as I see how my life experiences have turned out to have been a benefit to me of some sort and I've come to love my path. I can't judge yours or anyone elses because I'm on the outside looking in. "The grass is always greener?" I don't know what they've been through and how it's affected them because it's a very subjective experience. Jennifer Hudson is an amazing singer and she was great in the movie Dream girls but her mother and brother were murdered. Michael Jackson had amazing talent but he had an abusive father, and the media tried to portray him as a pedophile. Oprah was raped repeatedly by a family member. I don't know how that affected them personally but I imagine it's traumatic and life changing. What was the story with Angelina Jolie, a beautiful and talented woman, who began cutting herself and entered into depression in middle school? What's the American Dream to you? Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness?
I'm not knocking your experiences, mistygirl. I don't know what you've been through and like I said to irish_bob in another thread, I'm open to hearing your story. But I can look around and compare myself based on what I see from the outside (which for me was self-sabotaging because I'll never be like anyone else and it's madness to think that I will be) or I can work with myself and accept myself as as I am and move at my own pace towards what I want. Intention is the magic drug. And life might not follow that perfect path we envision in our heads but if we get clear on what we want and push towards it, somehow, in some magical way that I don't understand, it comes to pass. But it can't be compared.
I was just answering the question in your OP title.
Everything you say is rational and I can agree with you on most everything. There are limitations to the Internet in that we lose a lot being able to only communicate via the written word.
I don't think irish_bob would mind me mentioning he had a coworker who smeared him, since he said it himself. I could tell he was still very upset so maybe being ruined on the job is a big deal. Well, I've had two very bad things happen that were major in my two very best jobs I've ever had. The first one was so many years ago but it was horrible at the time. In the first situation I did not press charges as who would have believed me? To add injury to injury, I was beaten for that situation by my BF. I am sure that messed me up in many ways. The second situation involved a coworker harassing me on a business trip - me and six or seven men in another city. Horrible things were said about me in front of both my bosses AND the client and that ruined me in that job, that career. So I dropped out completely and things have never been the same. Did I deserve to be the target in either case? No. However, I am going to have a heck of a time explaining my absence from the workforce and am not sure just what I'm going to do AFTER I recover from seven months of recent stalking. At least I hope it's over.
So if I feel "cheated" in some regards, it's because I've dealt with major stuff most people do not have to deal with. This is why I REALLY resent it when someone tells me to drop the victim stuff. I *was* a victim of sexual assault on the job, harassment on another job that ruined me, and then the stalking. Each of these acts is against the law!
Anyway, I've had to deal with a lot and so I do not share your appreciation of life's events. I could have done without what I've mentioned here.
Oh, and to me the American Dream as I've referred to it in this thread is the opportunity, no matter how humble your beginnings, to do whatever you want to and become all you aspire to. That was a lot easier years ago.
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