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Old 05-05-2012, 07:40 PM
 
Location: Bergen County, NJ
1,603 posts, read 3,738,358 times
Reputation: 1838

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All the money and fame in the world may not bring happiness- Mental illness is a serious issue and sadly, ignorance is bliss. "If you don't understand it, research it" is my message to those who make sicking, brainless comments such as stated in the original post-

""He has money, career and fame and should just quit whining."


"He's a weakling. He should just toughen up and get over it."


"He's just using this excuse as a free pass to get what he wants."


Some people need medication to balance them out, and without it, they can't function. I wouldn't wish those shoes to be worn by anyone .... Sad.
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Old 05-05-2012, 10:33 PM
 
Location: PA
2,111 posts, read 1,944,456 times
Reputation: 5432
Quote:
Originally Posted by Artistic Spirit View Post
I read that San Francisco Giant's baseball player Aubrey Huff was put on a 15 day disabled list because of anxiety disorder.

On a local sports talk show several of the callers weren't sympathetic to his problem. Comments like:

"He has money, career and fame and should just quit whining."

"He's a weakling. He should just toughen up and get over it."

"He's just using this excuse as a free pass to get what he wants."

"He doesn't need any outside help. It's all mind over matter."

"Yeah, everyone has a mental illness today. It's so cool to have one."

I wonder about the lack of sympathy for Aubrey. People I know who have a mental illness want relief from their suffering. They need the caring and support from other people. If Aubrey needs help with his anxiety disorder, why all the unsympathetic remarks?
Are some people unsympathetic to mental illness? That's an understatement. Though I suspect that the lone cowboys that make statements like these would gripe and moan to anyone within earshot if they got a hangnail.

Thankfully (or maybe not), a lot of people seem to have experience with anxiety and depression, and therefore are more compassionate. With my own experience, I feel that somehow I need to use it to help others going through the same thing. You know, find a pony in all this crap.
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Old 05-06-2012, 12:07 AM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,712 posts, read 10,292,862 times
Reputation: 7553
Quote:
Originally Posted by dragonborn View Post
No one can really help and I don't expect them to. I've always been an "each to their own" kind of person; our brain chemistries are so different, yet we are so wrapped up in pigeonholing people from the day they're born to the day they die. People cope differently, so what applies to person A may not apply to person B. I think the guilt comes from having my mother tel me 8 million times as a kid "Other people manage to do X"....and? I do have a lot of resilience in other areas, but not where it matters.

I think living with a bunch of strangers would be too intimidating. Although I would like to feel a sense of belonging somewhere, I am also very shy and reclusive. The work I do is also a big part of the problem.

No I do not expect them to help per say, I expect them to leave me alone at this point. I have had it with them as a whole...what kind of work do you do? Also, I agree with you that I was also told "everyone else manages to do "X" so why can't you?" I can tell you somethign about 'belonging somewhere' once people figure out this is your goal or what you want -- they seem to do everything they can to remind you of why it's a lost cause. It doesn't matter how many different way you present yourself to them. It's just going to drive you deeper into depression to keep trying to fit in with them. Just say to hell with it.

Last edited by Doll Eyes; 05-06-2012 at 12:33 AM..
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Old 05-06-2012, 07:59 AM
 
Location: Purgatory
2,663 posts, read 4,675,815 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
No I do not expect them to help per say, I expect them to leave me alone at this point. I have had it with them as a whole...what kind of work do you do? Also, I agree with you that I was also told "everyone else manages to do "X" so why can't you?" I can tell you somethign about 'belonging somewhere' once people figure out this is your goal or what you want -- they seem to do everything they can to remind you of why it's a lost cause. It doesn't matter how many different way you present yourself to them. It's just going to drive you deeper into depression to keep trying to fit in with them. Just say to hell with it.
That resonates strongly with me. I have tried to "fit in" in the past, even though it took an awful lot of effort on my part, only to fall flat on my face. I used to be quite outgoing, at least on the surface. Over time, I gradually just gave up trying as I got tired of either being used for something (e.g. my car) or ended up being pushed aside anyway by a group who I thought I was finally somewhat of a part of.

I do accounting; it's not the work as such (though it's boring), but rather the corporate world and people that I cannot stomach. It boils down to what you mentioned - I don't want to be thrust into awkward social situations, especially at work. I would rather just keep my head down and listen to my music while doing my work.
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Old 05-06-2012, 11:27 AM
 
Location: FL
1,727 posts, read 2,243,080 times
Reputation: 1047
I'm suprised this is suprising to you.

I guess I've been around a lot of unsympathetic people in my lifetime.

It's everywhere.

Ad sports mentality to it and sympathy is almost non-existent.

There are lots of people who just think along the lines of "suck it up" "deal with it" "put your big boy/big girl pants on" etc etc.

I happen to be a person who thinks everyone has problems and our ability to deal with those problems vary from person to person.

I guess it takes all kinds to make this world go round.
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Old 05-06-2012, 11:28 AM
 
Location: FL
1,727 posts, read 2,243,080 times
Reputation: 1047
I'm suprised this is suprising to you.

I guess I've been around a lot of unsympathetic people in my lifetime.

It's everywhere.

Add sports mentality to it and sympathy is almost non-existent.

There are lots of people who just think along the lines of "suck it up" "deal with it" "put your big boy/big girl pants on" etc etc.

I happen to be a person who thinks everyone has problems and our ability to deal with those problems vary from person to person.

I guess it takes all kinds to make this world go round.
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Old 05-06-2012, 11:32 AM
 
Location: FL
1,727 posts, read 2,243,080 times
Reputation: 1047
Quote:
Originally Posted by dragonborn View Post
That summarises one of the main reasons why I cannot stomach society.
I completely understand.

Although I manage to function in society, I often think to myself, "I understand why people become hermits".
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Old 05-07-2012, 03:28 PM
 
Location: Old Town Alexandria
14,495 posts, read 24,226,808 times
Reputation: 8847
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
That's one of the things that NAMI works so hard to eradicate--the "shame" that comes with having mental illness. This comes directly from the perceptions of society that it's somehow your own damn fault and that you can just will it away or snap out of it somehow. Yet they would never say that to a person who has diabetes.
yes. You can even see that in some nasty flip responses here. Case in point.

Expect nothing, and you wont be disappointed in the case of some. I guess for medical or psych issues one shouldnt even be reading posts here. jmo.
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Old 05-08-2012, 10:48 AM
Status: "Disoriented" (set 15 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
60,980 posts, read 58,245,758 times
Reputation: 73006
Quote:
Originally Posted by dreamofmonterey View Post
yes. You can even see that in some nasty flip responses here. Case in point.

Expect nothing, and you wont be disappointed in the case of some. I guess for medical or psych issues one shouldnt even be reading posts here. jmo.
Not if they are in a fragile state--you are correct.

I was on CD for a long time before I read and posted in this forum. But then I found that some of the best people on CD were HERE.

Sometimes I prefer those with "mental health" issues. They can be more real. And I'm strong enough that I can respond to/ignore the more ignorant who wander in here and tell us to take walks and get fresh air and all will be unicorns and puppies.
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Old 05-08-2012, 11:23 AM
 
Location: Old Town Alexandria
14,495 posts, read 24,226,808 times
Reputation: 8847
I agree MQ.
If a poster has clinical depression, I would never tell them to go to the gym, and actually the top thread on here addressing depression specifically may be helpful for those with depression. It is presumtuous and disingenous, and even dangerous to assume to know what anyone is going through unless anyone knows them personally.

then there are trolls posting flippant b.s. which is uncalled for,lol.
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