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Old 05-12-2012, 04:21 PM
 
5,546 posts, read 8,857,864 times
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Where I live you can petition to have someone committed - at least for a psych eval. I don't know about your state. I'd encourage you to get in touch with local social services in your state and see if you can do the same. I'm not talking about committing someone, rather a 72 hour psych eval. If you'd like to DM me privately, I will see if I can help locate any resources where you live.
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Old 05-12-2012, 04:26 PM
 
5,546 posts, read 8,857,864 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by McGowdog View Post
When I was a little kid, my first career ambition was to be a psychiatrist so I could help my brother get well. While on that path, I gave my aunt Fern a free diagnosis and told her that she was shy. She thought that was pretty funny. This is the same woman who while drunk said, "Well if it wasn't for awholes pssys and armpits, there wouldn't be any gdmd commercials!" Aunt Fern got kicked out of a rough Southern Colorado bar for fighting.

What I'm saying is... she's not shy.

A career change was in order.
And this addresses the OP's predicament, HOW?

IMHO, you are obsessed with AA and drinking or not that you cannot even comment on the OP's situation or pain.
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Old 05-12-2012, 08:43 PM
 
16,053 posts, read 20,633,895 times
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You have been there some horrific ordeals. I feel great respect for you that you have remained so level headed. You need to be there for your Mother now. Your Grandfather has passed, and is no longer there to intercede w/ this bizarre behavior, so I would stay away.
You may feel guilt and sadness, but for yours and your mother's sake, just lean on each other. There are some wonderful books regarding toxic people. It may even help you and your Mother to go to counseling together, at least for the grief and loss involving your Grandfather. I wish you well.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 11thHour View Post
She's about 75. For as long as I can remember, she has claimed that demons visit her and talk to her. I remember being young, in the back of the car she was driving, and her suddenly screaming and slamming on the brakes. She turned around and said the devil was sitting in the seat next to me, and she made us abandon the vehicle.

Her whole life, she sequestered herself away from the outside world. She won't leave the house unless it's an emergency. So my grandfather basically had to do everything, shopping, working, yardwork, everything but normal house chores. They moved multiple times due to her being convinced the neighbors were trying to kill her. She wouldn't see family, we've always had to come see her. She kept all the curtains drawn at all times, doors locked at all times. People she doesn't know are not allowed in her house, meaning no maintenance people, nurses, etc.

She kept a meticulously clean house. She does nothing but clean, clean, clean, and occasionally peeks out the curtains to see if she's being spied upon. She also would lash out in anger, without reason or any prior indication of anger. Just sudden outbursts of yelling accusations. For example, she would be ill and we'd come over to take her to a doctor. That's the only time she'd leave the house. But not without a fight. She'd yell 'you are trying to kill me! They'll euthanize me! You just want my money!" But they had no money and live a meager existence. We always just kept patient with her until she calmed down. Recently I was over at their house, and she had put drapes around their entire back patio. I asked why, and she said the neighbors were spying on her. She said they had poisoned the trees along the fence, cut off branches, and broke a hole through the fence so they could spy on her and sneak into the yard to poison her. As she explains this, she's on the patio with me, just peeking out the drapes and whispering this as she points to the trees. She wouldn't leave the patio. So I walk around the yard and see no evidence of poison, or cut branches, or of holes in the fence. She also said the police were driving by at night with a device that lets them magically open peoples front doors by remote, even if bolted shut, so they can steal people's stuff in the middle of the night. She saw it happen but didn't turn them in. If youngins were visiting, she always insisted they stay inside and she'd bolt the door, set the alarm. She said the neighbors would abduct them and throw them into their basement dungeons. 'See that blonde girl? she'd say as she peek through the front curtains. 'She seems nice, but she's a snake. She'll make friends with you kids, invite you in, and her dad will duct tape your mouths shut and throw you into the dungeon!'. Oh lordy.

Recently, my grandfather was dying of lung cancer and spent his last days in their home. She refused to allow any type of hospice or end of life care. He suffered needlessly as she was certain that anybody entering her house, ie hospice nurse, was only out to kill him and rob her. The dr had some mild pain pills delivered, and she refused to allow those to be administered, despite him saying he needed it. She was convinced the pills were poison. We were over there helping him and trying our best to comfort him and provide care and dignity for him. She would randomly shout at us that we were 'murders!' and that we were ruining things and that we were destroying her life. Finally, after days of this, we were able to convince her that hospice care was needed. They delivered a special bed for him, gave him morphine, etc, everything he needed from the get go. That night, he died. His daughter, my mother, had just arrived and found him lying on the floor dead. My grandmother insisted he was fine, and made him a cup of coffee! My mother snapped and really let her have a verbal lashing. At this point, my grandmother screamed 'you killed him!' You did this!' Get out of my house you murderer!' I should mention that my aunt, who is my grandmother's daughter, but my grandfather's stepdaughter, was in on this the whole time as well, and echoed everything my grandmother said. She backed up refusing hospice care, backed up refusing meds, thought us all murderers, etc. Her daughter, my cousin, exhibits this same paranoia as well. All three have near the same delusions, outbursts, and behavior.

Anyway, it tore the family apart. She refused to accept that he died of cancer, insists that the hospice nurse killed him, and that it's our fault for insisting on hospice. I think she will soon enter dementia. My aunt, her similarly paranoid daughter, is now taking care of her. What a mess. In the end I feel so bad for my mother, his only birth daughter, who had all this thrown upon her. I don't know how my grandfather remained married to such an individual for his whole life. I wouldn't wish this drama upon my worst enemy. My grandfather and mother both had tried for years to get her to seek help, but were never able to get her to step out of her alternate-reality long enough to actually do it. This mental illness is just horrible, it destroyed not only her but her family
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Old 05-14-2012, 02:15 AM
 
13,966 posts, read 26,545,619 times
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Depending on the state, you cannot have someone committed for an eval. In my state, commitment is a 72-hour process only if person is a threat to self or others, or is severely unable to care for self (like living in squalor or running around naked or something).
Does sound like GM could be PS. Sounds a lot like my late grandmother, except for the clean part. Shame of it is, when they were younger (mine was born in 1904 or so) no one had a clue about these things. As one relative said, "Your grandmother was always senile."
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Old 05-14-2012, 04:15 AM
 
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Thanks all. Yeah it's been a challenging time. We've spoken with a counselor who agrees she most likely is a PS. At this time there is nothing we will do further with my grandmother.
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Old 05-14-2012, 04:55 AM
 
13,515 posts, read 14,944,583 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 11thHour View Post
She's about 75. For as long as I can remember, she has claimed that demons visit her and talk to her. I remember being young, in the back of the car she was driving, and her suddenly screaming and slamming on the brakes. She turned around and said the devil was sitting in the seat next to me, and she made us abandon the vehicle...........
A terrible story, with much suffering for everyone.

This woman was very mentally ill long ago, and should have had a sanity hearing and been committed to care whether she wanted it or not. Possibly that might have helped. She could not help but get worse without care - whether she wanted it or not.

My aunt behaved in the same way, and after two trips to the mental hospital with her raving and screaming all the way, she finally got better enough to live at home and function normally. She was in her late sixties.

Sounds as if at this point you need to turn all your attention to your mom, and the other situation will take care of itself in its own way.
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Old 05-14-2012, 11:09 PM
 
Location: The 719
15,176 posts, read 23,174,609 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mistygrl092 View Post
And this addresses the OP's predicament, HOW?

IMHO, you are obsessed with AA and drinking or not that you cannot even comment on the OP's situation or pain.
Who asked your opinion? I have a brother who is a paranoid schizophrenic. He's been that way since I can remember. I saw him at the age of about 16 years old bust my other brother's arm with a fire poker. I saw him drive a car in access of 80 mph down the wrong side of the road on Lassen in Chatsworth California into a lamp post and get carted off... not to the hospital, but to jail. I was walking home from school with my friends and we saw this fantastic wreck. It all was so surreal when I saw my mom and the horror on her face as she ran to my brother in the wrecked car. I can remember seeing it in my mind play out in slow motion. I said, "There's my mom." My friends said, "What?" Then I saw my brother get removed from the car onto a stretcher and they had him handcuffed. My mom was a wreck. I can't remember how I got home from there. I think my friends took me home. All this happened just blocks from my house.

That same brother of mine looted the Thrifty drug store during the 71' Sylmar earthquake. My bro was more into drugs than alcohol. Alcohol was my scene, not his.

What I hope the OP and anyone else besides you gets out of this post is that I've been there. I've experienced this ailment from the family side... from the 6 year old little brother side of things.

You can argue my opinions, my attitude, etc. You cannot argue my experience. Well you can, but save your breath. 90% or more of your threads end up locked. Why not give this one a break?

Now, to the OP, many folks who are PS are much more functional than my bro. He's mellowed out a lot over the years and meds have gotten much better from what I hear and from what I've observed.

Last edited by McGowdog; 05-14-2012 at 11:17 PM..
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Old 05-15-2012, 12:44 AM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
16,082 posts, read 24,678,819 times
Reputation: 18046
Quote:
Originally Posted by mistygrl092 View Post
And this addresses the OP's predicament, HOW?

IMHO, you are obsessed with AA and drinking or not that you cannot even comment on the OP's situation or pain.
Wow, I'm just amazed misty. You really need to take a step back.

A light hearted chuckle on a serious topic is not the end of the world.

Do lighten up.
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Old 05-15-2012, 12:50 AM
 
Location: The 719
15,176 posts, read 23,174,609 times
Reputation: 14343
Thank you. Sorry to anybody who was offended by Aunt Fern, God rest her soul.
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Old 05-15-2012, 12:24 PM
 
Location: The Lakes Region
3,074 posts, read 4,205,481 times
Reputation: 2350
Quote:
Originally Posted by McGowdog View Post
Who asked your opinion? I have a brother who is a paranoid schizophrenic. He's been that way since I can remember. I saw him at the age of about 16 years old bust my other brother's arm with a fire poker. I saw him drive a car in access of 80 mph down the wrong side of the road on Lassen in Chatsworth California into a lamp post and get carted off... not to the hospital, but to jail. I was walking home from school with my friends and we saw this fantastic wreck. It all was so surreal when I saw my mom and the horror on her face as she ran to my brother in the wrecked car. I can remember seeing it in my mind play out in slow motion. I said, "There's my mom." My friends said, "What?" Then I saw my brother get removed from the car onto a stretcher and they had him handcuffed. My mom was a wreck. I can't remember how I got home from there. I think my friends took me home. All this happened just blocks from my house.

That same brother of mine looted the Thrifty drug store during the 71' Sylmar earthquake. My bro was more into drugs than alcohol. Alcohol was my scene, not his.

What I hope the OP and anyone else besides you gets out of this post is that I've been there. I've experienced this ailment from the family side... from the 6 year old little brother side of things.

You can argue my opinions, my attitude, etc. You cannot argue my experience. Well you can, but save your breath. 90% or more of your threads end up locked. Why not give this one a break?

Now, to the OP, many folks who are PS are much more functional than my bro. He's mellowed out a lot over the years and meds have gotten much better from what I hear and from what I've observed.
My first wife was PS so I know where you are coming from. Unfortunately, she never tried to get treatment. My gratitude comes from the fact that there is great program of recovery for alky's like me called AA and it has restored my life.
So Dog you know what the hell you are talking about. I'd rep you if they would let me but I gotsa to spread it around first.
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