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Old 05-12-2012, 11:47 PM
 
Location: Beautiful hills
248 posts, read 411,847 times
Reputation: 506

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Quote:
Originally Posted by stepka View Post
Wow I just did a search on that term and some but not all of it describes me. I am very empathic towards some people's situations but not all of them and people often confide in me. This has had a tendency to hurt me in the past though b/c after people unload on me, they're quite embarrassed that now I know their deepest darkest secrets and will avoid me from that point on. So yeah I have been one of those insecure girls and we're talking very insecure, but later I realized that all the negativity that I was picking up on was rarely directed at me and now I'm much more confident. Also, and I know this sounds dumb, but I had to spend a lot of time in self talk and remind myself that if I were not meant to be on this planet taking up space, I wouldn't be. Yeah, I was such a dolt I was almost apologetic for my presence. And now I am very choosy about which people's stories I will let in to impact my life--it really has to resonate or I lose too much energy by it. If I don't get too worn out by it, it's actually kind of fun.
Oh, I know exactly what you talking about. I recognize my old self in your story. I also use to be very open hearted and some abused my kindness. But we live and we learn.
I think we can call ourselves wise empaths as we learned how to filter what is projected toward us. I am still very empathetic, I just learned to recognize when someone is trying to manipulate me
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Old 05-13-2012, 12:01 AM
 
Location: Beautiful hills
248 posts, read 411,847 times
Reputation: 506
Quote:
Originally Posted by DayLight1555 View Post
All these years I've been in my own little world and I had no need for affirmations from people. But now that I am trying to connect with some people, I've discovered that I guess I am having a problem letting anyone close.
Tell us more about your own little world and what made you come out and play
Quote:
And all these emotions.... Each interaction with any person pulls the strings of certain emotions and you feel like you are in a flux, uncertain....not sure how the next interaction will make you feel... feeling like you are stuck inside of all these emotions and someone keeps pulling different strings and makes you feel all kinds of emotions and you just sit there, nothing left to do but to react and go along with those emotions...
Hmmm... Do you tend to over-analyze everything? Going over every minute, every sentence, every movement, etc ?
Quote:
And I guess this is a problem: as soon as you let people close, you become a puppet with strings and they pull on your emotions anyway they please... and you just have to sit there and take it
You become a puppet only when you let the another person be a puppeteer.
Quote:
Forgiveness and revenge...? I am not sure, but I strongly believe that holding grudges destroys you from the inside, so I do all I can to not to... and yet, do I hold grudges? I am not sure. I still remember something someone did to me...is that holding a grudge? I would try to be nice to them, but I would not trust them.
It is hard to let go when someone hurt you. You can forgive, but you probably won't be able to forget. And that's ok as long as you don't dwell on it.
Quote:
Revenge - naturally I am not sure how I would go about it. But I was raised to "love your enemies" and to "pray for those who persecute you", so I guess in my mind revenge is a very bad idea. And I don't do it.
How we were raised and what we were told to believe is not always how we really feel
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Old 05-13-2012, 12:05 AM
 
Location: Beautiful hills
248 posts, read 411,847 times
Reputation: 506
Quote:
Originally Posted by PrinieRN View Post
Yes, I was talking to God about this tonight and I finally came to accept that line, "Man walks by faith and not by sight." I have no idea if I'll even so much as wake up tomorrow but I do need to take it one day at a time and since the anxiousness has been slowly subsiding, I've found that my ability to feel my own emotions is so much better...I can once again hear that inner voice a bit more clearly. Something I'm very thankful for.
Good girl
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Old 05-13-2012, 12:07 AM
 
Location: Beautiful hills
248 posts, read 411,847 times
Reputation: 506
Quote:
Originally Posted by DayLight1555 View Post
I love empaths. So good to see you all/hear from.
Why do you love empaths?
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Old 05-13-2012, 12:14 AM
 
Location: Beautiful hills
248 posts, read 411,847 times
Reputation: 506
Quote:
Originally Posted by looking4answers12 View Post
Put another way, there have been times when I've had to fake not feeling like dirt for the sake of company or social circumstances and I found that after a while, the thing that I was feeling like dirt about no longer bothered me so much.
I call it - fake it until you make it . Sometimes I know that my emotions are not in the right place, but I just don't have the strength/motivation/will/whatever to turn it to where they should be. So, I go with fake it until you make it. It is actually a spiritual practice. You are what you think. It's all between the ears . Keep telling yourself that you are miserable and you will be as you are attracting the energy of misery. Tell yourself that things will get better and see what happens. It may sound like mambo-jumbo to some, but it really does work. Those who've heard of the Law of Attraction know what I am talking about.
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Old 05-13-2012, 12:17 AM
 
Location: Beautiful hills
248 posts, read 411,847 times
Reputation: 506
Quote:
Originally Posted by nyanna View Post
I'd like to join this support group

I am very insecure but I feel I have legitmate reasons. My insecurity is to the point that I don't even think I can function some days. Going out to do simple errands is a real chore for me. I don't enjoy going to the mall or going out because then I will see something that will upset me and I wind up angry, frustrated and bitter for the rest of the day. I don't know what to do about this
Welcome to the club! I no longer consider myself insecure, but I used to be, so hopefully, I can offer an advise.
Tell us more about your reasons. What is it that you see, that makes you angry, frustrated and bitter?
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Old 05-13-2012, 07:59 AM
 
Location: Love, Epicenter
399 posts, read 522,180 times
Reputation: 385
Quote:
Originally Posted by nyanna View Post
I'd like to join this support group

I am very insecure but I feel I have legitmate reasons. My insecurity is to the point that I don't even think I can function some days. Going out to do simple errands is a real chore for me. I don't enjoy going to the mall or going out because then I will see something that will upset me and I wind up angry, frustrated and bitter for the rest of the day. I don't know what to do about this
Hey chica! glad you're here. Welcome.
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Old 05-17-2012, 07:26 PM
 
Location: USA
1,589 posts, read 1,797,742 times
Reputation: 1630
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zen Dragonfly View Post
Why do you love empaths?
I think that they have a gift to "put yourself in the other person's shoes" and that makes them nicer people overall, people who can empathize and have compassion.

Also, I believe they have a gift (some to a larger degree than others) sensing people, reading people. And I just admire that.

Also, they are a good transmitter of feelings from someone from "the other side", so I love that too. Because they are here, we can connect with those...
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Old 05-17-2012, 07:38 PM
 
Location: USA
1,589 posts, read 1,797,742 times
Reputation: 1630
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zen Dragonfly View Post
Tell us more about your own little world and what made you come out and play

Well, I just convinced myself that I don't need anybody. And that I don't like being around people. So I was a loner and seemed ok with just being with very few people (those really close to me). And whatever those close people couldn't give me, was filled by God. I was really into God then.

Then my beliefs started to change about some things and I don't believe in God anymore and I started to feel emptiness and nothing can take it away except some good contact with people. (at least temporarily) And then I started to interact more with people and started to run into problems: me seeing myself as a person that people wouldn't want to interact with. Maybe partly it's because I feel different from the crowd (or at least those with whom I come into contact with mostly). And when people are different from you, both parties tend to experience some measure of dislike towards each other's personality.


Hmmm... Do you tend to over-analyze everything? Going over every minute, every sentence, every movement, etc ?

I don't think so, I think I analyze OVERALL and I think I just see more than some other people see and that's why it seems so detailed sometimes


You become a puppet only when you let the another person be a puppeteer.


Well, if you really care about the person and you trust him and then he says something that's hurtful to you, you get hurt. He says something negative, your emotions become negative. He says something positive, your emotions become positive. The only way to prevent that (as I can see) is to never get close to that person...


How we were raised and what we were told to believe is not always how we really feel

Yes, true. I guess I should have said that I believed that to be THE way to live.
.
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Old 05-17-2012, 07:41 PM
 
Location: USA
1,589 posts, read 1,797,742 times
Reputation: 1630
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
if there's nothing to be happy/excited about, what's the use of pretending?
maybe it's about fooling yourself? If we see ourselves as robots who sometimes do what we don't want them to do... maybe we could try to fool them sometimes and thus make ourselves feel better...

I think it's a great coping mechanism for those who can actually do it

sometimes I think that I am too smart to fool myself but maybe I am wrong...

there is a mechanism of denial... sometimes people can deny reality and live as though that thing doesn't exist... it's a cool ability
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