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Old 05-08-2012, 07:12 PM
 
Location: Beautiful hills
248 posts, read 412,602 times
Reputation: 506

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Quote:
Originally Posted by dragonborn View Post
Society frowns on that and that wasn't the body I was born into. Just......NO.
Society frowns upon many things. Most of them ridiculous and archaic.

 
Old 05-08-2012, 07:15 PM
 
Location: NW Montana
6,258 posts, read 13,193,826 times
Reputation: 3436
Show a little more compassion for your wife who came into this mess.
Help her and you will help yourself.
 
Old 05-08-2012, 07:17 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,712 posts, read 10,315,213 times
Reputation: 7553
Quote:
Originally Posted by dragonborn View Post
Now you know me more than pretty much anyone else....

But I don't want to be a "freak" or someone people tell their kids to avoid. I don't want to dress up or attract attention to myself as I have enough anxiety going on as it is. I've known this for as long as I can remember and have tried to bury this curse. I have to get by, passing it off as a mental illness. Unfortunately, it's got to the stage where "she" wants to take over, but I cannot allow that. I came out last year and my wife is still practically suicidal over it. I thought that by being with a woman, it would go away, but the opposite turned out to be true and I'll go to hell for it. I've always known it though, since I was 7 years old and preferred dolls and sewing to action man and transformers. No one can truly understand this hell. I don't want to be a "trannie" or engage in cross dressing. Society frowns on that and that wasn't the body I was born into. Just......NO.
yes I do and I know you're very tuned into people with mental health issues. I agree with the other poster said you can't bury it or pretend like it's not there. Just going to get worse. Besides start a blog,
definitely join a transgender forum or LGBT type forum. Because this is partly my community (I'm bisexual), I seen stories on those sites that are very similar to yours beleive it or not. Very common for men to marry women and 'hope it goes away.' This is not a "go look at their success stories" suggestion, as you already know I don't subscribe to that crap. LOL. But you do need to talk to people who are in that situation.

What do you mean you don't want to engage in cross dressing, isn't that what you want to do? . If so you can always do this at home, not sure that satisfaction would last long though...Society frowns upon just about everybody with a mental illness or other . If you notice, society has a derogatory name for just about every 'other.' Nobody within those groups wants to be called by those names, but what can we do, really? Personally I have no suggestions what to do about accepting that. It's a shame.

edit: Mightyqueen has a really good suggestion, NYC. she's right nobody would care at all about this. (Duh. I live in NJ and didn't think of that one).

Last edited by Doll Eyes; 05-08-2012 at 07:45 PM..
 
Old 05-08-2012, 07:32 PM
 
Location: Purgatory
2,663 posts, read 4,684,046 times
Reputation: 3054
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
yes I do and I know you're very tuned into people with mental health issues. I agree with the other poster said you can't bury it or pretend like it's not there. Just going to get worse. Besides start a blog,
definitely join a transgender forum or LGBT type forum. Because this is partly my community (I'm bisexual), I seen stories on those sites that are very similar to yours beleive it or not. Very common for men to marry women and 'hope it goes away.' This is not a "go look at their success stories" suggestion, as you already know I don't subscribe to that crap. LOL. But you do need to talk to people who are in that situation.

What do you mean you don't want to engage in cross dressing, isn't that what you want to do? . If so you can always do this at home, not sure that satisfaction would last long though...Society frowns upon just about everybody with a mental illness or other . If you notice, society has a derogatory name for just about every 'other.' Nobody within those groups wants to be called by those names, but what can we do, really? Personally I have no suggestions what to do about accepting that. It's a shame.
I don't want to crossdress. I'd just be a man in women's clothes, which would make me even more of a freak. To be honest, it goes beyond just clothing. I got away with it when I was younger as I was just a boy who had a lot of girlfriends. A lot harder to get away with it now post-puberty. I have actually looked into such forums. It's just a scary thing and not something I am willing to let loose in this life. Hopefully I'll be born in the right body next time around and largely free from all the depression that pertains to being born as a guy.
 
Old 05-08-2012, 07:33 PM
 
Location: Purgatory
2,663 posts, read 4,684,046 times
Reputation: 3054
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mt-7 View Post
Show a little more compassion for your wife who came into this mess.
Help her and you will help yourself.
I have infinite compassion for my wife and did not intend for any of this to happen
 
Old 05-08-2012, 07:35 PM
 
5,546 posts, read 8,872,745 times
Reputation: 2780
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
Sorry about your wife situation . It doesn't really sound like a good one to be in though. I don't know why you can't stock around. Nobody knows your secret, really, because we don't actually know you.
Yes, this is true. You CAN stick around. I've spilled my guts on this forum and so can you.

I can't speak directly to your problems, other than to say I identify with having a few to deal with myself. The one thing that is certain is that change is inevitable. This may be good news to you or not.
 
Old 05-08-2012, 07:39 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
61,205 posts, read 58,477,069 times
Reputation: 73392
Quote:
Originally Posted by dragonborn View Post
Now you know me more than pretty much anyone else....

But I don't want to be a "freak" or someone people tell their kids to avoid. I don't want to dress up or attract attention to myself as I have enough anxiety going on as it is. I've known this for as long as I can remember and have tried to bury this curse. I have to get by, passing it off as a mental illness. Unfortunately, it's got to the stage where "she" wants to take over, but I cannot allow that. I came out last year and my wife is still practically suicidal over it. I thought that by being with a woman, it would go away, but the opposite turned out to be true and I'll go to hell for it. I've always known it though, since I was 7 years old and preferred dolls and sewing to action man and transformers. No one can truly understand this hell. I don't want to be a "trannie" or engage in cross dressing. Society frowns on that and that wasn't the body I was born into. Just......NO.
Maybe you need to move somewhere where you aren't considered a freak. No one would bat an eye over this in New York.

I'm not trying to diminish your pain here or say it's easy or anything. I don't personally know. But the world for people like you is a little better--in some places--than it was even ten years ago. You are who you are, and you have to stop hating that person for who she is.

You can allow yourself to feel those things and want those things. You're not going to hell. You have as much right to be here and be who you are as anyone else.

Now give yourself five minutes to imagine what if. What if you could just live as the person you are? Then after five minutes, you can go back to hating your life. But have another five tomorrow.

Your wife will have to deal with her own trauma and move on. She'll have a good story to tell for the rest of her life of why her marriage broke up. La-di-da. You'll be in NYC making new friends.
 
Old 05-08-2012, 07:42 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
61,205 posts, read 58,477,069 times
Reputation: 73392
Quote:
Originally Posted by mistygrl092 View Post
Yes, this is true. You CAN stick around. I've spilled my guts on this forum and so can you.

I can't speak directly to your problems, other than to say I identify with having a few to deal with myself. The one thing that is certain is that change is inevitable. This may be good news to you or not.
And, I might add--not being who we are, trying to be somebody we're not, not being true to our own selves and even worse, having tried to be someone else FOR someone else--isn't that the source of misery for most of us, no matter what the circumstances?

It's been for me.
 
Old 05-08-2012, 07:45 PM
 
Location: Purgatory
2,663 posts, read 4,684,046 times
Reputation: 3054
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
Maybe you need to move somewhere where you aren't considered a freak. No one would bat an eye over this in New York.

I'm not trying to diminish your pain here or say it's easy or anything. I don't personally know. But the world for people like you is a little better--in some places--than it was even ten years ago. You are who you are, and you have to stop hating that person for who she is.

You can allow yourself to feel those things and want those things. You're not going to hell. You have as much right to be here and be who you are as anyone else.

Now give yourself five minutes to imagine what if. What if you could just live as the person you are? Then after five minutes, you can go back to hating your life. But have another five tomorrow.

Your wife will have to deal with her own trauma and move on. She'll have a good story to tell for the rest of her life of why her marriage broke up. La-di-da. You'll be in NYC making new friends.
You are so right. I wish I could make it happen.
 
Old 05-08-2012, 07:51 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
61,205 posts, read 58,477,069 times
Reputation: 73392
Quote:
Originally Posted by dragonborn View Post
You are so right. I wish I could make it happen.
The Mighty Queen will fly down and whack you with her royal scepter and make it so!

Oh, I only wish I could! But think about it. I'm sorry you are struggling so hard with this. I only know one person personally who is in your situation. She lives as a woman--I don't know any details as to what she has or has not done physically, but she's nice and very funny and seems at peace with herself. She's a coworker. I often wondered what her life was like before we knew her.
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