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Old 05-11-2012, 02:11 AM
 
Location: Purgatory
2,663 posts, read 4,677,898 times
Reputation: 3054

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Quote:
Originally Posted by phxgreenfire View Post
Not to sound mocking, but have you considered going out in public dressed as the opposite gender? Your anxiety could be related to how you feel about your body, and you might just not feel comfortable in your own skin... but that's just a hypothesis on my end. For now you might want to look up makeup techniques drag queens use (though don't exaggerate it as much as they do) so that you can learn how to reduce your masculine features. I will say that none of the people I knew made their change before age 40, so it's never too late.
I'm not going to do that in this body. No way.

 
Old 05-11-2012, 10:24 AM
 
Location: A circle of Hell so insidious, infernal and odious, Dante dared not map it
623 posts, read 1,077,487 times
Reputation: 472
Quote:
Originally Posted by dragonborn View Post
I'm not going to do that in this body. No way.
It's not like you have to hit the town in a cocktail dress or miniskirt and tube top. Unless I'm mistaken, I believe the process includes working with a psychiatrist or psychologist who must give a doctor a recommendation to allow you to start the transformation, and typically they want you to go through a transgender process before any medical changes. In other words, they want you to dress as the opposite sex for awhile and live life that way before treatment. Hormone treatment will only do so much anyway, plus the effects they do have will take a long time before effects show, but it would take some cosmetic surgery to make you appear more feminine. Perhaps as a start, you could go out in a GLBT or bohemian part of town, because you're far less likely to face jeers there, and it could be a segue into living happily and comfortably for you.

Last edited by phxgreenfire; 05-11-2012 at 10:33 AM..
 
Old 05-11-2012, 12:08 PM
 
Location: St. Louis
9,966 posts, read 17,876,533 times
Reputation: 14272
Quote:
Originally Posted by phxgreenfire View Post
It's not like you have to hit the town in a cocktail dress or miniskirt and tube top. Unless I'm mistaken, I believe the process includes working with a psychiatrist or psychologist who must give a doctor a recommendation to allow you to start the transformation, and typically they want you to go through a transgender process before any medical changes. In other words, they want you to dress as the opposite sex for awhile and live life that way before treatment. Hormone treatment will only do so much anyway, plus the effects they do have will take a long time before effects show, but it would take some cosmetic surgery to make you appear more feminine. Perhaps as a start, you could go out in a GLBT or bohemian part of town, because you're far less likely to face jeers there, and it could be a segue into living happily and comfortably for you.
You know, I think you've hit on a solution. Dragon, what do you think? Could you try it for a day--maybe even go to a different city or take a trip by yourself as a woman? An experiment. It's not like you'd be forced to commit to it. If you're too freaked out to go out by yourself, do you have a sympathetic friend you could hang out with for the day? I think it would be best to just do whatever you like most to do, rather than concentrating on "things women do" b/c that would be playing into a stereotype and I think you really want to get away from that if I read you right.
 
Old 05-11-2012, 03:02 PM
 
Location: Purgatory
2,663 posts, read 4,677,898 times
Reputation: 3054
Quote:
Originally Posted by stepka View Post
You know, I think you've hit on a solution. Dragon, what do you think? Could you try it for a day--maybe even go to a different city or take a trip by yourself as a woman? An experiment. It's not like you'd be forced to commit to it. If you're too freaked out to go out by yourself, do you have a sympathetic friend you could hang out with for the day? I think it would be best to just do whatever you like most to do, rather than concentrating on "things women do" b/c that would be playing into a stereotype and I think you really want to get away from that if I read you right.
I don't know anyone who would be prepared to do that....are you offering LOL?

Until I am ready to open pandora's box, I am not sure if that would help or hinder. It has to be something more permanent but gradual. There's a lot of hatred out there for people like me. I already have terrible anxiety as it is.

For the most part, I have spent my entire life hiding this.
 
Old 05-11-2012, 05:23 PM
 
Location: St. Louis
9,966 posts, read 17,876,533 times
Reputation: 14272
Quote:
Originally Posted by dragonborn View Post
I don't know anyone who would be prepared to do that....are you offering LOL?

Until I am ready to open pandora's box, I am not sure if that would help or hinder. It has to be something more permanent but gradual. There's a lot of hatred out there for people like me. I already have terrible anxiety as it is.

For the most part, I have spent my entire life hiding this.
I'm not arguing with you b/c I have not dealt with this, but are you sure there is a lot of hatred for people like you or are you projecting b/c you have been so busy hiding that you've never actually come out periodically to test the winds? I'm not minimizing your experience and you may be right, but no one that I know of was hateful on here and even if they were, did it actually hurt you? If you were to go to a different city for a day, I believe that no one would be the wiser anyway. I've probably passed many people on the street who were dressed as a member of the "opposite" sex and never even knew it.

And yes Dragon, if it could be arranged, I would be willing to hang out with you. I have no idea where you are, and if it couldn't be, I'm willing to bet that this is something a support group would help you with and I'm also willing to bet that it's something they encourage you to do, but I doubt that they would force it on you. I think it would be one of those "when you're ready" kind of things.

You do realize that you have taken an enormous step here don't you? You have made that first move and confided in a whole group of people, and rather unanonymously at that and I hope it wasn't too bad. I hope that this will encourage you to keep exploring these issues with yourself.
 
Old 05-11-2012, 08:02 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
18,249 posts, read 18,848,892 times
Reputation: 45508
Quote:
Originally Posted by stepka View Post
I'm not arguing with you b/c I have not dealt with this, but are you sure there is a lot of hatred for people like you or are you projecting b/c you have been so busy hiding that you've never actually come out periodically to test the winds? I'm not minimizing your experience and you may be right, but no one that I know of was hateful on here and even if they were, did it actually hurt you? If you were to go to a different city for a day, I believe that no one would be the wiser anyway. I've probably passed many people on the street who were dressed as a member of the "opposite" sex and never even knew it.

And yes Dragon, if it could be arranged, I would be willing to hang out with you. I have no idea where you are, and if it couldn't be, I'm willing to bet that this is something a support group would help you with and I'm also willing to bet that it's something they encourage you to do, but I doubt that they would force it on you. I think it would be one of those "when you're ready" kind of things.

You do realize that you have taken an enormous step here don't you? You have made that first move and confided in a whole group of people, and rather unanonymously at that and I hope it wasn't too bad. I hope that this will encourage you to keep exploring these issues with yourself.
Dragonborn, If you are anywhere near the Milwaukee area I would be happy to meet with you. Just DM me. My daughter lives in Minneapolis and has many friends in the GBLT community in that area. Again, just DM me and I will put you in touch with her.

Hang in there. We are rooting for you!

Last edited by germaine2626; 05-11-2012 at 08:58 PM..
 
Old 05-11-2012, 08:22 PM
 
Location: Purgatory
2,663 posts, read 4,677,898 times
Reputation: 3054
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
Dragonborn, If you are anywhere near the Milwaukee area I would have happy to meet with you. Just DM me. My daughter lives in Minneapolis and has many friends in the GBLT community in that area. Again, just DM me and I will put you in touch with her.

Hang in there. We are rooting for you!
Thanks

I am going to go for gender reassignment! Baby steps though, but I'm going for it. At least maybe I'll get to enjoy my mid-late 30's and 40's as I was meant to. Can't wait to start buying shoes ))
 
Old 05-11-2012, 09:12 PM
 
Location: On the sunny side of a mountain
3,291 posts, read 7,415,762 times
Reputation: 6980
This is an old article but I believe Trinidad, Colorado is still considered the sex change capital of the US.
The Sex Change Capital of The U.S. - CBS News They may have some good resources to help plan your reassignment.

As far as buying shoes goes, it's a slippery slope. Then you need handbags to match, earrings, necklaces, bracelets, belts... be sure you have a large closet.
 
Old 05-11-2012, 09:22 PM
 
Location: Islip,NY
17,488 posts, read 21,879,335 times
Reputation: 18417
Quote:
Originally Posted by dragonborn View Post
Thanks

I am going to go for gender reassignment! Baby steps though, but I'm going for it. At least maybe I'll get to enjoy my mid-late 30's and 40's as I was meant to. Can't wait to start buying shoes ))
I know you will happy once you have your gender reassignment. Good Luck to you.We all have to do what makes us truly happy in life.
 
Old 05-12-2012, 09:41 AM
Status: "Disoriented" (set 19 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
61,065 posts, read 58,320,355 times
Reputation: 73117
Quote:
Originally Posted by dragonborn View Post
Thanks

I am going to go for gender reassignment! Baby steps though, but I'm going for it. At least maybe I'll get to enjoy my mid-late 30's and 40's as I was meant to. Can't wait to start buying shoes ))
Good for you, dragonborn. Baby steps are definitely the way to go with most Big Life Changes.
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