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Old 05-18-2012, 07:29 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,712 posts, read 10,312,076 times
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Does anyone else with mental health issues get invited to social events but then never go? I mean weddings, parties, etc. Do you ever feel guilty or do people ever make you feel guilty for saying no to these things?

I been invited to two events this month, but cannot bring myself to go. I don't socialize and don't "get" why people push for me and others to do these types of things. In a weird way, it all just make me even more depressed. Also, if you haven't been doing these things for a long time (like months or years) it seem like it's not worth getting back into all of it again and adjusting to it.

Last edited by Doll Eyes; 05-18-2012 at 07:39 PM..
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Old 05-18-2012, 07:35 PM
 
Location: Purgatory
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Yeah....I always chicken out at the last minute and invent some weird scenario as an excuse. I can never say no at the time and end up just not showing. It's lost me a lot of friends in the past.
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Old 05-18-2012, 07:38 PM
 
Location: Love, Epicenter
399 posts, read 523,008 times
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I don't really have any mental health issues at the moment...but I haven't been going to social events in a while. I just don't feel it, you know? I use to force myself to go because my then college and high school friends would complain that I wasn't hanging with them or being antisocial but I just feel a strong desire to do other things. I see it as it is as it is.

Im liking my life and even though I've been going through a rough patch, I dont feel guilty about not hanging out anymore. Just want to keep moving forward.
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Old 05-19-2012, 01:17 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
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they always say you have to 'force yourself to go' I don't see how that is a solution, forcing yourself to do anything beside drinking water and eating vegetables. those you can actually offer up a reason why not doing them will cause bodily harm.
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Old 05-19-2012, 01:23 PM
 
Location: Love, Epicenter
399 posts, read 523,008 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
they always say you have to 'force yourself to go' I don't see how that is a solution, forcing yourself to do anything beside drinking water and eating vegetables. those you can actually offer up a reason why not doing them will cause bodily harm.
Well, I guess I kinda agree with that force yourself to go thing too...I've found that there were moments when I did go that I really enjoyed myself and it helped lift my spirits because I was with people and that forces me to come outside of myself and my thoughts. Sometimes we can be so down and it's not necessarily that we don't want to go, it's just that we don't feel like we have the energy to loft ourselves up, or we're scared of what could happen of we do...but hey, do what feels right for you, you know?
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Old 05-19-2012, 01:47 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
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Originally Posted by PrinieRN View Post
Well, I guess I kinda agree with that force yourself to go thing too...I've found that there were moments when I did go that I really enjoyed myself and it helped lift my spirits because I was with people and that forces me to come outside of myself and my thoughts. Sometimes we can be so down and it's not necessarily that we don't want to go, it's just that we don't feel like we have the energy to loft ourselves up, or we're scared of what could happen of we do...but hey, do what feels right for you, you know?

do you goes to therapy, prinie? do your therapist try to make you do things you don't want to do and then you end up feeling like sh*t and want to quit the whole damn thing? I get tired of her saying it's 'unhealthy' but what is the proof of this??
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Old 05-19-2012, 03:07 PM
 
Location: Love, Epicenter
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Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
do you goes to therapy, prinie? do your therapist try to make you do things you don't want to do and then you end up feeling like sh*t and want to quit the whole damn thing? I get tired of her saying it's 'unhealthy' but what is the proof of this??
I hope I didn't make you angry.

I use to go to therapy, yeah. When my depression was really bad and I felt like I was on a rollercoaster ride between highs and lows. And again when I started having panic attacks and wanted some additional insight...

What exactly isn't healthy? Not interacting with others? I don't know. What are the effects of solitary confinement?

I feel that we as humans have a need to interact. There's people who join forums who say they're suicidal and that they've given up on the world but they still post on forums and respond to those who post to them so that says something. Also, when I was in the psych ward, there were patients who were there who were depressed unto the point of suicide, and they were encouraged to attend meetings. They'd go if they developed the will and they'd come and sit next to me with their arms folded. That's a sign to me that even though they felt really insecure and was guarding, they still wanted some kind of closeness.

You and I both start threads looking for others like us or who are going through what we're going through and that says something. But I don't know if your therapist was saying that you not going to parties and clubs was unhealthy or if she meant that not interacting with anyone ever was unhealthy. I don't think not going to parties and clubs is unhealthy. I prefer a more calm and laid-back setting with one on one conversation that goes deep or doing something together for a common purpose of sorts.

Last edited by soliloquyenlightened; 05-19-2012 at 03:12 PM.. Reason: Adding stuff. Thank God I'm typing :D
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Old 05-19-2012, 05:47 PM
 
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After a while they will stop asking, been a few years for me now and I"m fine with it. Be ready for solitude

Be careful you will become a hermit
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Old 05-19-2012, 09:10 PM
 
Location: FL
1,727 posts, read 2,246,661 times
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I guess it just depends on what you want out of life. If on some level you want things to change, then sometimes you do have to force yourself to do things. On the other hand, if you are content with not being sociable, then there is no need to force yourself.

On person's "unhealthy" is another persons comfort zone. I'm not sure where that line is between healthy and unhealty. I do know that sometimes people still have the tendency to lable "different" as abnormal or unhealthy, when in fact it's just different.
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Old 05-19-2012, 09:38 PM
 
Location: Sloooowcala Florida
1,393 posts, read 2,735,786 times
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I am suffering from a severe depression right now and am on meds but still depressed. I try to get out anyway. I force myself, but if I don't go somewhere I don't worry about it, and the people I didn't go out with usually don't seem to care anyway if I go or not. At least, they have yet to say anything to me about it.
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