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Old 06-07-2012, 04:19 PM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,118 posts, read 8,703,734 times
Reputation: 11671

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Quote:
Originally Posted by L'Artiste View Post
don't know don't care leave me alone
I think.... this smiley is appropriate for this reply. Your life. Your fault if it sucks. Have a fantastic day!!
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Old 06-07-2012, 04:26 PM
 
Location: Purgatory
2,663 posts, read 4,677,281 times
Reputation: 3054
Quote:
Originally Posted by strawberrykiki View Post
I think.... this smiley is appropriate for this reply. Your life. Your fault if it sucks. Have a fantastic day!!
This is a mental health forum. There are a lot of unhappy, depressed, anxious and lonely people out there. It is not always their fault that they're down or in sucky situations, so I think the best thing is to avoid adding fuel to the fire and kicking people who are already down. It's best to not say anything at all if you cannot be supportive.
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Old 06-07-2012, 10:21 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
102 posts, read 286,446 times
Reputation: 221
I don't know what kind of mental issues you have, but it sounds like you're almost making excuses. I've had friends who did this before. They were jealous because I was doing in well in life, and I would say, "well you could do just as well if you would work hard like me." In reply, they would say things like, "my anxiety just won't let me," or, "I'm too poor to do anything," or, "I don't want to put in all that hard work," or, "my boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't want me to do that," or, "that would be too hard." The list of excuses goes on and on.

My point is this: I'm a national honor society nursing student with a good job, and very good prospects of being hired as an RN as soon as I graduate school. I've worked hard all my life, and it's finally paying off. It wasn't easy, but I didn't make excuses, I didn't let myself get off track, and I didn't feed into any kind of self-pity. I sucked it up, dealt with the hard times, learned from my mistakes, and moved on with my life.
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Old 06-07-2012, 10:42 PM
 
Location: where people are either too stupid to leave or too stuck to move
3,986 posts, read 5,909,860 times
Reputation: 3645
Quote:
Originally Posted by strawberrykiki View Post
I think.... this smiley is appropriate for this reply. Your life. Your fault if it sucks. Have a fantastic day!!
good for you.. want a treat?
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Old 06-08-2012, 12:28 AM
 
18,847 posts, read 32,750,558 times
Reputation: 26181
Quote:
Originally Posted by dragonborn View Post
This is a mental health forum. There are a lot of unhappy, depressed, anxious and lonely people out there. It is not always their fault that they're down or in sucky situations, so I think the best thing is to avoid adding fuel to the fire and kicking people who are already down. It's best to not say anything at all if you cannot be supportive.
I disagree. Sometimes blunt truth is raw, but valid. I knew this guy who said he was "too depressed" to work. Yeah...easy to say when you can sponge off your parents. I could say that too....but no one will give me a car or a place to live...so I better suck it up and go to work. Anyway, I was sick of his whinney $hit...and told him...and he stopped talking to me. Whatever. No loss.

So...people have choices in their life. And whining about how bad you have it is not going to change anything. Some people like to be in "victim" mode. Change your life or not. No one else cares.
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Old 06-08-2012, 03:15 AM
 
Location: Tha 6th Bourough
3,633 posts, read 5,160,869 times
Reputation: 1754
Quote:
Originally Posted by strawberrykiki View Post
Why are you stuck at home? If you're staying at home feeling sorry for yourself everyday instead of getting out there then no wonder your friends are being successful and you aren't.
I hate responses like this. You can't judge what another person has done to get to a better place in thier lives based on thier feelings about where they are currently. We have no idea what this person really struggled with. Sometimes the cards just don't fall in your favor in life. Expressing a feeling isn't wallowing, it's simply explaining how experiences have affected u. Who's to say what they are doing in life currently? For all u know they may be headed towards positive things, but feeling the pains of past defeats as they read this post. You really don't know the case till u see the facts.
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Old 06-08-2012, 03:29 AM
 
Location: Tha 6th Bourough
3,633 posts, read 5,160,869 times
Reputation: 1754
Quote:
Originally Posted by strawberrykiki View Post
From your own post you're a loser stuck at home. This is the internet. What am I supposed to assume from those words except that you are a loser who stays at home...i.e. you sit around instead of working to make things better for yourself?
You're supposed to be smart enough to 'assume' a persons whole life can't just be summed up in a sentence like the one u just judged. Who would honestly think what they said defines their whole entire situation for this year, let alone thier whole life span? With your logic I would assume you assumed you knew this person's life based on a sentence because your life experience is simple as a sentence. If I'm wrong about you by saying that, then assume other people are also not to be defined by an emotion or simple sentence over the internet. Life is more complicated than words can explain sometimes.
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Old 06-08-2012, 03:40 AM
 
Location: Purgatory
2,663 posts, read 4,677,281 times
Reputation: 3054
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
I disagree. Sometimes blunt truth is raw, but valid. I knew this guy who said he was "too depressed" to work. Yeah...easy to say when you can sponge off your parents. I could say that too....but no one will give me a car or a place to live...so I better suck it up and go to work. Anyway, I was sick of his whinney $hit...and told him...and he stopped talking to me. Whatever. No loss.

So...people have choices in their life. And whining about how bad you have it is not going to change anything. Some people like to be in "victim" mode. Change your life or not. No one else cares.
How can you judge by just a couple of posts on an online forum? It's not like you know the person in question or what set of circumstances put him there, or whether mental illness is to blame. You cannot just assume that the person is just whining and making excuses. You do not walk in their shoes and clearly, you lack the ability to at least show a bit of empathy.

Not everyone can just pull themselves up by non-existent bootstraps. I wish people would stop being so damn judgmental. Some of the snide little comments people make could be enough of a catalyst to push someone vulnerable over the edge.
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Old 06-08-2012, 03:53 AM
 
1,463 posts, read 2,846,141 times
Reputation: 2823
Quote:
Originally Posted by VX5650 View Post
Is anyone else going through this? I feel so alone right now.
Due to bad luck/no luck and some metal health issues I haven't gotten very far in my life. Pretty much everything has been a failure or has come to nothing. What makes this worse is that I'm constantly surrounded by people who seem to "have it all." Good relationships, good jobs, good health, good mental health, good friends, etc. It seems so easy for these people. Not saying that life hasn't handed these people some hard times but in the end everything seems to work out and they usually come out in an even BETTER situation. They are always trading up while I just stay at zero.
I know we aren't supposed to compare ourselves to other people but when other people's "riches" are thrown in your face daily it's kind of hard not to notice. All of this leaves me feeling very depressed and like I don't know what to do or try next. I feel totally lost in life.
I'm interested in hearing from other's going through this same thing. Am I the only one feeling like this?
Are you seeing a doctor for your depression? If not, I think perhaps it would be a good idea. You have to be willing to work towards making things better and it sounds to me like you are totally stuck in one place right now. If you sit back and watch other people succeed and feel bad about it, you will never work your way out of this "funk" you are in. Life isn't smooth all the time for everyone, including those people you are watching and "assuming" that they have no issues. Everyone has issues at one time or another and for you to think you are all alone in the middle of the mud, stuck with no one tossing you a lifeline is wrong. You will stay in the mud until you do holler for HELP and do it soon.
About 3 years ago, I use to have a dear, dear friend who would text me, call me, send me email and I.M. me. For some reason she decided that I am a rich snob??? Not even close to true. She lives in Northern Maine and struggles financially. I use to live there but divorced and moved back home to Connecticut. I met and married a very successful businessman who is also 10 years younger than me. We bought a beautiful home..and why shouldn't we? I still called her, and texted her, email, etc. She decided that I was now a snob. Very hurtful and cruel. You cannot assume that people are breezing right by you and don't care about you just because of their stations in life. Its not fair.
Have I had issues?? You betcha. I have been married 3 times..first one was a total jerk..booze, women, drugs and took off on me and his son. Second one died..heart attack. Am now married to the perfect guy. I have had surgery for suspected ovarian cancer, and recently had surgery for an upper aortic aneurysm. 2 years ago, my 40 year old son had a stroke..he is ok. I have lost both parents and my father in law...see what I mean??
Do yourself a favor; go see someone for your depression and perhaps your life will turn around. You have to want it to and it does take work. You are not going to get that bed of roses you are looking for unless you do the work. Good Luck...
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Old 06-08-2012, 10:34 AM
 
Location: Cushing OK
14,545 posts, read 18,219,558 times
Reputation: 16829
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39 View Post
OMG, talk about being left behind! When the recession started, that was the beginning of the end for my career. Then my wife left. In the community where I live I've seen people meet, date, get married, have children, move up in their careers while I struggle to hold onto a house I hate (the house I was married in), continuously look for a job, and wonder if life has completely passed me by. I'm 43, no kids, divorced, and almost no hope at this point. Yeah, I know how it feels.
That happened to me in the 80's. Right out of high school, actually during the last semester of high school, I got very ill. I was sick for seven years. I tried college but it wasn't possible most of the time. I went back after surgery finally ended the sickness. I had wanted to get my BA in history so badly, but it was seven years later, so I took something to get a job and discovered programming.

I had one good job. The recession then made the company do a big mistake and fire or 'layoff' most of the already established people for temps. Then they had to call back in the senior programmers as contractors since they still needed them, oops. But alas not the level I was. I looked for over a year and was told my experience by then was too little and too old...

Tried temp, and other things. I'm awful at phones. I'm not good at all with public contact. I finally ended up getting married and we had a home business. I did work as a programmer for a short time inbetween, but my dad got sick and I was gone a month and they laid me off. But I had power of attorney and had to be there so ....

I think of all the crap that's come down in my life, including how the marriage dissolved in murky water, and wonder why me. But after I went homeless I learned something. I don't have much now, but its mine, and I enjoy it. I don't buy for 'status', or because I 'must'. I live my life and take joy in all the beauty and wonder you can find if you look.

If it had been a different time, and I hadn't lost the job? I would have stayed if they got rid of the non productive people. I choose to take pride that my system I designed was still running twenty years later without needing maintaince. If I'd stayed, life would be different. But there would have been much I'd consider a loss.

I think in the end if we look for the rainbow we find it. That history degree? I never stopped studying it and didn't need to pay student fees. Until I can't put two words together I'll still study it. It would still be fun to 'get the degree' but mostly to be among other history addicts.
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