U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Covid-19 Information Page
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Health and Wellness > Mental Health
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
 
Old 06-08-2012, 12:18 PM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,118 posts, read 8,700,474 times
Reputation: 11671

Advertisements

I did say something supportive and something positive and I got a snarky reply in return. I've been depressed and I have mental illness in my family. But my advice is still the same. If your life sucks and you're unhappy and you choose to do nothing about it, then yes, it is YOUR fault. If you feel left behind while everyone else around you it is becomming successful then you should do something about it. Seek out a mental health professional. Someone who is qualified to listen and offer insight, someone who can offer medication if that's what is needed. I know people who have been depressed for years. It's one thing to listen and offer support, but that gets old when the person continues to whine without actually doing anything to improve their situation.

Life is tougher for some than others, but we all have power over our own lives. I'm sorry if my suck it up and help yourself attitude bothers people here. I honestly believe sometimes that is what people need to hear. Some people post here for support, but others post here just to whine and they want everyone to agree with them how much their life sucks and how justified they are to sit around complaining everyday. I hope the OP does something to improve his life. Life is too short to sit around being miserable when there are ways to make things better.
Quick reply to this message

 
Old 06-08-2012, 12:32 PM
 
Location: Dallas TX
15,424 posts, read 22,657,874 times
Reputation: 23536
I think the older I get the more frustrated I am. I look back at my mistakes and think DOH!

At the same time I have friends that truly don't have it all, but are able to look at the good in everything. They brush off the bad things and only focus on the good. They are much happier.

This is what I aim for, but will never get there, sadly my brain just doesn't work that way, even though I keep trying!!!
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-08-2012, 12:53 PM
 
Location: Tha 6th Bourough
3,633 posts, read 5,159,580 times
Reputation: 1754
I don't think the OP is whining. I think he/she is venting which is a step towards overcoming the problems. If u never vent and just keep moving forward without success eventually you will explode kinda like a pipe with too much water pressure. I can understand where the OP is coming from. The people that have a million dollars are the ones who spend it in front of the people who go without and these millionaires seem not to open doors for people around them as they look down on the poor and say the poor are losers because they havent achieved the millionaire status like everyone else. This is a metaphor for the way people in American society are. They question why u havent gotten to a certain stage in life like them, but they dont take time to realize we all dont start at the same place in life and we all arent supposed to reach the same levels either. I get tired of being 34 and not having kids, wife, stability, but that feeling of disapointment isnt totally from my core, it comes from mainly soociety/people in my path having these things and judging me with snarky/joking remarks for not yet having these things. Of coarse I want them, and I have goals, but maybe my goals have been sidetracked by more obstacles than these people had to deal with. It doesnt bother me to not have, as much as it bothers me to have people telling me I have failed because I dont have what they have or because they judge me for not reaching my goals yet. It's all in God's timing. Stop believing what society throws at you each day.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-08-2012, 01:06 PM
 
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
5,364 posts, read 4,725,774 times
Reputation: 6561
Quote:
Originally Posted by RazorRob305 View Post
I don't think the OP is whining. I think he/she is venting which is a step towards overcoming the problems. If u never vent and just keep moving forward without success eventually you will explode kinda like a pipe with too much water pressure. I can understand where the OP is coming from. The people that have a million dollars are the ones who spend it in front of the people who go without and these millionaires seem not to open doors for people around them as they look down on the poor and say the poor are losers because they havent achieved the millionaire status like everyone else. This is a metaphor for the way people in American society are. They question why u havent gotten to a certain stage in life like them, but they dont take time to realize we all dont start at the same place in life and we all arent supposed to reach the same levels either. I get tired of being 34 and not having kids, wife, stability, but that feeling of disapointment isnt totally from my core, it comes from mainly soociety/people in my path having these things and judging me with snarky/joking remarks for not yet having these things. Of coarse I want them, and I have goals, but maybe my goals have been sidetracked by more obstacles than these people had to deal with. It doesnt bother me to not have, as much as it bothers me to have people telling me I have failed because I dont have what they have or because they judge me for not reaching my goals yet. It's all in God's timing. Stop believing what society throws at you each day.
I try and try and try to believe that "God" wants the best for me and its all in his timing. But I've started to think his timing could be never. Some people succeed and others fail in life. I'm on the wrong side of the equation. We all aren't supposed to reach the same levels? If we've busted out a*s and become educated, we should be able to achieve whatever we want. In reality, it just doesn't work.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-08-2012, 01:23 PM
 
Location: Tha 6th Bourough
3,633 posts, read 5,159,580 times
Reputation: 1754
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39 View Post
I try and try and try to believe that "God" wants the best for me and its all in his timing. But I've started to think his timing could be never. Some people succeed and others fail in life. I'm on the wrong side of the equation. We all aren't supposed to reach the same levels? If we've busted out a*s and become educated, we should be able to achieve whatever we want. In reality, it just doesn't work.
That's kinda what I meant by all in God's timing because nobody is entitled to gain anything or be at a certain level in life. Sometimes God has other plans for us then to achieve what others achieve around us. That's why it's best to adapt to living each day counting the positives and blessings we have each day instead of falling in the ways and beliefs of society that lead to jealousy and envy. Society constantly says we are succesful when ________(fill in the blank) but truth is success is different for different people. The problem is most people who follow the ways of society look at people who don't and call us failures and joke on us because we have not achieved what 'success' is to them. Gotta shut out those people and thier thoughts/judgements to move on sometimes. It's tough when each day we are bombarded with those kinds of mentalities.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-08-2012, 01:28 PM
 
Location: Vermont
4 posts, read 7,292 times
Reputation: 35
It's these kind of "stop whining- suck it up and do something" posters that drive me to the point of homicidal rage. Have some empathy for those not strong enough to even get to the first step of what those are preaching to the OP. "Fix your life or not-Nobody Cares" huh? Right on, starts with those kind of people and all of the other self-proclaimed 'pull-up your bootstraps' right-wing nut ideologs who think the poor, sick and destitute are a result of their own doing. I'd like to see those say it to those in that position face-to-face instead of trolling behind a keyboard. Life is more challenging for some than others!
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-08-2012, 02:31 PM
 
Location: Purgatory
2,663 posts, read 4,675,815 times
Reputation: 3054
Quote:
Originally Posted by strawberrykiki View Post
I did say something supportive and something positive and I got a snarky reply in return. I've been depressed and I have mental illness in my family. But my advice is still the same. If your life sucks and you're unhappy and you choose to do nothing about it, then yes, it is YOUR fault. If you feel left behind while everyone else around you it is becomming successful then you should do something about it. Seek out a mental health professional. Someone who is qualified to listen and offer insight, someone who can offer medication if that's what is needed. I know people who have been depressed for years. It's one thing to listen and offer support, but that gets old when the person continues to whine without actually doing anything to improve their situation.

Life is tougher for some than others, but we all have power over our own lives. I'm sorry if my suck it up and help yourself attitude bothers people here. I honestly believe sometimes that is what people need to hear. Some people post here for support, but others post here just to whine and they want everyone to agree with them how much their life sucks and how justified they are to sit around complaining everyday. I hope the OP does something to improve his life. Life is too short to sit around being miserable when there are ways to make things better.
There's a quote from a favourite film of mine; it goes something like this:

"Get busy living or get busy dying"

I am doing my best to live by this, as tough as it is. I don't have health insurance right now, but I will see a professional as soon as I can, since I'm starting work again soon. There are days when I feel like the OP, there are days when I contemplate suicide. I am trying though, especially trying not to wallow in it and allow it to completely consume me.

The problem with "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" is that many people never had any bootstraps to pull themselves up by in the first place. All the self-help crap often doesn't really fly. Some people have tried all avenues and have still ended up in a dead end. It's not always their fault, unless they purposely choose to engage in self-destructive behaviour.

People come to mental health forums for a bit of support and validation, or to relate to others going through similar issues. They don't need to be blamed. I don't see anything wrong with the OP or others who just came here to vent and to share. Maybe like me, they don't have health insurance or their health insurance doesn't cover mental health.

Don't judge - that's all I'm asking.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-08-2012, 11:57 PM
 
18,847 posts, read 32,738,663 times
Reputation: 26181
It is true, that the times you need mental health treatment and medication, are the times when you have no health insurance. I remember when I was unemployed, and divorced. I just sat in jammies all day. I needed meds, or sometihing to get my life going. Well, the "something" was if I did not get it together, I was going to be in a homeless shelter...that was the "incentive" to get it together. Maybe, those of us who have been there, are a bit harsh. Because we know, that the pity party is not going to help you. No judging, that is for sure. Life can be going along, and then...bam...like a freight train, the whole thing can crash. And you just look at the mess...**** happens. You have to just get off the sofa, and care about your life.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-09-2012, 04:29 PM
 
57 posts, read 41,319 times
Reputation: 51
the most successful people in life and generally the ones who don't care about what others think. and nice people generally don't finish at all. it's a sad truth. i'm sure that's the problem with some of you. you probably are nice and care about others and it really doesn't get you anywhere.

i don't think you all are missing much, anyway. i find most people to be liars and have ulterior motives. most people get divorced and i find that i can't trust "friends".
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-09-2012, 09:05 PM
 
Location: Purgatory
2,663 posts, read 4,675,815 times
Reputation: 3054
Quote:
Originally Posted by KendaleMiami View Post
the most successful people in life and generally the ones who don't care about what others think. and nice people generally don't finish at all. it's a sad truth. i'm sure that's the problem with some of you. you probably are nice and care about others and it really doesn't get you anywhere.

i don't think you all are missing much, anyway. i find most people to be liars and have ulterior motives. most people get divorced and i find that i can't trust "friends".
Thank you for outlining one of the main reasons why I plan on getting out. Thank you.
Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


 
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:
Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Health and Wellness > Mental Health
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2020, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top