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Old 06-09-2012, 10:57 PM
 
Location: Cushing OK
14,545 posts, read 18,213,296 times
Reputation: 16829

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Quote:
Originally Posted by KendaleMiami View Post
the most successful people in life and generally the ones who don't care about what others think. and nice people generally don't finish at all. it's a sad truth. i'm sure that's the problem with some of you. you probably are nice and care about others and it really doesn't get you anywhere.

i don't think you all are missing much, anyway. i find most people to be liars and have ulterior motives. most people get divorced and i find that i can't trust "friends".
But its possible to be 'nice' as in not be mean but also not care what people think about you since you are you and its none of their business. If you don't care what people think but are true to yourself it does not mean you are going to a mean rotten person either. They are independent choices. And your own measure of 'success' is what you choose it to be. If you make it simply a life which makes your modest needs fufilled, even if you look 'poor' to the average competitor, its still one that qualifies as 'success' since its an individual goal.

Last edited by nightbird47; 06-09-2012 at 11:09 PM..
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Old 06-09-2012, 10:59 PM
 
Location: southern california
57,831 posts, read 76,785,039 times
Reputation: 51153
most of my perceived failure was from watching them too much and not watching what i was doing.
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Old 06-10-2012, 12:03 AM
 
Location: On the edge of the universe
994 posts, read 1,396,507 times
Reputation: 1426
Quote:
Originally Posted by VX5650 View Post
Is anyone else going through this? I feel so alone right now.
Due to bad luck/no luck and some metal health issues I haven't gotten very far in my life. Pretty much everything has been a failure or has come to nothing. What makes this worse is that I'm constantly surrounded by people who seem to "have it all." Good relationships, good jobs, good health, good mental health, good friends, etc. It seems so easy for these people. Not saying that life hasn't handed these people some hard times but in the end everything seems to work out and they usually come out in an even BETTER situation. They are always trading up while I just stay at zero.
I know we aren't supposed to compare ourselves to other people but when other people's "riches" are thrown in your face daily it's kind of hard not to notice. All of this leaves me feeling very depressed and like I don't know what to do or try next. I feel totally lost in life.
I'm interested in hearing from other's going through this same thing. Am I the only one feeling like this?
I wanted to respond to this post because I am in sort of a similar post. However, I want to tell you of a dream I had many years ago when I was in high school:

"I was in high school and it was during one of those pep rallies. I remember being a loser kid sitting in the front row and watching all of the cheerleaders dance and sing the school anthem. I remember being alone while all the kids were having fun, talking with each other, and so forth. In real life I was basically a no-name loner in this time of my life. As the pep rally went on, however, the whole auditorium began to get a shade darker. This continued for a while and a few people noticed it with me. It got very dark, and now people were panicing. I could hear demonic voices and sounds coming from the walls and the floors and I got up and walked out onto the gym floor where the cheerleaders were. They were scampering around in a panic like everyone else. Then these demonic wispy figures started coming out of the walls and the floor. They started flying through the kids in the auditorium and I think the demonic figures were possessing them or suffocating them since the kids would either fall to the ground or start acting like they were having a seizure. The demons tried to pass through me but either faded away before touching me or were somehow reflected around me. (I remember one in particular that looked like a flaming skull come right at me. THat was a scary one!) Pretty soon the demonic figures were circling around me and all of a sudden a bright light opened up above me in the ceiling. That light turned into a pillar of light around me and it widened. As it widened, the demonic figures retreated like they were being burned and I changed into a cheerleader myself. It was a real happy feeling, like being reborn in a way. I saw blue skies and clouds all around me and it felt so peaceful. I think a sword fell from the sky and I caught it. I looked at it and that's when I woke up."

This dream may seem irrelevant, but I remember that dream from 16 years ago. That dream taught me that while a person may be down on their luck now, that does not make it so forever. Not trying to be wierd, but I thought I would share that here since I never told anyone about it before.

In closing, I want to quote Zephram Cochran from the Star Trek series. He has a quote that I try to live by, paraphrased:

"Don't try to be a great man, just be a man. Let history make its own judgments."

You are not alone. And someday might be very different than today...
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Old 06-16-2012, 10:50 PM
 
Location: Eugenius
593 posts, read 1,269,739 times
Reputation: 580
That is a very interesting dream, FireandIce1000, prophetic and symbolic in many ways.

I have also been thinking lately how stuck I am while everyone else is progressing into that next phase of adulthood. It's not jealousy of their lives, I never really subscribed to all that keeping up with the Jones' BS, but maybe that's my problem. My peers are all having kids and in relationships or getting married, their careers are in full-swing, they have lives. Me, on the other hand, I am 34 and I'm looking to rent a room from somebody and living with roommates again. I have a $175k medical bill that keeps me living on the downlow, unable to find a job that pays the bills and gets me an apartment, so I'm stuck where I am paying outrageously high rent, but unable to find another place and the money I had built up to buy a house or start a business is quickly draining away. It's hard to find people wanting to live with a 34 year old as a roommate, they just assume I'm a weirdo and they find a reason to deny me or the place just isn't a good match for me. There's an unspoken rule that if you are over 30 you shouldn't be living with roommates any more. I feel like such a failure.
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Old 06-16-2012, 11:58 PM
 
Location: earth?
7,288 posts, read 11,235,592 times
Reputation: 8956
Quote:
Originally Posted by fireandice1000 View Post
I wanted to respond to this post because I am in sort of a similar post. However, I want to tell you of a dream I had many years ago when I was in high school:

"I was in high school and it was during one of those pep rallies. I remember being a loser kid sitting in the front row and watching all of the cheerleaders dance and sing the school anthem. I remember being alone while all the kids were having fun, talking with each other, and so forth. In real life I was basically a no-name loner in this time of my life. As the pep rally went on, however, the whole auditorium began to get a shade darker. This continued for a while and a few people noticed it with me. It got very dark, and now people were panicing. I could hear demonic voices and sounds coming from the walls and the floors and I got up and walked out onto the gym floor where the cheerleaders were. They were scampering around in a panic like everyone else. Then these demonic wispy figures started coming out of the walls and the floor. They started flying through the kids in the auditorium and I think the demonic figures were possessing them or suffocating them since the kids would either fall to the ground or start acting like they were having a seizure. The demons tried to pass through me but either faded away before touching me or were somehow reflected around me. (I remember one in particular that looked like a flaming skull come right at me. THat was a scary one!) Pretty soon the demonic figures were circling around me and all of a sudden a bright light opened up above me in the ceiling. That light turned into a pillar of light around me and it widened. As it widened, the demonic figures retreated like they were being burned and I changed into a cheerleader myself. It was a real happy feeling, like being reborn in a way. I saw blue skies and clouds all around me and it felt so peaceful. I think a sword fell from the sky and I caught it. I looked at it and that's when I woke up."

This dream may seem irrelevant, but I remember that dream from 16 years ago. That dream taught me that while a person may be down on their luck now, that does not make it so forever. Not trying to be wierd, but I thought I would share that here since I never told anyone about it before.

In closing, I want to quote Zephram Cochran from the Star Trek series. He has a quote that I try to live by, paraphrased:

"Don't try to be a great man, just be a man. Let history make its own judgments."

You are not alone. And someday might be very different than today...
Sounds like a bad acid trip.
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Old 06-17-2012, 06:55 AM
 
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
5,364 posts, read 4,726,735 times
Reputation: 6561
Quote:
Originally Posted by scratchNsniff View Post
That is a very interesting dream, FireandIce1000, prophetic and symbolic in many ways.

I have also been thinking lately how stuck I am while everyone else is progressing into that next phase of adulthood. It's not jealousy of their lives, I never really subscribed to all that keeping up with the Jones' BS, but maybe that's my problem. My peers are all having kids and in relationships or getting married, their careers are in full-swing, they have lives. Me, on the other hand, I am 34 and I'm looking to rent a room from somebody and living with roommates again. I have a $175k medical bill that keeps me living on the downlow, unable to find a job that pays the bills and gets me an apartment, so I'm stuck where I am paying outrageously high rent, but unable to find another place and the money I had built up to buy a house or start a business is quickly draining away. It's hard to find people wanting to live with a 34 year old as a roommate, they just assume I'm a weirdo and they find a reason to deny me or the place just isn't a good match for me. There's an unspoken rule that if you are over 30 you shouldn't be living with roommates any more. I feel like such a failure.
You are not alone. I'm 43, and have had a roommate for years. Recently found a new one who is going through a divorce at 57. My career is in the toilet and others are having successful careers and starting families. And by the way, they're 10 years younger. Additionally, I see this all the time because I'm stuck in the community I lived in when I was married. Can't sell the townhouse. So yeah, talk about feeling like a loser. I totally get it.
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Old 06-22-2012, 10:56 PM
 
260 posts, read 399,673 times
Reputation: 479
I always feel the happiest and most content when I am not comparing myself to anyone else.
I can do this if things are not 'in my face', hence why I don't use facebook or anything like that.
I find it quite hard being at work and hearing about co workers lives as often they are more exciting or full than my own and I definitely do get jealous at times.
Just remember though that everyone will die, so who cares :-)
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Old 06-23-2012, 03:55 PM
 
59 posts, read 173,715 times
Reputation: 117
I just focus on what I can control and that's my life. What other people do is none of my concern and if they do good, great! It's inspiring to me.
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Old 06-25-2012, 11:27 AM
 
1,370 posts, read 1,876,202 times
Reputation: 1649
Quote:
Originally Posted by dragonborn View Post
How can you judge by just a couple of posts on an online forum? It's not like you know the person in question or what set of circumstances put him there, or whether mental illness is to blame. You cannot just assume that the person is just whining and making excuses. You do not walk in their shoes and clearly, you lack the ability to at least show a bit of empathy.

Not everyone can just pull themselves up by non-existent bootstraps. I wish people would stop being so damn judgmental. Some of the snide little comments people make could be enough of a catalyst to push someone vulnerable over the edge.
Don't listen to Jasper...he is clueless and on a high horse as usual. Can't wait to see life knock him upside the head to show some humility.
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Old 06-25-2012, 07:02 PM
 
Location: Purgatory
2,663 posts, read 4,676,153 times
Reputation: 3054
Stop watching is the solution. Stop giving a sh1t.
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