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Many times I've heard ghosts get trapped in this world after they die from a tragic or unexpected death and some don't know they are dead or don't want to go to the next life. But how complex is this world these ghosts create for themselves? I don't know if I'm really alive. You see, I was recently diagnosed with a mental disorder last year called depersonalization and derealiztion, the official name for this is dissociative disorder not otherwise specified, simply because I have more than depersonalization. There is a problem, I've had derealization 24/7 since at least the age of 13 and I will be 28 soon. Everything I see lacks vividness, clarity, solidness, everything that makes up the visual part of reality, this is not an eye condition, I have a 20/20 vision, it's simply a defense mechanism in my case that I can't control.
I really do see everything dreamlike and I feel like I'm trapped in a dream, and for the symptom of depersonalization I feel like I'm outside my body. When I look in the mirror or anything, my hands, it doesn't look that real, it's like a feeling of being invisible, this is why I say that I might be a ghost. What if I am really dead and I created my own reality so I don't have to face the fact that I'm really dead or remember my own death? This is a possibility. If this is the case for me then I have to figure out how to find the light that can take me to the next life OR maybe that's not what I'm supposed to do, maybe I will leave this world when I remember my own death but I don't know how to do that. It being a mental disorder is a possibility but so is this. It's hard to believe what I'm experiencing is possible. The information that I'm looking for is it possible for ghosts to create their own realities to be this real for them and not know they are dead? Please don't reply " listen to your therapist, it's a mental disorder you have" cause that's what I'm not looking for.
Many times I've heard ghosts get trapped in this world after they die from a tragic or unexpected death and some don't know they are dead or don't want to go to the next life. But how complex is this world these ghosts create for themselves? I don't know if I'm really alive. You see, I was recently diagnosed with a mental disorder last year called depersonalization and derealiztion, the official name for this is dissociative disorder not otherwise specified, simply because I have more than depersonalization. There is a problem, I've had derealization 24/7 since at least the age of 13 and I will be 28 soon. Everything I see lacks vividness, clarity, solidness, everything that makes up the visual part of reality, this is not an eye condition, I have a 20/20 vision, it's simply a defense mechanism in my case that I can't control.
I really do see everything dreamlike and I feel like I'm trapped in a dream, and for the symptom of depersonalization I feel like I'm outside my body. When I look in the mirror or anything, my hands, it doesn't look that real, it's like a feeling of being invisible, this is why I say that I might be a ghost. What if I am really dead and I created my own reality so I don't have to face the fact that I'm really dead or remember my own death? This is a possibility. If this is the case for me then I have to figure out how to find the light that can take me to the next life OR maybe that's not what I'm supposed to do, maybe I will leave this world when I remember my own death but I don't know how to do that. It being a mental disorder is a possibility but so is this. It's hard to believe what I'm experiencing is possible. The information that I'm looking for is it possible for ghosts to create their own realities to be this real for them and not know they are dead? Please don't reply " listen to your therapist, it's a mental disorder you have" cause that's what I'm not looking for.
If you create your own reality why can't you fly or some other special little detail that I would include if I was creating my own world to live in. LOL.
Have you ever considered, aside from the ghost angle, why you would have wound up as a living dead person? What would have happened to you that you are at that midway point? What different thing occurred between ages 12 and 14 that could have pushed you in this fashion? Finding those links, or others who have known you, may help you sort this out, to identify why you live as a ghost in another reality not to your liking.
If you create your own reality why can't you fly or some other special little detail that I would include if I was creating my own world to live in. LOL.
If this world is part of one which does not allow you to fly, then its perfectly reasonable that you couldn't. If the creation of the world is in part an attempt to belong, then you'd want to follow the rules that would let you. Especially if logical and intelligent, the created world would have something structural base to define it derived of the rules of the place you want to.
If you don't, if your world is there to utterly set you apart, then you can fly even if the other world doesn't let you. It doesn't matter since you are intentionally denying it.
It could be said everyone makes our own worlds, and we just make them usually where they slide unnoticed into the 'real' one. Because most want to. Some don't want to be such a close fit. They make worlds where things are not so close, but they can exist in the other. But if yours is out of sync sufficently, it won't slide in to its slot and will remain a little apart, half in, half out, connected and then not.
If this world is part of one which does not allow you to fly, then its perfectly reasonable that you couldn't. If the creation of the world is in part an attempt to belong, then you'd want to follow the rules that would let you. Especially if logical and intelligent, the created world would have something structural base to define it derived of the rules of the place you want to.
If you don't, if your world is there to utterly set you apart, then you can fly even if the other world doesn't let you. It doesn't matter since you are intentionally denying it.
It could be said everyone makes our own worlds, and we just make them usually where they slide unnoticed into the 'real' one. Because most want to. Some don't want to be such a close fit. They make worlds where things are not so close, but they can exist in the other. But if yours is out of sync sufficently, it won't slide in to its slot and will remain a little apart, half in, half out, connected and then not.
Okay, well I didn't think about it that way. Anyway this whole discussion is bordering on philosophical thought and I hate Philosophy. Failed it -- twice. So goodbye. LOL.
I'm not a mental health professional, but from my own experience, I can say that what you described is often a reaction to abuse. I used to dissociate very strongly growing up (I was abused for years). I've since learned how to live inside my body again. I would definitely explore trauma-related therapy. It's definitely worth pursuing because quality of life improves when you're actually able to live it. If it does happen to be trauma-related (which I am guessing is the most likely case), you'll have to work on reintegrating your thoughts and feelings. People who have been through trauma and dissociate strongly tend to compartmentalize the abuse and fractionate their emotions, which is what leads to depersonalization/dissociation. Since it's often a coping mechanism to deal with a history of abuse, the only way to reverse the symptoms is to confront the abuse in a way and at a pace that you can handle.
I've felt like this before. many days I feel like i'm just watching myself in My Life: the movie. I walk around, I do my stuff but i don't truly feel in control. Not sure if this is what you are takling about, just sharing my experience.
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