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Old 06-23-2012, 08:48 PM
 
123 posts, read 109,005 times
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I dont even know where to start. I had abusive childhood and marriage. After my second child I was ready to do something about it. I started with lexapro and it helped me for a couple of years. I moved from germany to the states 3 years ago. It is really hard for me living away from family and friends.My depression got worst and my ex wasnt really helping , he actually made it worst. After 7 years being married I decided to get away from my abusive husband and got divorced. My divorce was a year ago and since then my depression its not getting better. Money is really tight, Im about to lose my job and Im going back to court for full custody. (since joint custody wasnt working for us) Im going still for treatments, my medication lexapro wasnt enough anymore so they added xanxe and serquel. My healthcare insurance isnt the best but I cant afford a better one since I live on a low income job. Its feels like I got too much on my shoulders and I dont know what to do anymore. I stopped dating and going out, I was not interested in those things anymore. I do as much as I can to make the kids happy and to hide from them how I really feel. Sorry this got a little long but I just needed to vent and maybe to find here someone who going thru the same thing.
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Old 06-24-2012, 09:59 AM
 
Location: Lompoc,CA
1,261 posts, read 4,790,356 times
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Have you upped your dose of Lexapro? If so maybe it has pooped out on you? Im sorry your
having such a hard struggle. Can you talk to Dr. about it again?

greenchili
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Old 06-24-2012, 10:22 AM
 
123 posts, read 109,005 times
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I did and they upped my dose but with all whats going on I really dont notice any different.
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Old 06-24-2012, 02:42 PM
 
Location: St. Louis
9,982 posts, read 17,897,835 times
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It sounds like your problem is more stress than depression but stress can surely worsen depression. I had severe problems with this earlier this year and I didn't even want to come out of my room or talk to anyone.
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Old 06-24-2012, 05:56 PM
 
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Thats how I feel. If my kids arent with me I dont do anything, they are the reason I even stand up in the morning and get out of the house.
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Old 06-24-2012, 06:20 PM
 
Location: Nantahala National Forest, NC
27,091 posts, read 6,921,603 times
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Finding the right meds and the proper doses sometimes takes forever, it seems...sorry you are in such a predicament.

It took me years to finally get a combination of meds that works well for me. Xanax can make many people sleepy and tired feeling...Seroquel is quite strong. Suggest as others: go BACK to your MD and discuss the issues, be specific. If they are not intent on working with you and your meds, find another MD.

Keep at it...if you have treatment-resistant depression, combination of meds usually helps the most...

Good luck
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Old 06-24-2012, 07:01 PM
 
Location: Bergen County, NJ
1,603 posts, read 3,742,063 times
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While on Lexapro, are you seeing a therapist on a weekly basis ? It really helps to sit and chat with someone, focus on the positive things, things that make you happy, your visions, goals and dreams, and take baby steps each and every day to a better and more positive future ... Find an outlet, a hobby and do things for yourself ... It sounds as if your children are still young, maybe you could get a bit more involved with all their friends and the moms and do play-dates, and after school activities.

Sit and make a list of things you are grateful for, that make you happy, and when you start feeling sad, pull the list out ... Also, do you watch your diet and incorporate a bit of fitness? Even if it's daily walks .... Believe it or not, a good nutritional diet, and just a little bit of exercise goes a long way. It all helps mental health. Maybe you could find a Parents Without Partners Group, or Women's Support Group to get connected with ...
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Old 06-24-2012, 09:31 PM
 
123 posts, read 109,005 times
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I change my doctor once and I was seeing a therapist, she was really good. But since I got divorced I lost my health insurance over my ex and the one I got now is not covering that. Seroquel is for my sleep and helps me with my lexapro. Xanxe is a low dose and I only take it at night. During my marriage I had to take it during the day for anxiety attacks caused by my ex. Im doing a lot of things with my kids, swimming, play dates , movies and arts/crafts. I know other mothers but most of them dont have time or every once in a while and I understand that they want to have some alone time with their husband. I lost over 20 pounds since the last 4 months. I will try the list with grateful things, maybe that helps.
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Old 06-24-2012, 09:49 PM
 
Location: St. Louis
9,982 posts, read 17,897,835 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sonia112 View Post
I change my doctor once and I was seeing a therapist, she was really good. But since I got divorced I lost my health insurance over my ex and the one I got now is not covering that. Seroquel is for my sleep and helps me with my lexapro. Xanxe is a low dose and I only take it at night. During my marriage I had to take it during the day for anxiety attacks caused by my ex. Im doing a lot of things with my kids, swimming, play dates , movies and arts/crafts. I know other mothers but most of them dont have time or every once in a while and I understand that they want to have some alone time with their husband. I lost over 20 pounds since the last 4 months. I will try the list with grateful things, maybe that helps.
I found out for myself that this does help. It sounds trite but it is actually a very powerful tool. Last fall I fell apart after work one day and cried on a sympathetic co-worker and she very gently began to point out some of the things I had to be grateful for and it totally turned me around. Then I gave a devotion about gratitude at a women's retreat a few months later and everyone loved it and all had stories to share. I did a little digging and found out that a regular practice of gratitude can raise your happiness setpoint by up to 25% and not even winning the lottery can do that--if you win over $1 million in a lottery you'll be back to where you were in a year! But gratitude can permanently change it.
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Old 06-24-2012, 09:56 PM
 
Location: Australia
4,004 posts, read 5,463,575 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sonia112 View Post
I change my doctor once and I was seeing a therapist, she was really good. But since I got divorced I lost my health insurance over my ex and the one I got now is not covering that. Seroquel is for my sleep and helps me with my lexapro. Xanxe is a low dose and I only take it at night. During my marriage I had to take it during the day for anxiety attacks caused by my ex. Im doing a lot of things with my kids, swimming, play dates , movies and arts/crafts. I know other mothers but most of them dont have time or every once in a while and I understand that they want to have some alone time with their husband. I lost over 20 pounds since the last 4 months. I will try the list with grateful things, maybe that helps.
Sonia I have walked in your shoes...it sucks. Hang in there, it will not always be like this. You are missing out on the best part of your kids lives - when they are little. Definitely time to start a gratitude journal, but you need to go back to your doctor, with a view to getting on to a different drug, or increasing your dose. You shouldn't be feeling this lousy and the right medication can make all the difference. I am on zoloft and will never go off it, it saved my life.

I suspect you don't eat well, nor take time to exercise? You need to do both, every day. Eating healthy is cheap, once you know how.

I also coped by joining a gym. I put my babies in the creche, and soon found a bunch of other mothers who did the exact same thing. We all took classes together and became friends outside of that. If you take your kids to activities, there is guaranteed to be another mother in a similar situation there too...you just haven't met her yet.

You also need to decide what you want to do for yourself and start taking steps to do it. There is no reward in living for your kids, trust me. One day they will grow up and walk out your door, without a backward glance. You need to have enough left of the independant you to survive this too when the time comes.

I would also suggest acquiring some new skills to get yourself a better job. At the very least learning something gives you some self esteem and will help with depression.

It will become easier, trust me.
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