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Old 11-24-2012, 01:29 PM
Location: Aventura FL
868 posts, read 996,516 times
Reputation: 1164


I'm pretty ****ed up. While some may be attributed to serotonin levels, the following has done the main damage:

+ Parental favoritism towards 2 younger brothers, which has never been addressed and resolved well into adulthood. I severed ties with said family in the end.

+ Being born with a few physical deformities and being teased and picked on and unable to do normal things like date women (except for crazy ones).

+ An undiagnosed learning disability that makes textbook learning next to impossible.

+ A general disdain for society in general and the way people treat one another.
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Old 11-28-2012, 10:49 PM
Location: New Jersey
8,712 posts, read 10,315,213 times
Reputation: 7553
I don't think it's anyone's buisness.
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Old 11-29-2012, 02:18 AM
1,882 posts, read 2,934,022 times
Reputation: 3894
this is kind of a weird thread a little, stumbled on it, started reading the answers, felt compelled to throw in.

i am definitely screwed up from childhood. it wasn't my parents, it was 8 years of relentless bullying. now, i am an overly defensive, paranoid and self immolating adult, and any sort of attack or what i percieve as an attack, i go ape****.

not physically- except recently, a few months ago, with my ex boyfriend. he had been very emotionally abusive and had a tendency to "switch" on me- go from great to mean in a few seconds. we had reconciled, we were doing excellent, had the best two months we had ever had and one night, out of nowhere, he switched, changed, started yelling, cutting me down. before i knew it i had punched him upside the head. over and over. i just couldnt' stop. it damaged his ear and broke my heart. all i kept thinking of was, "if i were a man, he would be entitled to call the cops right now. hell, he is entitled anyway. but because i am a woman all my woman friends are gonna say this is ok, and ITS NOT OK". i tried to look online for some advice and everything i pulled up was about WOMEN being abused. yeah, he emotionally abused me horribly, but never laid a finger on me. i still feel bad that i punched him, at least half of me does, and then i remember what he said and i wished i had hit him harder. which bothers me.

i have done some stupid things that were emotional overreactions. recently a friend contracted me to do a video, and paid me good money. we had a disagreement and she is a bully, everyone agrees, but i knew that going in and i should't have done it, but we had a disagreement, and she turned on that laughing, mean girl attitude and it was just like my ex- i didn't punch her, but i deleted every single file of the video i had spent a month working on, and i feel horrible. i don't really know what to do.

my emotional overreacting has sometimes been a problem for me. i can't find a way to stop it. its just- sometimes, when people come at me a certain way, i am 8 years old alone in a hallway with a dozen people picking on me all over again, and i can't take it. i can't take feeling that way. and i want to defend myself because i couldn't then. and it isn't appropriate, and i know i could probably kill someone under the right circumstance, just in anger. i know i could have killed my ex boyfriend- which is essentially why i decided to leave him finally. him treating me like crap wasn't enough i guess, but one night i just got this dark feeling, this intuition, right after i had punched him- something inside me said, "he could drive you to the point of murder, and then it would be all over". i could see just kicking him over and over and over again for all the needless cruel horrible things he did- ignoring me when i had miscarriage, denying it was miscarriage and that i was just crazy, yelling at me when i found out my mom had cancer and saying i wanted to go and be there with her for the initial tests, and him standing over me yelling "why are you making a big deal out of this?" jerk.

yeah, anger, anger is an issue. not against men in general, most of my boyfriends have been excellent people. not against a class or race or type of people. just people in general, i don't trust them and they can switch on you and nothing makes me angrier than investing and trusting and they turn on you.

i have a cat now. he is better than people.
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