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Old 07-05-2012, 05:13 PM
224 posts, read 725,087 times
Reputation: 249


Originally Posted by veuvegirl View Post
You should have your dad checked for a disease called Lewy Body Disease. Many people have it and it is misdiagonsed. It is a combination of Parkinson's and Alzheimer's. A truly awful disease. My dad is in stage 4 and it is heartbreaking.

To the OP unfortunately it is time for you to become the parent in this situation. It was similar for me, stepping in and having to make the hard decisions because non one else wanted to. Your dad needs to see a doctor and get diagnosed. The sooner the better so you can start him on a course of steps. It may be time for him to move into an assisted living facility.
I really can't do that as my dad has a wife 15 years his junior so she is the one who legally would be his guardian before I could. She doesn't have sense God give a goose though, but that's another story. I will research the Lewy Body disease though as I've never heard of it. He worked around several severely toxic wastes and that could be affecting him in ways most elderly people don't ever have to deal with. Some of the guys he worked with have already died from berylliosis and lung cancer caused by the hazardous waste they all worked in.
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Old 07-05-2012, 06:06 PM
Location: Wisconsin
18,233 posts, read 18,815,911 times
Reputation: 45429
Originally Posted by sera View Post
Suggestion: List on the symptons, one by one, clearly and show the list to your Dad's physican. Tell the physican
you are concerned about your Dad and hand him the list. The physican can do tests to determine if there is a problem. From the physician's diagnosis, you might also contact the mental health community. They are very helpful; if you
Dad does have dementia, they might suggest a support group for you.

His wife, may be in denial about the man she married and/or doesn't know how to cope with your Dad's illness. Make suggestions, KINDLY. It's difficult to accept someone you love, the changes/illness in a loved one.
A dear friend, once a brilliant man with a gifted IQ, is now functioning as someone who is moderately mentally retarded due to dementia. He didn't realize how much he was changing so didn't mention things to his doctor. Finally his wife wrote a detailed list of everything that he did differently and her concerns and gave it to the doctor. The friend's doctor then convinced the friend to start including his wife in all of his appointments. That is how they started on the path to getting the right tests.

Explain in your letter to the doctor how you want to be more involved in your father's medical care.
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Old 07-23-2012, 10:53 PM
Location: Long Beach
5 posts, read 4,498 times
Reputation: 17
I can tell that you are truly worried about your father. You need to stop speculating about what he might have and get him to a professional's office. If he has asperger's he must be high functioning so do not worry about that at the moment. Your dad's wife probably notices but is just tired/ exhausted of the situation/changes. You seem that you do not like to visit all of the time which, I understand. I was my grandfather's primary caregiver for the last 2 years of his life. He had dementia, could no longer walk, bad lungs... I worked literally 24/7 and i'm glad I did.
You can hire caregivers in your area to stop in and check on your dad. If your dad is a veteran the V.A. should cover 12 of those hours a week. Sites you can try are sittercity.com and care.com.

Dementia/ Alzheimer's / Parkinson's are all related but never are there 2 cases that are alike. It differs greatly. You need to take him to the doctor's to put your mind at ease and because I bet his wife will say she's going to and it will get put off. I have seen this sooooo often.

Basically you need to write down dates and what you've observed and go to a doctor's appointment with he and his wife. To make it easier on your dad maybe plan doing something small but fun on the way back, like getting ice cream. I only suggest this because I know how the elderly do not like to go to the doctor's and pretty much never think that there's anything wrong with them so going is a waste of time. I've told a few of my male clients that, "there's nothing to worry about it's just their yearly physical," then compare the yearly physical to taking their cars to the mechanic for an oil change.
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