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Old 07-01-2012, 04:42 PM
 
Location: Islip,NY
17,488 posts, read 21,919,306 times
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There is an old saying my mom always tells me "Honor the person when they are alive, because once they are gone it's too late" I know your mom annoys you and does things that irritate you but soneday she isn't going to be around and when she is gone you may really miss her even though she was annoying. My friend's mom was like this to some extent and she would always complain that her mom was annoying and would constantly call her on her cell phone when she was coming home from work to ask her different things. Well her mom died last year of cancer and I recently spoke with her because today is the 1 year anniversary and she said to me she regreted saying those things about her mom and wishes everyday she could have her back. She misses the phone calls too even though at the time they were annoying.n Just saying...
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Old 07-01-2012, 05:11 PM
 
77 posts, read 162,841 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lubby View Post
There is an old saying my mom always tells me "Honor the person when they are alive, because once they are gone it's too late" I know your mom annoys you and does things that irritate you but soneday she isn't going to be around and when she is gone you may really miss her even though she was annoying. My friend's mom was like this to some extent and she would always complain that her mom was annoying and would constantly call her on her cell phone when she was coming home from work to ask her different things. Well her mom died last year of cancer and I recently spoke with her because today is the 1 year anniversary and she said to me she regreted saying those things about her mom and wishes everyday she could have her back. She misses the phone calls too even though at the time they were annoying.n Just saying...
Yes, I don't imagine what I would do if my mom die, but I don't think everything should be based on: don't say anything because she/he will die someday and you will miss her /him... All of us are gonna die so...
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Old 07-01-2012, 05:18 PM
 
657 posts, read 612,443 times
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my mother alway knew what was best for me.........and wish now i would have been more of the listening type i would have missed out on a lot of hardaches............. listen to your mommy .NOBODY ON EARTH IS GOING TO LOVE YOU MORE!!!!!!!!

PLEASE
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Old 07-01-2012, 08:43 PM
 
Location: FL
1,727 posts, read 2,247,359 times
Reputation: 1047
Some people are just control freaks. I know a few people like this. They feel like they have to be in charge of everyone in their circle. They have to make sure everything (including other people's plans) are just right.

You're gonna have to learn to set your boundaries and tell your mom "I got this. I know you want to help, and I appreciate that, but I want to handle this myself". She might get her feelings hurt, but if you don't want to live the rest of your life with mom driving you nuts, you're gonna have to put a stop to it.

Good luck.

PS It's okay to let a parent "help" sometimes just to make them feel good, but if it's driving you bonkers, then it's time to draw the line.
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Old 07-01-2012, 09:37 PM
 
77 posts, read 162,841 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by looking4answers12 View Post
Some people are just control freaks. I know a few people like this. They feel like they have to be in charge of everyone in their circle. They have to make sure everything (including other people's plans) are just right.

You're gonna have to learn to set your boundaries and tell your mom "I got this. I know you want to help, and I appreciate that, but I want to handle this myself". She might get her feelings hurt, but if you don't want to live the rest of your life with mom driving you nuts, you're gonna have to put a stop to it.

Good luck.

PS It's okay to let a parent "help" sometimes just to make them feel good, but if it's driving you bonkers, then it's time to draw the line.
My mom is like that. It'd tiring, really , you don't know how much. Only today she has been complaining about this:

1. I wore some shorts. Mom: I don't like those shorts, change them, too short (dah), don't go out with those shorts, what are the neighbors going to say? (this is her line of thinking) Oh My God! Those shorts. She looks at me with a disapproving look. Me: Mom, it's ok, don't worry bout my clothes. -BUT I DON'T LIKE THEM!

2. I need to go toanother city, Idon't have a lot of practice on driving, so I asked someone to dcome with me. Mom: No, not your cousin, he doesnt't have aliscence so you could get in trouble if the feds stop you. Me: Yes, I'm going to look for someone else. MOm: tes because if the feds stops you youre going to get in trouble. Me: yes, i know, i will tell somebody else. Mom: Yes, it's very dangerous,, blah blah blah. Me: yes mom, it's ok. She continued with this for like 3 more times I was like Ok mom! enough! AND SHE KEPT SAYING THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN!

I can't ask an opinion because she wants what she says is what it has to be done, everything else is wrong! And the problem is not about putting boundaries, the problem is that you have to be repeating it like every five minutes, LITERALLY! Or she won't leave you alone with her litanies!
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Old 07-01-2012, 10:07 PM
 
7,100 posts, read 24,965,535 times
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Cheer up People!! Your mother will finally leave you along when you put her in a nursing home.

They just can't admit that our minds grew too. We didn't get stuck with the mind of a five year old. And they can't admit that you might know more about some things than they do.

It makes you wonder how she was raised, doesn't it!!! I suspect that HER mother never got through to her that she wasn't the most important person in the Universe. And that other people have rights too.

Just being a mother doesn't make a person likable.
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Old 07-01-2012, 10:30 PM
 
77 posts, read 162,841 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Padgett2 View Post
Cheer up People!! Your mother will finally leave you along when you put her in a nursing home.

They just can't admit that our minds grew too. We didn't get stuck with the mind of a five year old. And they can't admit that you might know more about some things than they do.

It makes you wonder how she was raised, doesn't it!!! I suspect that HER mother never got through to her that she wasn't the most important person in the Universe. And that other people have rights too.

Just being a mother doesn't make a person likable.
Not at all. I felt the most insignificat thing while I lived with her. The relationship between her and me was hurtful, very hurtful.
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Old 07-01-2012, 10:44 PM
 
Location: Warren, OH
2,747 posts, read 3,490,778 times
Reputation: 6486
Quote:
Originally Posted by CreepyMuse View Post
yes, 24 year old people also has problems with their moms
Fifty year old people can also have problems with their moms. Did you ever think of looking inside? You never know what you might find....
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Old 07-01-2012, 10:51 PM
 
77 posts, read 162,841 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by warren zee View Post
Fifty year old people can also have problems with their moms. Did you ever think of looking inside? You never know what you might find....
I have, I was two years in therapy because the relationship with my mom was extremely harmful, hurtful and negative. I was about to kill myself in my teen years. Then, I had to quit therapy and I learned to have a more healthy relatinship with my mom. But everytime I'm on vacation and i visit home, is the same challenge of not losing the control because we are very different, she thinks she owns me and still thinks she can tell me what to wear, what to do and how to do it. She still has the same line: 'People is going to talk'. And she's very strong with that. But I'm doing it good, I am, I am...
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Old 07-02-2012, 04:08 AM
 
Location: Lower east side of Toronto
10,570 posts, read 11,156,896 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CreepyMuse View Post
Yeii!!!! Exaclty and proud:P
they are not, but my mother always says: "OHH YOU ARE LIKE YOUR FATHER AND WHAT CAN WE DO?!.. anyway" (Like feeling sorry) She says it as if it was the worst thing in the world =/... But yes, my dad and I can undersand what the other feels without saying any word.
My second daughter comes over to visit and we go out for a bite to eat..when we walk down the street we both laugh at the same things and will say the same thing at the same time...and when this daughter gets on her mothers bad side she always says> "You are just like your dad" Or she will say to me..."They learned that from you" - Which is wrong..it's genetics..

It's odd that your mother who found qualities in your dad that she liked- Liked them enough to marry the guy..but when she sees these things in her daughter she finds them irritating..My wife lives a few blocks away..now that the kids are grown..They find her very annoying...It's about people who have little control over their own lives so they try to control everybody else..No one likes a pushy person- My mother was very dominant and as a kid I had to fight for my rights..Not all mothers are angels..nor are all fathers.

Like I said- It's your mum..and parents are not around for ever..be patient and kind with her..You love her even though she is not perfect. You sound like a person with independent spirit- I would rather have a kid with spirit than some push over ...It's called character..You seem to have lots of that..keep the peace- sometimes it is better to keep your mouth shut.
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