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Old 07-16-2012, 05:31 PM
 
7,300 posts, read 5,778,707 times
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Have you ever figured out why this happens like this over and over??

Quote:
Originally Posted by CTGirlNoMore View Post
Why me? Why do these things happen to me? Know what happened to her? Nothing. She's had the easiest life with everyone helping her out along the way. And she's the freaking victim and hero.

 
Old 07-16-2012, 07:16 PM
 
1,245 posts, read 1,576,429 times
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Whatever these qualities are that average people possess that allow them to live a "normal" life I don't have them. I swear some people come out of the womb and they hit the ground running in this world While some of us come out and life smacks us down at every try.
 
Old 07-16-2012, 08:12 PM
 
Location: In a state of denial
1,289 posts, read 2,726,692 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CTGirlNoMore View Post
It really is awful living like this.

Another thing that irritates me is being made to feel like everything is my fault. Best example I can think of right now is when I lived with my stepmother's daughter, who is a year older than me. My dad and I moved here, but the apartment was teeny. So he and stepmom lived in it and her daughter and I moved in together the floor above from them. She chose to only work part time and what she couldn't afford for her half her mother paid. Then she moved her boyfriend in without asking me.

He never worked, and she still worked part time. After 3 months of trying to make it work, I got tired of paying for groceries that I never got to eat (he did), and paying $150/month for MY HALF of the electric bill because he was home all day with the a/c running nonstop. So I suggested that maybe he could chip in for stuff since he was now living there. She got ugly, he got ugly, her mother got ugly, and my father took all their sides. So I gave my 30 day notice to the landlord, who YELLED at me for leaving them (the roommate and her boyfriend) in lurch with no notice (WTH???) and how did I expect them to pay the bills, how rude I was, etc. She didn't even care that my roommate had moved her bf in without telling anyone.

So I had everyone ticked off at me for doing such a bad thing and leaving them struggling. Why? Because I work my tail off to pay my way only to have to pay for her bf to leech off us? They were both capable of working full time, but chose not to. And I got the cold shoulder for YEARS. After 13 years they STILL hold it against me.

ALl I can think is that's what I get for being responsible and asking that if we have a 3rd roommate he should chip in.

Why me? Why do these things happen to me? Know what happened to her? Nothing. She's had the easiest life with everyone helping her out along the way. And she's the freaking victim and hero.
I wouldn't have waited three months. No one else gets to live "free" off of other people, why would he think he should be able to? I wouldn't have bought groceries at all, just eaten out or stashed what I could in my room so they would have to make other arrangements. I don't know why you would be responsible for her poor decision to have a leech come move in with you. Even if they had "asked" would that have made a difference?

If someone moved in here, regardless of being related or not, the first thing I would do is make sure they were going to pay for their room and board. If not they would get either get an eviction notice or I would move. good for you for standing up for yourself and moving.
 
Old 07-17-2012, 07:38 AM
 
Location: Connecticut
2,727 posts, read 5,506,574 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chuck_steak View Post
I wouldn't have waited three months. No one else gets to live "free" off of other people, why would he think he should be able to? I wouldn't have bought groceries at all, just eaten out or stashed what I could in my room so they would have to make other arrangements. I don't know why you would be responsible for her poor decision to have a leech come move in with you. Even if they had "asked" would that have made a difference?

If someone moved in here, regardless of being related or not, the first thing I would do is make sure they were going to pay for their room and board. If not they would get either get an eviction notice or I would move. good for you for standing up for yourself and moving.
I had to wait to for the apartment complex to be ready - it was the only area I could afford to move to.
 
Old 07-17-2012, 07:39 AM
 
Location: Connecticut
2,727 posts, read 5,506,574 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saritaschihuahua View Post
Have you ever figured out why this happens like this over and over??
Are you trying to imply it's something to do with me? That I cause it? Why? Becuase I choose to work hard to support myself since I have no one to support me?
 
Old 07-17-2012, 07:42 AM
 
Location: Connecticut
2,727 posts, read 5,506,574 times
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For the record, my family doesn't believe in helping their own out. They will help strangers, no questions asked. But their own family? Nope, fend for ourselves.

As for why? Well, i can't answer that. They have no answer other than "because".
 
Old 07-17-2012, 08:31 AM
 
Location: North Texas
24,576 posts, read 34,290,563 times
Reputation: 28402
Quote:
Originally Posted by VX5650 View Post
Whatever these qualities are that average people possess that allow them to live a "normal" life I don't have them. I swear some people come out of the womb and they hit the ground running in this world While some of us come out and life smacks us down at every try.
I understand 100%; I feel the same way.
 
Old 07-17-2012, 09:28 AM
 
7,300 posts, read 5,778,707 times
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No, I'm not implying that.

I'm asking (because there's no other way to ask it, except to ask it like that) what is the CAUSE.

If you have a different way to ask what is the cause, please let me know what the phrasing you would prefer is, and I'll gladly use that phrasing in lieu of mine.

Again, I'm asking what you think is the CAUSE why things are going well for her, and not for you.



Quote:
Originally Posted by CTGirlNoMore View Post
Are you trying to imply it's something to do with me? That I cause it? Why? Becuase I choose to work hard to support myself since I have no one to support me?
 
Old 07-17-2012, 09:36 AM
 
Location: Connecticut
2,727 posts, read 5,506,574 times
Reputation: 1980
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saritaschihuahua View Post
No, I'm not implying that.

I'm asking (because there's no other way to ask it, except to ask it like that) what is the CAUSE.

If you have a different way to ask what is the cause, please let me know what the phrasing you would prefer is, and I'll gladly use that phrasing in lieu of mine.

Again, I'm asking what you think is the CAUSE why things are going well for her, and not for you.

My apologies for reading it wrong.

It's because her mother helped her out (financially, etc.) whereas my parents don't believe in that. My parents couldn't care less. I stayed with a very abusive ex-husband 8 monhs longer than I wanted to because that's how long it took for me to save money for a security deposit on an apartment. My parents knew how bad my situation was, but neither would let me stay with them because they simply don't believe in helping their children out - even in dire situations like mine was.
 
Old 07-17-2012, 10:19 AM
 
7,300 posts, read 5,778,707 times
Reputation: 2863
Oh my gosh, an abusive husband. How awful. Sorry to hear that. My sister was reading a book about abusive spouses, and the book explains that initially, a lot of abusers are an absolute delight, but as the woman gets more and more "imprisoned" - with children, with not working, with him keeping the money and saying it's his, with him being the controller and boss, etc., the more abusive they become. In other words, they know they're not supposed to be abusive, so they try to "pass" as non-abusive at first, so the woman ends up getting caught like a mouse in a trap. It sure would've helped you to get out of that relationship if your mom and dad had helped you get out of it (financially or otherwise).

That's awful that your parents don't believe in helping children out. Sorry, but I think they're demented, and probably could use meds and a straitjacket or two. Hell, how could they not help their daughter who got herself into an abusive relationship? I mean, if they had 0 money and had one foot in the homeless shelter, well, I can understand, but... sheesh!

Are you doing better now? Are you still having to hide from the monster?


Quote:
Originally Posted by CTGirlNoMore View Post
My apologies for reading it wrong.

It's because her mother helped her out (financially, etc.) whereas my parents don't believe in that. My parents couldn't care less. I stayed with a very abusive ex-husband 8 monhs longer than I wanted to because that's how long it took for me to save money for a security deposit on an apartment. My parents knew how bad my situation was, but neither would let me stay with them because they simply don't believe in helping their children out - even in dire situations like mine was.
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