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Old 07-05-2012, 01:52 PM
 
Location: North Texas
24,576 posts, read 34,255,658 times
Reputation: 28402

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Quote:
Originally Posted by imcurious View Post
If the point is just to commiserate with each other and validate your horrible lives, then that's one thing. Just know that you are creating more of the same . . .

If you view people who try to educate you as "butting in," and you really just want a misery club, then you will have plenty of company (as they say, "misery loves company").

I do know what it is like to be despondent and disappointed but I also know that wallowing in those lower vibrations and negative thought patterns just creates more of the same . . .

Don't take my word for it - there are is a lot of information on this subject "out there."

If you would like to change your mood and outlook, you can go to YouTube and put "raising vibration" into the search function . . . there are lots of ways to get out of a rut.

I think body work is great for changing a negative perspective . . .we can always find justifications for WHY things are the way they are . . .but as Juan Miquel Ruiz says (paraphrasing) we are all in our own little dreams . . .and the thoughts we think have been programmed from an early age . . .we can change our thoughts and change our circumstances. The information is available if you truly want to do something other than wallow in your misery.

And if wallowing is your preference, just know you are choosing it.
Attitudes like yours are a HUGE part of the problem, and contribute to the stigmatization and further alienation of people like me.

One more post and I'm putting you on ignore. Nothing personal, but what you write pisses me off.

 
Old 07-05-2012, 01:52 PM
 
1,245 posts, read 1,574,296 times
Reputation: 1352
Quote:
This is pretty much how I feel.

Plus I feel like I came 'defective' from the 'factory', if that makes any sense. People have treated me like poop on their shoes my entire life. The things that others take for granted...marriage, children, family life, etc. were things I hoped for, yearned for, wished I could have...and didn't get.
Oh, I can relate to this so well. People still treat me like crap. I don't see other people around me getting rude treatment like I do. It's made me tougher that is for sure. When I was younger I just took whatever anybody dished out because I was raised to be a "nice" person and I was told that this is how Jesus wants you to be. You know, turn the other cheek. I don't take people's crap anymore.

I never got those "goodies" like everyone else. Things that people don't even give a thought like marriage and children. They just fall into these things. It's not even a thought for them. It's as natural for them as taking a dump!

Quote:
I think one of the reasons I don't have a whole lot of friends is people my own age are married and wrapped up in raising children; we have nothing in common and they do not understand one bit what I'm going through. They also want everything to revolve around their children. We just don't sync up.
Same here. Friends are gone living their "perfect" lives.
 
Old 07-05-2012, 01:53 PM
 
Location: Purgatory
2,663 posts, read 4,676,828 times
Reputation: 3054
Quote:
Originally Posted by imcurious View Post
If you make yourself as happy as possible, you are contributing to the joy in the world and that is contagious and will actually help the world, as a whole (the butterfly effect).
What makes you assume that none of us have tried that, or at least didn't start out that way (maybe youre just trolling)? You can't just flips a switch and think happy thoughts and watch as your new found fake positivity rubs off on the human race.

Been there, tried that. I think you are over-simplifying matters. I am certainly not a negative person by nature. I've simply been worn down and more than anything, I'm just tired.
 
Old 07-05-2012, 01:54 PM
 
Location: North Texas
24,576 posts, read 34,255,658 times
Reputation: 28402
Quote:
Originally Posted by VX5650 View Post
Oh, I can relate to this so well. People still treat me like crap. I don't see other people around me getting rude treatment like I do. It's made me tougher that is for sure. When I was younger I just took whatever anybody dished out because I was raised to be a "nice" person and I was told that this is how Jesus wants you to be. You know, turn the other cheek. I don't take people's crap anymore.

I never got those "goodies" like everyone else. Things that people don't even give a thought like marriage and children. They just fall into these things. It's not even a thought for them. It's as natural for them as taking a dump!



Same here. Friends are gone living their "perfect" lives.
Yup, and they consider you defective for 'failing' at having the same things. As if you did it on purpose.
 
Old 07-05-2012, 02:01 PM
 
Location: Connecticut
2,727 posts, read 5,502,874 times
Reputation: 1980
To the OP, yeah I could've written your post. That is me. I've gotten to the point where I just don't care anymore, nothing matters. I can't find a decent man here, so much I wanted in life is gone (either I worked hard to have it taken away, or worked to just not get it). My health is really bad, and I just don't care.
 
Old 07-05-2012, 02:04 PM
 
Location: Connecticut
2,727 posts, read 5,502,874 times
Reputation: 1980
Quote:
Originally Posted by VX5650 View Post
I never got those "goodies" like everyone else. Things that people don't even give a thought like marriage and children. They just fall into these things. It's not even a thought for them. It's as natural for them as taking a dump!

Same for me here. I have friends who never wanted kids and only had them to make their spouse happy, don't care about them, etc. But they got to have them, not even a struggle.

Me - I had a child that I lost, can't have anymore, and sad thing is I would've loved a child(ren) more than most of my friends. I have a friend who complains about her kids everyday, not giving a thought to how lucky she is to have them. Never a good word said about them, only bad.
 
Old 07-05-2012, 04:16 PM
 
Location: NC
645 posts, read 883,873 times
Reputation: 1539
Quote:
Originally Posted by imcurious View Post
If you make yourself as happy as possible, you are contributing to the joy in the world and that is contagious and will actually help the world, as a whole (the butterfly effect).
Just thought you'd like to know that this is how you are coming off right about now:


Case of the Mondays! - YouTube

Really, it would be nice if it were so easy as to simply "make oneself as happy as possible..." However, things are far, far more complicated than that. Please, have some respect. If you truly wish to do some honest good, take this approach - Seek first to understand, then to be understood. It's good sound and wise advice, and yet so few heed it.
 
Old 07-05-2012, 04:45 PM
 
Location: earth?
7,288 posts, read 11,238,915 times
Reputation: 8956
Carry on with your current trajectories.
 
Old 07-05-2012, 05:01 PM
 
Location: Nebraska
4,178 posts, read 9,638,417 times
Reputation: 9592
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShellNic View Post
But you know...I was just thinking...when I started this new job last year, I came with the "I'm happy as a lark to have a job" attitude. I was pleasant and nice to pretty much everyone here. You know where that got me? I eat alone, I get talked about (I know b/c they don't bother to do it behind my back) and sometimes ostracized from group outings.

I'm extremely thankful for the things that I've worked hard to have...but I think you get my point...even being a delightful individual will not make people be nice to you. And after a while, it gets old and you stop trying.
but alas, we live around a lot of dummies who don't give a crap about anything but themselves. You know I'm right!!
Oh, gosh, you ARE right. I was so excited to start my new job 3 years ago; working with teens (whom I really love) and most of them come to me with their problems, not the ersatz 'counselor' who tells them that if they give their lives to Jesus they will be 'forgiven', etc . I know how to be warm and friendly and make people comfortable, especially kids. These kids don't WANT forgiveness or judgement, they want understanding and good solid practical advice, and trust me and call me "Mom". I have a lot of responsibilities which I love too - but the knifing and backstabbing that goes on and on and ON makes me literally, physically sick.

One longtime employee actually has screaming fits, insults everyone around her (she's always RIGHT, even when you can prove that she's wrong) when they make mistakes - but if SHE makes a mistake - no matter how costly - she just giggles and says "oh, well". She's been trying to get rid of me for all three years, knifing me, talking down to me in front of everyone else, etc... I do my best to avoid her - and then she talks about me behind my back.

Why? It doesn't benefit her, nor does it benefit any of the others who join her in it. But they all get such pleasure out of it, it is nauseating. They take such vicious joy in destroying these teens' lives and trying to destroy mine. I go home and don't socialize any more with any of them, merely wave or say hello and keep moving if I see them outside of work. And STILL - I got written up on my last eval because they said I said something that I didn't, wasn't around anyone to say! The smarmy and blatant rudeness, cruelty, and simple-mindedness never seems to end...
 
Old 07-05-2012, 05:53 PM
 
Location: very new to Ossining NY
220 posts, read 334,670 times
Reputation: 155
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigDGeek View Post
I've dealt with depression on and off for many years. I used to want to get better...I yearned to live depression-free one day.

Then I got divorced, realized there weren't any decent men my age in Dallas (or if there were, it was such a Herculean effort to find them that I'd have to quit my job and hunt for a spouse full-time), realized I'd likely never have children, and found that the reason I wanted to get better is so I could have that.

Realizing now that I can't have it (why is another thread entirely and yes, I am somewhat bitter about it), I've stopped caring about most things. This has been going on for years and has steadily gotten worse. I don't care about my future health even though I work out and eat healthy. I do this to stay skinny, not because I want to be healthy. I'm actually not healthy at all. I'm weak, tired, and underweight. But I don't care. Long as I'm not fat.

People tell me to save for the future, for my retirement. Why? Instead of spending 40 years toiling in solitude at work, I'll spend 20 sitting on my widening ass watching daytime TV and NOT wondering how come the kids never call, because I don't have any. Retirement for me would be a nightmare; working is what keeps me sane. I figure once I get too old/sick to work, I'll take care of business after a nice relaxing vacation. "But but..." people sputter when they hear about my plan. Then they realize that I'd be so incredibly lonely as a retiree that it's probably for the best. It's not like anyone would miss me.

I used to be religious about recycling and about green issues, but my concern for the long-term future of Earth isn't what it used to be, mostly because I have no stake in that long-term future. It's not like people with kids give a damn about how what THEY do affects me, so why should I give a damn either?

Basically I just don't care. Stuff doesn't upset me like it used to because I've stopped caring. The only thing I've gotten upset about recently was a YouTube video of dog abuse in China.

Just how abnormal is this level of apathy? Are there others out there like me who are just too afraid to speak up?
I want to cry when I read your post, and I can totally empathize.

I ended up divorced almost three decades ago and, despite a couple almosts, never remarried anyone else. Before I knew it I was in my forties, and no husband or even lover. I used to regret not being a mother, but I now think it is a blessing. The world is so messed up. My sister, with a very adorable 6 year old, said she will one day tell her daughter not to have children. My sister doesn't want anymore. She is religious, and believes the world is just too evil.

I'm not at all religious, but I agree that the world is just too evil.

And, I've given up on myself. I am too impulsive and I say things I soon regret.

On the other hand, I also think people are not being very caring or teaching their kids to be caring at all. I think that is the case with my niece. Kids anymore are always in the right. Saying anything to them they don't like is being "mean." It just takes too much energy to be so understanding all the time, especially when they don't make any effort to return the favor. People with kids don't even really care about the quality of the future of those kids. If they did, they would be giving up their cars, using mass transit, or riding only bikes or horses. And they would not go to work, but would be striking because the government and our corporate system could care less about the education of our children. Hell, let the Chinese and East Indians educate their people, and the big corps. will just bring the best educated here. The US is more than willing to dispose of the future of tens of millions of Americans. I don't understand why that doesn't make people with kids mad as hell and why they support this evil system??

The only thing that really touches me are feline issues, tigers because they are being decimated for Chinese medicine, lions because they are in the way of African sheephearders, thus being slaughtered and domestic cats in the US because they are abandoned so very often. I just think felines were one of the Creator's most lovely ideas.

I'd like to believe that the human race will suddenly start doing the responsible and brave and altruistic thing, grow up, in other words, but the human heart is too greedy and too short-sighted.

My sister is a strong believer in Christianity. I tell her that Christianity has already failed, and failed most miserably. Nothing seems to be able to change the human heart.
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