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Old 07-05-2012, 06:12 PM
 
1,245 posts, read 1,573,878 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by starbugster View Post
I don't understand why that doesn't make people with kids mad as hell and why they support this evil system??

I've come to the conclusion that many actually *like* things they way they are now. The system works works for them and they are comfortable. They have their "creature comforts" their cell phones, SUVs, and big television, granite counter tops, etc. To H*ll with the future!
I often wonder how much people these days even care about their kids. I think the kids are just there so the parents can get attention from other people. That and they had kids because everybody else was doing it.

 
Old 07-05-2012, 06:14 PM
 
1,245 posts, read 1,573,878 times
Reputation: 1352
Quote:
Originally Posted by SCGranny View Post

Why? It doesn't benefit her, nor does it benefit any of the others who join her in it. But they all get such pleasure out of it, it is nauseating. They take such vicious joy in destroying these teens' lives and trying to destroy mine. I go home and don't socialize any more with any of them, merely wave or say hello and keep moving if I see them outside of work. And STILL - I got written up on my last eval because they said I said something that I didn't, wasn't around anyone to say! The smarmy and blatant rudeness, cruelty, and simple-mindedness never seems to end...
People are turning into sociopaths. I often think that you have to be a sociopath to get ahead in this society. I've seen too many of these people rewarded for their bad behavior.
 
Old 07-05-2012, 06:26 PM
 
Location: Nebraska
4,178 posts, read 9,634,493 times
Reputation: 9592
Quote:
Originally Posted by VX5650 View Post
I've come to the conclusion that many actually *like* things they way they are now. The system works works for them and they are comfortable. They have their "creature comforts" their cell phones, SUVs, and big television, granite counter tops, etc. To H*ll with the future!
I often wonder how much people these days even care about their kids. I think the kids are just there so the parents can get attention from other people. That and they had kids because everybody else was doing it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by VX5650 View Post
People are turning into sociopaths. I often think that you have to be a sociopath to get ahead in this society. I've seen too many of these people rewarded for their bad behavior.
I think that you are absolutely right, about both; the greedy parents and their spoiled and selfish kids, and the comfortably sociopathic behavior. And if you aren't 'like them', they wear themselves out attacking and attacking, to bring you down to their level...
 
Old 07-05-2012, 07:35 PM
 
Location: in a pond with the other human scum
1,887 posts, read 1,966,913 times
Reputation: 2199
Quote:
Originally Posted by imcurious View Post
If the point is just to commiserate with each other and validate your horrible lives, then that's one thing. Just know that you are creating more of the same . . .

If you view people who try to educate you as "butting in," and you really just want a misery club, then you will have plenty of company (as they say, "misery loves company").

I do know what it is like to be despondent and disappointed but I also know that wallowing in those lower vibrations and negative thought patterns just creates more of the same . . .

Don't take my word for it - there are is a lot of information on this subject "out there."

If you would like to change your mood and outlook, you can go to YouTube and put "raising vibration" into the search function . . . there are lots of ways to get out of a rut.

I think body work is great for changing a negative perspective . . .we can always find justifications for WHY things are the way they are . . .but as Juan Miquel Ruiz says (paraphrasing) we are all in our own little dreams . . .and the thoughts we think have been programmed from an early age . . .we can change our thoughts and change our circumstances. The information is available if you truly want to do something other than wallow in your misery.

And if wallowing is your preference, just know you are choosing it.
Go to YouTube. Christ on a crutch.

I'm sure none of us have ever tried positive thinking, meds, shrinks, changing our diets, herbal remedies, exercise, yoga, meditation--or your favorite apparently, just stop negative thoughts. And you know what? I bet that most of us are contributing members of society--and I definitely include those of us who are unemployed. We're doing our best.

The really toxic thing about telling someone who's depressed or down that they can get better if they only try hard enough or want it badly enough is that, if that latest nostrum doesn't work, then people like you think it's some kind of character flaw--we didn't try hard enough. Worse, all too often we internalize that message and beat ourselves up worse than you ever could. It sounds like many, maybe most of us recognize the pattern and are working to stop it.

You're not here to help, so I'll repeat the question-why ARE you here?
 
Old 07-06-2012, 07:21 AM
 
Location: Noblesville, IN
3,761 posts, read 4,244,754 times
Reputation: 6350
Quote:
Originally Posted by cyrano View Post
Go to YouTube. Christ on a crutch.

I'm sure none of us have ever tried positive thinking, meds, shrinks, changing our diets, herbal remedies, exercise, yoga, meditation--or your favorite apparently, just stop negative thoughts. And you know what? I bet that most of us are contributing members of society--and I definitely include those of us who are unemployed. We're doing our best.

The really toxic thing about telling someone who's depressed or down that they can get better if they only try hard enough or want it badly enough is that, if that latest nostrum doesn't work, then people like you think it's some kind of character flaw--we didn't try hard enough. Worse, all too often we internalize that message and beat ourselves up worse than you ever could. It sounds like many, maybe most of us recognize the pattern and are working to stop it.

You're not here to help, so I'll repeat the question-why ARE you here?
So apparently I have to spread some love before I can rep you again, but I HAVE to comment on this. I think this was running through my head earlier when I posted, but you have perfectly said what was in my head!!

I have been on EVERY medication out there...too many side effects to count. I've read books and watched programs and talked to people. My stepmother will say, why don't you just go outside and get some fresh air. I'm not saying fresh air isn't nice (although try finding it in Dallas) but seriously, I don't think that's going to make my worries go away.

Then theres the judgement...not a conversation goes by w/o her telling me to get counseling...um, why? Most of my issues are with you and you're never wrong, so I've learned to move on in most cases. Or she'll say, don't you need some sort of medication. Um, it makes me slow and I gain weight and I know how you hate fat people.

I'll turn on the TV and I can't watch the news. I feel things way too deeply and I'll see an image that just won't go away: abuse of animals or children, suffering...I can't handle it so I switch over to something that doesn't remind me of all the cruelty out there. Although it wasn't exactly planned, my husband and I didn't have kids and I'm extremely grateful for that. I don't think I could let go of them for one second in the mad world.

I think of a place where it's quiet and nature is full...I hope one day I can move to this quiet, QUIET place...out of the chaos of traffic, rude, unrelenting people, the more more more attitude...give me a rocking chair on a porch, listening to the birds and hoping my kitties don't trounce them...

Yep, don't try to tell me to be more positive and then tell me to "carry on my trajectory". This life long thing going on in my head is a work in progress...the beauty of getting older is with that comes understanding of one self. I'm sort of broken, but that's ok...I think I have a lot of heart...
 
Old 07-06-2012, 08:33 AM
 
Location: Noblesville, IN
3,761 posts, read 4,244,754 times
Reputation: 6350
Quote:
Originally Posted by SCGranny View Post
Oh, gosh, you ARE right. I was so excited to start my new job 3 years ago; working with teens (whom I really love) and most of them come to me with their problems, not the ersatz 'counselor' who tells them that if they give their lives to Jesus they will be 'forgiven', etc . I know how to be warm and friendly and make people comfortable, especially kids. These kids don't WANT forgiveness or judgement, they want understanding and good solid practical advice, and trust me and call me "Mom". I have a lot of responsibilities which I love too - but the knifing and backstabbing that goes on and on and ON makes me literally, physically sick.

One longtime employee actually has screaming fits, insults everyone around her (she's always RIGHT, even when you can prove that she's wrong) when they make mistakes - but if SHE makes a mistake - no matter how costly - she just giggles and says "oh, well". She's been trying to get rid of me for all three years, knifing me, talking down to me in front of everyone else, etc... I do my best to avoid her - and then she talks about me behind my back.

Why? It doesn't benefit her, nor does it benefit any of the others who join her in it. But they all get such pleasure out of it, it is nauseating. They take such vicious joy in destroying these teens' lives and trying to destroy mine. I go home and don't socialize any more with any of them, merely wave or say hello and keep moving if I see them outside of work. And STILL - I got written up on my last eval because they said I said something that I didn't, wasn't around anyone to say! The smarmy and blatant rudeness, cruelty, and simple-mindedness never seems to end...
I just don't understand! I don't. Those kids are so lucky to have someone like you that it boggles the mind that the "grown ups" make it impossible to remain strong for those kids. WTH??? I'm very sorry you're dealing with that -- it doesn't give me a lot of faith in a lot of humankind...although you rock so that's a good balance...however, why is it so many people seem not to be responsible for their actions?

Yep, I just don't understand...
 
Old 07-06-2012, 09:46 AM
 
Location: earth?
7,288 posts, read 11,231,990 times
Reputation: 8956
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShellNic View Post
So apparently I have to spread some love before I can rep you again, but I HAVE to comment on this. I think this was running through my head earlier when I posted, but you have perfectly said what was in my head!!

I have been on EVERY medication out there...too many side effects to count. I've read books and watched programs and talked to people. My stepmother will say, why don't you just go outside and get some fresh air. I'm not saying fresh air isn't nice (although try finding it in Dallas) but seriously, I don't think that's going to make my worries go away.

Then theres the judgement...not a conversation goes by w/o her telling me to get counseling...um, why? Most of my issues are with you and you're never wrong, so I've learned to move on in most cases. Or she'll say, don't you need some sort of medication. Um, it makes me slow and I gain weight and I know how you hate fat people.

I'll turn on the TV and I can't watch the news. I feel things way too deeply and I'll see an image that just won't go away: abuse of animals or children, suffering...I can't handle it so I switch over to something that doesn't remind me of all the cruelty out there. Although it wasn't exactly planned, my husband and I didn't have kids and I'm extremely grateful for that. I don't think I could let go of them for one second in the mad world.

I think of a place where it's quiet and nature is full...I hope one day I can move to this quiet, QUIET place...out of the chaos of traffic, rude, unrelenting people, the more more more attitude...give me a rocking chair on a porch, listening to the birds and hoping my kitties don't trounce them...

Yep, don't try to tell me to be more positive and then tell me to "carry on my trajectory". This life long thing going on in my head is a work in progress...the beauty of getting older is with that comes understanding of one self. I'm sort of broken, but that's ok...I think I have a lot of heart...

You may be a "Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)."

What is stopping you from realizing your dream of living in the country in peace and quiet with your animals?

Have you read or heard Wayne Dyer's book or CD "Excuses Be Gone." It could be helpful.

You can change your life (I think that is also a Louise Hay book title).

My life is far from perfect, but I know being hopeless will not get me where I want to go. There are lots of tools out there to assist us on the path . . .

I was not merely promoting "positive thinking" - sad and bad things have happened to all of us but it is up to us how we interpret what happens.
 
Old 07-06-2012, 11:49 AM
 
Location: Noblesville, IN
3,761 posts, read 4,244,754 times
Reputation: 6350
Quote:
Originally Posted by imcurious View Post
You may be a "Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)."

What is stopping you from realizing your dream of living in the country in peace and quiet with your animals?

Have you read or heard Wayne Dyer's book or CD "Excuses Be Gone." It could be helpful.

You can change your life (I think that is also a Louise Hay book title).

My life is far from perfect, but I know being hopeless will not get me where I want to go. There are lots of tools out there to assist us on the path . . .

I was not merely promoting "positive thinking" - sad and bad things have happened to all of us but it is up to us how we interpret what happens.
I may be highly sensitive but don't tell me I am b/c I am highly sensitive.

What's stopping me? Well, I have to make a living and it's not easy when there aren't a lot of jobs out in the middle of nowhere. That is probably my biggest deterrent...must eat, must be able to sustain life. I'm not one to pick up and go without a plan...especially with my husband who is also a planner. Honestly, if I could make the same salary that I make in the city, out in the country? We'd be in bidness!! Just not likely, but I keep looking...

I've heard of those authors and believe I read a Louise Haye book back in the 90's sometime... my perspective is this: I can rehash all the "crap" in my life OR I can move on. I understand where many of my idiosyncrasies come from and so forth. I do agree that it's all about perspective and interpreting what happens...what's the line? You can make chicken sh!!t or chicken salad...your choice.

But I think what most of the folks here are saying, or what I'm trying to express, is that it's not just about depression...or hopelessness...it's not like we made all the cruelty out there. In today's world, at least for me, I'm really disgusted by so much that I tend to withdraw. That doesn't make me incapable of seeing the good, it merely makes me withdraw from the bad. It doesn't give me hope when I see what I see...and you've read some of these stories and can feel how these folks feel...

While my own personal growth is important, I can't just switch my basic nature to be someone I'm not. I can't make opportunity present itself unless I want to change fundamental things about me. I'm not a sociopath, I'm not a psychopath...I'm not shallow.

You know, I worked with this woman for years and overall, she was average intelligence. She had tremendous capacity for her family and children (something I really admired) and she was capable in her job (as long as it wasn't too deep) but she just wasn't terribly smart. I know this sounds kinda bad... but my point is that she was really happy. She just didn't think too deep about stuff and she was happy as one can be. I was pretty envious of that ability to just not worry...alas, that's just the way it is!!
 
Old 07-06-2012, 12:31 PM
 
Location: Purgatory
2,663 posts, read 4,675,298 times
Reputation: 3054
Quote:
Originally Posted by imcurious View Post

You may be a "Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)."

What is stopping you from realizing your dream of living in the country in peace and quiet with your animals?

Have you read or heard Wayne Dyer's book or CD "Excuses Be Gone." It could be helpful.

You can change your life (I think that is also a Louise Hay book title).

My life is far from perfect, but I know being hopeless will not get me where I want to go. There are lots of tools out there to assist us on the path . . .

I was not merely promoting "positive thinking" - sad and bad things have happened to all of us but it is up to us how we interpret what happens.
Nobody's life is perfect, but some of us are in true dire straits and on top of that, we don't particularly like the society due to how it's evolved. No amount of that "self help" nonsense will make any difference, unless you are insinuating that people should lie to themselves and pretend to like what they see and hear on a daily basis, while forcing a smile and feigning positivity.

Many of us are simply square shapes trying to fit into round pegs. We're not whiners and we don't mope around. I have a job and pay for my own ****.

You are one of those people who are under the illusion that you are completely in control, when the reality of life is that we only get to control a certain amount, while the rest is down to how mother nature made us, where we're born, who our parents are and what life throws at us. I look at my own existence and see potentially 4 directions that my life could go in, none of which are particularly appealing, none of which make me want to stick around and suffer this ridiculous society for any longer than I absolutely have to.

Whatever your intentions are here, you are not giving good or well thought out advice. You are applying YOUR rules to other people whom you do not know or understand. Just because something worked for you, that doesn't mean it applies universally.

You say your life is nowhere near perfect....I would give my right arm to be able to say that, as that would be sufficient for me. My life is unliveable, so "nowhere near perfect" would be a huge step up.
 
Old 07-06-2012, 12:58 PM
 
Location: Dallas TX
15,423 posts, read 22,649,300 times
Reputation: 23525
Quote:
Originally Posted by dragonborn View Post
Nobody's life is perfect, but some of us are in true dire straits and on top of that, we don't particularly like the society due to how it's evolved. No amount of that "self help" nonsense will make any difference, unless you are insinuating that people should lie to themselves and pretend to like what they see and hear on a daily basis, while forcing a smile and feigning positivity.

Many of us are simply square shapes trying to fit into round pegs. We're not whiners and we don't mope around. I have a job and pay for my own ****.

You are one of those people who are under the illusion that you are completely in control, when the reality of life is that we only get to control a certain amount, while the rest is down to how mother nature made us, where we're born, who our parents are and what life throws at us. I look at my own existence and see potentially 4 directions that my life could go in, none of which are particularly appealing, none of which make me want to stick around and suffer this ridiculous society for any longer than I absolutely have to.

Whatever your intentions are here, you are not giving good or well thought out advice. You are applying YOUR rules to other people whom you do not know or understand. Just because something worked for you, that doesn't mean it applies universally.

You say your life is nowhere near perfect....I would give my right arm to be able to say that, as that would be sufficient for me. My life is unliveable, so "nowhere near perfect" would be a huge step up.
You are doing the same thing to the poster, trying to fit them into your perception. People who don't suffer from depressive personalities (sadly I am not one of them I suffer severely) truly don't think the way we do.

They can look at the silver lining, smile and make things better by doing just that. They feel better, get better and their life turns around. It sounds crazy but works for many many people.
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