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Old 07-06-2012, 01:55 PM
 
Location: Purgatory
2,663 posts, read 4,684,046 times
Reputation: 3054

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Quote:
Originally Posted by veuvegirl View Post
You are doing the same thing to the poster, trying to fit them into your perception. People who don't suffer from depressive personalities (sadly I am not one of them I suffer severely) truly don't think the way we do.

They can look at the silver lining, smile and make things better by doing just that. They feel better, get better and their life turns around. It sounds crazy but works for many many people.
Not really...I don't pass judgment on those who see the world, society and themselves differently. What I do object to is being judged or given blanket / self-help type solutions that do not apply and do not work in my case, or when people assume that I (and others like me have not already tried pills, therapy, positive thinking and all that stuff. People also assume that his because someone is depressed, they must be some sort of self-pitying moron who is depressed because they *choose* to be, or that bad things only happen to bad people. Trying to convince people otherwise is like banging your head against a brick wall, only far more frustrating.

 
Old 07-06-2012, 02:09 PM
 
Location: Noblesville, IN
3,764 posts, read 4,255,658 times
Reputation: 6365
Quote:
Originally Posted by dragonborn View Post
Not really...I don't pass judgment on those who see the world, society and themselves differently. What I do object to is being judged or given blanket / self-help type solutions that do not apply and do not work in my case, or when people assume that I (and others like me have not already tried pills, therapy, positive thinking and all that stuff. People also assume that his because someone is depressed, they must be some sort of self-pitying moron who is depressed because they *choose* to be, or that bad things only happen to bad people. Trying to convince people otherwise is like banging your head against a brick wall, only far more frustrating.

YEP and YEP!!!!!!!
 
Old 07-06-2012, 04:51 PM
 
Location: earth?
7,288 posts, read 11,257,870 times
Reputation: 8956
Quote:
Originally Posted by veuvegirl View Post
You are doing the same thing to the poster, trying to fit them into your perception. People who don't suffer from depressive personalities (sadly I am not one of them I suffer severely) truly don't think the way we do.

They can look at the silver lining, smile and make things better by doing just that. They feel better, get better and their life turns around. It sounds crazy but works for many many people.
I am going to stop posting on this thread, but before I do, just want to share this: The thinking I am hearing here is linear . . . I am applying metaphysical principals to the thoughts I am sharing . . . and not everyone can hear it . . . it has to do with the level at which you are vibrating.

If you want to continue vibrating at a low level, you will create the 3d environment you are used to . . . I you would care to take a leap of faith and "pretend" (as in cultivate more positive thoughts where you legitimately can) you can now step into a 5d environment. It's totally up to you.

There may be difficult circumstances in your life . . .but there are also gifts and blessings. The trick is to concentrate on the good stuff and dream about what makes you happy.

Start small if you have to - enjoy the hot shower (some people don't have hot water), enjoy your coffee in the morning . . .focus on what is truly good . . .even if there is a lot of pain and a lot of "bad" stuff . . .seek out the good . . .

I know you don't think it is possible and that is going to be the biggest obstacle - now, like never before, it is possible to create your reality - but you have to think positive thoughts and somehow get yourself to feel good, one feeling/thought at a time.

I am also working on this - it doesn't come naturally to me.

Good luck.
 
Old 07-07-2012, 12:57 AM
Status: "Alexa, homeschool the children" (set 6 days ago)
 
Location: Near Manito
20,028 posts, read 21,617,411 times
Reputation: 15005
I just stumbled into this thread and followed the first couple of pages then skipped here to the end -- so I apologize for having missed something in the middle pages.

Late-sixties guy here, with a whole of baggage like anyone else, who has ended up slightly on the positive side of things, but not without having suffered a whole lot of hopelessness and failure in my life.

I couldn't help thinking how much I would like to personally meet BigDGeek, VX5650, and ShellNic and just listen to their voices, look at their faces, and let them know how much potential and value they each have. I'm qualified to do so because I'm sure that I'm a whole lot older, more experienced, and uglier than they are.

And I know two secrets.

1. What gives us the confidence to reach out to others and forget about ourselves for a while is the inner spirit that we can feel from people who describe themselves as unhappy, in need, or in pain -- and our realization, because we are outside their frame of reference, that they are truly beautiful and talented, and of such immense value to others. Something that I was taught about halfway through my life --- something which a lot of people on this thread and elsewhere in our culture already know -- is that there is great benefit, mentally, emotionally physically, spiritually (If you're into that), in connecting with others. Not as a teacher, or a therapist, or a know-it-all, but just to make contact and remind people of their inner value. Sometimes all it takes is a willingness to listen. It's as simple as that. But you've got to make the move.

2. We need to find someone to help. Believe it or not, there are people walking around who are in much worse shape than you. Whether it's volunteering at a food bank, a homeless mission, a daycare, a counseling center, a traveler's aid desk, or even helping an elderly neighbor with their chores or shopping -- you gotta get up and get involved with making the world a better place, one person at a time. When you help others get enough to eat, a place to sleep, learn their ABC's, where to get medical help, how to find their way around a strange town, even carry a bag of groceries into an 85-year-old's house, they help you realize your own worth, your skills, your abilities, they make you feel good about yourself, and get you thinking about tomorrow and what you're going to do with what you've got.

Old quotation: The time to be happy is now. The place to be happy is here. The way to be happy is to make others happy.

This works. Give it a try. If you do, you'll be helping me out.
 
Old 07-07-2012, 09:01 AM
 
Location: in a pond with the other human scum
1,891 posts, read 1,972,985 times
Reputation: 2203
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yeledaf View Post
I just stumbled into this thread and followed the first couple of pages then skipped here to the end -- so I apologize for having missed something in the middle pages.

Late-sixties guy here, with a whole of baggage like anyone else, who has ended up slightly on the positive side of things, but not without having suffered a whole lot of hopelessness and failure in my life.

I couldn't help thinking how much I would like to personally meet BigDGeek, VX5650, and ShellNic and just listen to their voices, look at their faces, and let them know how much potential and value they each have. I'm qualified to do so because I'm sure that I'm a whole lot older, more experienced, and uglier than they are.

And I know two secrets.

1. What gives us the confidence to reach out to others and forget about ourselves for a while is the inner spirit that we can feel from people who describe themselves as unhappy, in need, or in pain -- and our realization, because we are outside their frame of reference, that they are truly beautiful and talented, and of such immense value to others. Something that I was taught about halfway through my life --- something which a lot of people on this thread and elsewhere in our culture already know -- is that there is great benefit, mentally, emotionally physically, spiritually (If you're into that), in connecting with others. Not as a teacher, or a therapist, or a know-it-all, but just to make contact and remind people of their inner value. Sometimes all it takes is a willingness to listen. It's as simple as that. But you've got to make the move.

2. We need to find someone to help. Believe it or not, there are people walking around who are in much worse shape than you. Whether it's volunteering at a food bank, a homeless mission, a daycare, a counseling center, a traveler's aid desk, or even helping an elderly neighbor with their chores or shopping -- you gotta get up and get involved with making the world a better place, one person at a time. When you help others get enough to eat, a place to sleep, learn their ABC's, where to get medical help, how to find their way around a strange town, even carry a bag of groceries into an 85-year-old's house, they help you realize your own worth, your skills, your abilities, they make you feel good about yourself, and get you thinking about tomorrow and what you're going to do with what you've got.

Old quotation: The time to be happy is now. The place to be happy is here. The way to be happy is to make others happy.

This works. Give it a try. If you do, you'll be helping me out.
Sigh. Maybe you should have read the rest of the thread, instead of assuming that you had the answer that would cure us all after reading part of it. Didn't you advocate paying attention to others (well, you said "listening to them," but isn't reading what people write online the only way you can "listen" to them?)? You failed your own test.

It speaks of arrogance to assume that we haven't done those things you exhort us to do, that we may not still be doing them, but at some point, we just want to, well, stop caring, especially about the things we're not hard-wired to care about. Maybe we'll stop caring for a day or a week, maybe we can let it go for longer. Maybe for some of us, the path to healing is to heal is to let go of things.

But I think I'm also tired of people like you coming in trying to cure people like me. You're only the latest in a long line of people with various motivations to do so. You raise an anger level in me that, while at first cathartic, eventually wears on me. So preach on. I know I'll just ignore you.
 
Old 07-07-2012, 09:25 AM
 
Location: in a pond with the other human scum
1,891 posts, read 1,972,985 times
Reputation: 2203
Guys, I think we're in a healthier place than the people trying to cure us can perceive. This is not a mass suicide thread-- it's a place where we can share how we feel, recognize the commonalities, and accept each other as we are now. I know I was somewhere between intrigued and thrilled when I first saw the thread title and could so identify with BigDGeek's opening post.

I'll bet many of you are like me and have consumed tons of dead trees in self-help books, spent varying amounts of time with counselors, psychiatrists, psychologists, gurus, LCSWs, and shamans (okay, maybe that was just me), and can discuss the finer points of biochemical reactions to Paxil, Zoloft, Prozac, St. John's Wort, and rattlesnake venom (okay, maybe that was just me). I donated the books to the library and took the meds to the medical recycling place so they wouldn't get into the water supply. I spend the money I used to spend on mental health counseling (ha) on margaritas.

I'm tired of being judged for not living up to my full potential, whatever the ^&%$ that is. That's the judgmental voice of my parents (and many of your parents, too, apparently). "Not caring" can take on different meanings for each of us. For me, it includes not particularly caring whether my insecure boss is in a good place this morning or whether I've stepped on one of the many virtual land mines that constitutes our workplace. It means not worrying about whether the front porch gets painted (again) before summer's end, for fear that the neighbors might disapprove (I know they do). It means not particularly caring about the presidential race, because both parties are branches of the Corporate Party. Heck, I don't care if the US becomes a theocracy, which used to be one of my big bugbears. I won't like it, but then I don't like speed traps, mosquitoes, or people who take it upon themselves to "help" people like me when they aren't invited. (I am kind of amused at the fuss in Louisiana when a Muslim madrassa wanted to take charter school money, as they have a perfect legal right to do under their law)

My sense of outrage over pollution is pretty much gone. My sense of outrage generally is ebbing. I try to spend as much of my day as possible doing things that please me. Not things that are good for me, unless they also make me happier. I will care less and less about the greater world, because 60 years of living has taught me that the world doesn't particularly care about me. I'm not angry about that-- it's just the way it is, and my reaction is perfectly reciprocal.

I need to stop caring about people like imcurious and this latest one, but that's evidently a work in progress. I am jealously protective about my right not to be improved. (edit-- ok, I admit to a degree of schadenfreude when I see people like imcurious who are so evidently upset/annoyed/irate at people like us. One of my small pleasures is annoying people who, in my opinion, need to be annoyed.)
 
Old 07-07-2012, 09:43 AM
 
Location: Oklahoma
209 posts, read 117,422 times
Reputation: 85
BigDGeek:
"Realizing now that I can't have it (why is another thread entirely and yes, I am somewhat bitter about it), I've stopped caring about most things. This has been going on for years and has steadily gotten worse. I don't care about my future health even though I work out and eat healthy. I do this to stay skinny, not because I want to be healthy. I'm actually not healthy at all. I'm weak, tired, and underweight. But I don't care. Long as I'm not fat."

One simple thing you could do to help yourself - make sure you don't have low blood sugar. Simply get enough protein in you meals for starters...add veggies and fruit and you won't gain any weight. Eat every 2-3 hours. Stay away from sweets, simple carbs and alcohol, as they increase Low Blood Sugar. Eating this new way - taking in fuel for your body, and, importantly, your brain - prevents a Low Blood Sugar situation. Low Blood Sugar can make a person depressed, apathetic, but also anxious. You won't always feel like you are hungry with Low Blood Sugar, so you can't base it on hunger pangs. Try this new eating routine for a while and see if your interest in Life doesn't perk up. It is the easiest step to take right now for your situation.
 
Old 07-07-2012, 09:45 AM
 
Location: Oklahoma
209 posts, read 117,422 times
Reputation: 85
Oh yeah, watch your caffeine intake, too. Coffee, etc., will crash your Blood Sugar. Eat something AFTER your coffee!
 
Old 07-07-2012, 09:56 AM
 
Location: Oklahoma
209 posts, read 117,422 times
Reputation: 85
Don't get me wrong - I'm not saying fixing one's Blood Sugar Levels is the answer to everything upsetting you are going through. What it does do, is begin to eliminate any chemical situation in your body - due to lack of proper fuel for your brain and body to function - that may be enhancing your emotions. Once you get your Blood Sugar Levels in order, it becomes a tool, not a hinderance, for you to address what you need to fix, change, etc., in your life that is not making you happy...You can think better to figure out the next step you need to take to help yourself..
 
Old 07-07-2012, 10:09 AM
 
Location: In a state of denial
1,289 posts, read 2,727,806 times
Reputation: 942
Quote:
Originally Posted by cyrano View Post
Guys, I think we're in a healthier place than the people trying to cure us can perceive. This is not a mass suicide thread-- it's a place where we can share how we feel, recognize the commonalities, and accept each other as we are now. I know I was somewhere between intrigued and thrilled when I first saw the thread title and could so identify with BigDGeek's opening post.

I'll bet many of you are like me and have consumed tons of dead trees in self-help books, spent varying amounts of time with counselors, psychiatrists, psychologists, gurus, LCSWs, and shamans (okay, maybe that was just me), and can discuss the finer points of biochemical reactions to Paxil, Zoloft, Prozac, St. John's Wort, and rattlesnake venom (okay, maybe that was just me). I donated the books to the library and took the meds to the medical recycling place so they wouldn't get into the water supply. I spend the money I used to spend on mental health counseling (ha) on margaritas.

I'm tired of being judged for not living up to my full potential, whatever the ^&%$ that is. That's the judgmental voice of my parents (and many of your parents, too, apparently). "Not caring" can take on different meanings for each of us. For me, it includes not particularly caring whether my insecure boss is in a good place this morning or whether I've stepped on one of the many virtual land mines that constitutes our workplace. It means not worrying about whether the front porch gets painted (again) before summer's end, for fear that the neighbors might disapprove (I know they do). It means not particularly caring about the presidential race, because both parties are branches of the Corporate Party. Heck, I don't care if the US becomes a theocracy, which used to be one of my big bugbears. I won't like it, but then I don't like speed traps, mosquitoes, or people who take it upon themselves to "help" people like me when they aren't invited. (I am kind of amused at the fuss in Louisiana when a Muslim madrassa wanted to take charter school money, as they have a perfect legal right to do under their law)

My sense of outrage over pollution is pretty much gone. My sense of outrage generally is ebbing. I try to spend as much of my day as possible doing things that please me. Not things that are good for me, unless they also make me happier. I will care less and less about the greater world, because 60 years of living has taught me that the world doesn't particularly care about me. I'm not angry about that-- it's just the way it is, and my reaction is perfectly reciprocal.

I need to stop caring about people like imcurious and this latest one, but that's evidently a work in progress. I am jealously protective about my right not to be improved. (edit-- ok, I admit to a degree of schadenfreude when I see people like imcurious who are so evidently upset/annoyed/irate at people like us. One of my small pleasures is annoying people who, in my opinion, need to be annoyed.)
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