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Old 07-30-2012, 08:38 AM
64 posts, read 228,251 times
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I noticed I was having suicidal thoughts the other day. Not anything dramatic, just sort of "I wish I could just erase myself. I would like to die" variety. I know this is not normal.

I posted elsewhere that my sex drive is gone. My gyno says there is nothing hormonally amiss. I am otherwise a healthy, attractive, smart woman in her mid 30s. But I just feel hopeless.

I make a very good living, but dread work. Its not the job so much as the getting out of bed. I know that I could find something else but I am not motivated. I feel tired all the time. When I get a cold, it lingers.

I am in a relationship, but I don't enjoy it lately. I really find that I want to be alone ALL the time-- nothing to do with my partner. In fact, the other night I was thinking that if we weren't together, I would never want to go out or meet anyone else. I find it difficult to even carry on conversations with strangers in normal social interaction. While at work, I am on autopilot, but get me outside and it all dries up. Mind you-- I used to love going out to be social and mingling. But I dread the thought of it. I envision a future in which I am completely alone-- no family, no friends, no SO. That seems normal right now, even preferable.

Classic depression, right? Trouble is that its crept up on me. Everything I feel seems typical- the isolation, the suicidal thoughts, the lack of energy. Its become part of my daily fabric. I struggled with depression when I was younger and it was always much more pronounced. This is subtle and its difficult to get perspective I should probably find a therapist, but that takes time. to build the relationship and start seeing results.

Does anyone have similar experiences and suggestions on how to kick start some healthier thinking?
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Old 07-30-2012, 10:54 AM
4,762 posts, read 11,692,463 times
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I think the best thing I ever learned was one of the causes of depression. That is called a "double bind" situation.

You are damned if you do and damned if you don't.

Maybe being financially dependent on someone who is also abusive. Remain in that relationship and you get more abuse. Leave the relationship and then lose the financial support. Either choice is bad.

Or I have seen some places of employment which are abusive (not fun). Leave work for your own mental health, then lose the income. Stay and continue to be in an abusive environment.

I prefer to recognize these situations, then do whatever I can to get out of them. Not easy sometimes, but I sure feel a LOT better when I do get out of the situation.

So that has been the biggest help in my life for avoiding depression. Recognizing unhealthy situations. Then doing something about it.

There are many things which can be done to help in these situations.

1. Go to your regular medical doctor and say you are depressed. Perhaps he/she could prescribe an anti-depressant and/or refer you to someone who could.

2. Look up counseling in the phone book and call someone.

3. If a financial problem like a car payment which is too expensive, maybe getting rid of the car and taking the city bus could be done? Maybe get rides to work?

4. If the rent is too expensive, maybe somewhere less expensive could be found?

5. If a friend I hang around with is causing me more pain than fun times, I can dump the friend and find more healthy friends to hang around with. Maybe volunteer for a charity or working with kids. People who volunteer are uplifting people. Kids can make anyone smile! Maybe do some babysitting?

6. If work is the problem, sometimes that situation, so far as you are concerned, can be changed. Counseling in this situation can be a BIG help, especially if there is a particular person who is a jerk at work and you have to deal with that person daily. Maybe some assertiveness training and learning to say NO! sometimes can do the trick.

7. If you like dogs and cats, maybe there is an animal shelter you could do volunteer work at?

8. Also maybe make a list. Two columns. First column things which make you happy and are fun. Second column things which make you sad, cause you pain, and are not fun. Then do more of the fun things, less of the not so fun things. Something as simple as that might work wonders!

Take care!

Last edited by Billy_J; 07-30-2012 at 11:16 AM..
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