U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Covid-19 Information Page
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Health and Wellness > Mental Health
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
View Poll Results: Is there a such thing as a normal life?
Yes there is a such thing as normal/standard. 19 55.88%
No there's no such thing as normal/standard. 15 44.12%
Voters: 34. You may not vote on this poll

Reply Start New Thread
Old 08-07-2012, 06:40 PM
Location: New Jersey
8,712 posts, read 10,293,832 times
Reputation: 7553


Originally Posted by Niftybergin View Post
I like to say that the only normal people are the ones you don't know very well, but what I mean by that is that under the surface, we're all ABNORMAL in some way or another. Yes, there are behavioral and societal norms. I truly believe that most of us are, generally speaking, normal. I'm normal: I have a job, a dog, a budget, a car, have been divorced, went to college, like to go to the movies, catch up on my sleep on the weekends, don't save enough money, laugh at dirty jokes, have the occasional issue with my parents, read books, do crossword puzzles, dream of traveling.... Normal. But underneath, I'm also ABNORMAL in lots of ways, and I know this. I accept it, and I'm okay with it, because I know that normal does not automatically equate with "good" anymore than abnormal automatically equates with "bad."

I think people are too hard on themselves, too caught up in comparisons to other people, too preoccupied with an idea that they SHOULD be one way or another because that's how EVERYONE else is.
that's very true everyone has their little issues or whatever. i guess i used to always want a 'normal' life based on what I seen. Since I'm unable to have that or fit in with it. What is the point? IMO, I shouldn't bother wasting anymore time here, here's nothing at all here for me.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

Old 08-07-2012, 06:42 PM
Location: New Jersey
8,712 posts, read 10,293,832 times
Reputation: 7553
Originally Posted by AnonChick View Post
You're reading into that poster's post, something she didn't say. Her criticism is of the -word- "Normal." Not the meaning of the concept "Normal." The word itself has acquired baggage. And so, many mental health professionals avoid using that word. They use other words to describe normal, but they still -do- describe normal, and it is not hush hush, no one is trying to sweep it under the rug.

Sort of like at one point it became impolite to call black people Negroes. They didn't stop being Negro, which is just a latin word for "black" but acquired a negative connotation. They just stopped wanting people to call them by that word. And so, that word fell out of favor amongst them, and most everyone else. Negro -still- means "black." It's french, and spanish, and latin, for the color black. It's a perfectly good word, and a perfectly useful word. Just like normal is a perfectly fine word. But people who aren't normal, don't like being called abnormal, and don't want to be reminded that they're not normal. So mental health professionals avoid using the word.

Guess what - they're still not normal

I don't want to talk about black people, enough of that in the politics section. there's tons of examples for some reason to use, black people always comes up for no reason at all....Anyways I wasn't inferring anything by her ideas about the 'word' normal. Just saying I beleive there is a such thing as normal and I actually agreed with her that normal is a loaded word.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-07-2012, 07:49 PM
26,157 posts, read 16,106,464 times
Reputation: 17235
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes
i notice a lot of people say 'there is no such thing as normal,
They are correct!!


It means jack...... Do what feels good TO YOU dont worry about society!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-08-2012, 09:27 PM
Location: New Jersey
8,712 posts, read 10,293,832 times
Reputation: 7553
who else thinks about DEATH every single day?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-09-2012, 11:54 AM
2,399 posts, read 2,760,528 times
Reputation: 1204
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
who else thinks about DEATH every single day?
I like what ImCurious mentioned about subsituting normal for "functional."
I'd also add maybe... "understandable."

My dad has a considerable fear of death, I think, although it's getting better.
It's easy to understand why he has this fear because when he was little, his brother & he were at a funeral viewing & his brother made the dead body move to scare him as a joke. This freaked him out & I'm sure lent to his fear of death. Also, his father died pretty young & other grandmas did too - & it seemed like years ago, the elderly died while being cared at home, so maybe he witnessed that too.

None of us will get out of this world alive.
Death is inevitable. Is it most functional to accept this, to deny it, or to obsess about it?
I'd say it's most functional to both accept & not focus on it too much.
But to do that, if your past dictates a strong fear, requires some soul-searching understanding.

As I was discussing with someone this morning... some people can be real a-holes.
But if we understood, I mean really understood them, we'd understand why they act as they do.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-12-2012, 11:00 PM
Location: Los Angeles area
14,017 posts, read 18,342,861 times
Reputation: 32398
What is considered normal varies with time and place. When I was growing up in the early 1950's it was pretty normal to smoke. Not everyone smoked, of course, but about half of adults did. Now it is somewhat abnormal to smoke; smokers have to go outside of most pulbic buildings in indulge their habit, and cannot do so at all on airplanes. The societal norm has changed with regard to smoking.

What individuals think of as normal can be specific to each one. For example, heavy drinkers tend to choose other heavy drinkers as friends, thus making it seem "normal" to drink heavily. They just look around them and note that "everybody" is drinking at that level.

Having said all that about the relativity of normalcy, I still believe there are objective ways to look at being normal. It is not "normal" at all, for example, to shoot up a movie theatre and kill strangers at random. That is sick and we should have no hesitation in so labeling it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-15-2012, 05:28 AM
Location: Missouri, USA
4,903 posts, read 3,233,313 times
Reputation: 2301
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
i notice a lot of people say 'there is no such thing as normal,' just because there's some oddballs in the world like myself or others.... but imo there is a such thing as normal: dating as a teen, dating/partying in college, getting married, having children. it's the reason you see this pattern played out all over societies and with different religions, backgrounds etc. not sure why people 'pretend there is no normal or standard' when clearly there is? if you veer far off the path of 'normal' they certainly notice, don't they? where do you stand on this.
Probably because we have a society which views the word "normal" in a negative light, which stems from an individualist society in which we are all the heroes of our own stories.

Normal is bad, so no one wants to be normal, so no one claims to be normal. Abnormal means fun things, like Einstein, with his abnormal brain structure, or Ray Charles's musical skill. Nevermind the people born without arms or who cannot experience pleasure from music.

I talk to myself when concentrating...in public...at work...where I work with the public. This is either quite normal, or there is no normal. There are no other options, because anything else would be depressing

Now, while I am less realistically normal than most people, I may be more normal than you, and so I become jealous, because that seems to me to mean that you are somehow more special than I am...so therefore...you are either normal, or no one else is normal either. Haha! It's mine now! No one is more special than I am, but I am not alone either! Haha!

It's probably the exact same reason why many people emphasize a belief in something called a god. People can have a system of morality and experience a guiding force without a belief in a god. Buddhists and Taoists do it all the time. But a belief in a god is a good thing, so therefore everyone has it, except for a few wild folks.

Last edited by Clintone; 08-15-2012 at 06:03 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-16-2012, 02:34 AM
Location: where people are either too stupid to leave or too stuck to move
3,986 posts, read 5,908,127 times
Reputation: 3645
There is such thing as normal . It depends on certain things but everyone knows it exists
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-16-2012, 07:44 AM
Location: PA
838 posts, read 1,067,590 times
Reputation: 1765
What's normal in one person's world may be totally abnormal in another person's world. Take the city folk, country folk analogy. Mix in the suburban mindset. Can you honestly say the way of people from one demographic should be considered the "norm". What you described as your norm is a very white, suburban norm, especially from the coastal areas of the country.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 08-16-2012, 07:12 PM
Location: FL
1,727 posts, read 2,243,316 times
Reputation: 1047
I'm on the "no such thing as normal" side.
Sure, there might be traits and behaviors that are more comment and more accepted, but everybody has their quirks their "abnormalities". Everybody.
I actually kind of hate the word "normal". It reminds me too much of people's need to achieve some type of perfection. We are supposed to be different from eachother.

Yes, some behaviors are unacceptable for living in society. But other than that, if someone is "different" than what is considered to be the norm. So what?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.

Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Health and Wellness > Mental Health
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2020, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top