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Old 08-11-2012, 09:20 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VelcroQueen View Post
-- in a little pain right now and hoping sleep will help.
This worries me.
What kind of pain do you mean?
Can you get away from your abuser? If so, will you?
Are you caring for your mother?

I can relate with neglect & verbal abuse - & feeling insignificant & to blame for too much.
I'm determined to heal - to reprogram my subconscious - so I am more mentally & emotionally healthy.
I think that every person is significant - & makes a difference.
Even my friend who can't do much for himself, is teaching others to learn to love & be less judgmental.

Shame is a little harder to sort through - because nobody's perfect, so we can't say, "I never have anything to be ashamed about."
Yet, continuing to feel ashamed about things that are not our fault, or that are based on ridiculous lies is being abusive to ourselves.
Or to expect too much from ourselves, or to allow others to be repeatedly disrespectful to us with out doing anything, is also not a very nice way to treat ourselves.

Last edited by SuperSoul; 08-11-2012 at 09:35 PM..
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Old 08-11-2012, 10:05 PM
 
Location: West Coast USA
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I am So Sorry, SuperSoul! I have been away from her for many, many years now. I am my own abuser this time -- I fell and messed up my face and mouth -- or, at least that's all that's hurting now.

I am working my way through some books right now, hoping I am seeing the end of this "tunnel." My dental appt on Wednesday will help!
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Old 08-11-2012, 10:10 PM
 
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I married a verbally abused man and when we divorce he got cancer and I had to go thru a lot of grief, even though he was abusive.

It surprised me how much I grieved over him.
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Old 08-14-2012, 12:48 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VelcroQueen View Post
I am So Sorry, SuperSoul! I have been away from her for many, many years now. I am my own abuser this time --
Thanks for clarifying that.
I guess, when it comes to relationships that are voluntary (which most are in a free country)...
We are primarily responsible for our own care.
Yet, if for some reason, we got programmed the idea that we deserved abuse, we might look for abuse as if it was a familiar home.

It's really interesting how I keep coming across this idea of loving ourselves - & specifically how to do that.
For me, deep breathing is probably the most common loving thing I can do for myself.


Mayita,
It seems like love and hate are often too intermingled to be able to distinguish each.
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