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Old 08-21-2012, 09:50 PM
Location: Mostly in my head
19,865 posts, read 57,932,128 times
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A regular schedule for meals, sleep and meds is critical! Don't ever let her body get out of whack by staying up late, skipping a meal, taking her meds 2 hrs late, etc. I cannot empgasize this enough. I have seen too many patients who thought "just this once" they could skip something and then they have to be hospitalized again. It is a slippery slope

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Old 08-22-2012, 07:15 PM
16,053 posts, read 20,651,427 times
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Originally Posted by greywar View Post
My wife has been on meds for the last decade for rapid cycling bi-polar. You cant really tell except that she has boundary issues with folks. I love her dearly.

The last few days she has been getting manic. And not just a little a LOT. Today however it went overboard, she started talking about how I wasn't a god, but i would be, screaming for people to listen to her, that they didn't understand, but they would. Oh and her phone was a emerging AI. And that she wanted me to back it up, and not allow it to update ever.

Then it got worse. Lots of screaming, threats to break our promises to each other if I didn't listen. And the listening....just didn't make sense. She asked me if I understood, told me of course I didn't, not now, but I would. That now she was formal, swore she would stop screaming on her fathers grave, etc...the proceeded to do more. This went on for HOURS. I tried to redirect her, in the hopes that maybe we could get her help on our own and resolve it...that wasn't happening.

I could go on. Suffice it to say my wife lost it. I called for help, while she was screaming this stuff. The 911 operator asked me to go to another room. When I did and closed the door she started beating on the door. It was like a scene from psycho. She then left before the police arrived.

The police arrive, look for her in the back yard, then we see a neighbor bringing her to the cops. She was screaming at him about if he understood. He did understand...that she was probably the person the police and ambulance were for.

So The police took her away in an ambulance, they had to restrain her apparently. The emergency room sedated her and are trying to get her into the psych ward Monday morning. This has been one of her biggest fears was being sent there...but I honestly didn't know what else to do. I have no idea if she will ever forgive me. I have no idea if she can get OK. These are the things that terrify me.

So they sedated her at 5, about 4-5 hrs later she calls, she wants me to take her home, and to bring her her phone as she has to ask the AI some questions. She insists she is alright, and I will understand. And that if I ask our housemate that she can explain it all. (our housemates answer is-shes crazy and i am moving out).

So...my kids were supposed to come back from visiting their mom for the summer today. I called her and asked her to keep them for a couple days as wife had a medical issue. Wifes two older sons (one just turned 18) were present for the beginning of this. they're old enough to survive, but a tad traumatized.

She is in the hospital, they will do a mental eval and keep her 1-5 days. I don't know what happens then.

So...I don't know whats next, or how this story will end. I love my wife and will stand by her.

Anyone have any advice or experiences to help me understand how this might go?
At times calling the folks that you have too is the worst feeling in the world. Right now you are questioning what you did, probably feeling like you let her down, not knowing how to save her from this episode. the truth is, you did what you had to. The professionals will be able to assess her, and honestly she is safer and will get the help she needs now. I do not have personal experience, but some professional training and my son's ex had many episodes, first w/out my ever knowing....until my son needed help defending himself against false charges. IT was a total nightmare, w/ my daughter in law going out nightly, drinking and mixing alcohol w/ the meds she had been prescribed....it was a horrific summer long chaotic nightmare. I learned my poor son had been going through being hit, things thrown at him and very weird other events, not wanting to tell me out of embarrassment. Think of it this way...Thank goodness she did this when you were there to call for help...Sometimes people who are mentally ill can be in very vulnerable places when they have an episode like this. I know there are some great helpful websites related to our loved ones having mental illness. I would think there would be some great support. Also, listen to the social workers and professionals where your wife is, they will guide you as they did my son. You will be part of the planning and treatment and decision making. Do what is best for your wife medically. You love her...love her enough to do the right things and get her the professional care she needs. Both of your lives will benefit from the medical help. Good luck to you, and god bless you and keep you safe and strong....ALL of you.
Here is a great website...National Alliance for the Mentally, NAMI.
Very helpful to the individual and the families and friends of mentally ill folks.
NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness - Mental Health Support, Education and Advocacy

WEBMD gives good insights into symptoms, medical management...etc...
WebMD - Better information. Better health.

A website geared to helping you find local mental health support..Mental Health America: How do I find a local support group?

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Old 09-06-2012, 04:34 PM
26,450 posts, read 13,619,014 times
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Originally Posted by brava4 View Post
Also, remember that what you see and say is "you really can't tell, except for a boundry issue" is not what other people see. I work with families of psychiatric patients and many behaviors become the "norm" when in society they are not the "norm". So, she has a bit of a boundary issue.... well, that boundary issue can cause a huge problem, on many levels.

You say this has been going on for a decade and you are asking what is next? With the description I would think her being on a psych unit is not the first time. The best thing for you and her and both of your sanity, make sure she takes her meds. Really, this is top priority and the when she starts in with... "I don't feel I need them, I feel great..." THAT is when she needs them even more.

Does she see a psychiatrist regularly? I hope things settle down. This is very difficult to live with and VERY hard for children to see and live with on a daily basis. Remember, this is not just about her, but the ENTIRE family. It EFFECTS everyone.
Came to give a quick and final update, and read what you said. I figured I would respond.

Boundary issues are...she is sometimes overly friendly. She talks to strangers-something I dont do. Generally it works out well. Thats what I mean by boundary issues. It can cause her problems.

This IS her first time, by decades, I mean she has been this way all her life, and the meds control it extremely well. She NEVER says "I dont need them", thats far from a problem ever. But the problem here is she forgot, then took too many. Which REALLY messed with her.

She now has a weekly appt with a psych, although she isn't sure if she is comfortable with him-in which case we will find a different one.

Anyways final update for folks who have read this. She is home, doing fine. On her meds. She has agreed to change some things that contributed to the issue, IE no more art contracts with people, she will do her art on her schedule. I thank everyone who has commented, Yes everyone.

Also for those curious she was VERY much in agreement on what I did, so that wasnt something I should have stressed about so much.

Last edited by greywar; 09-06-2012 at 04:36 PM.. Reason: added another paragraph at end
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Old 09-07-2012, 05:30 PM
Location: Wisconsin
18,254 posts, read 18,854,245 times
Reputation: 45513
Thank you very much for your update.

I am glad that your wife is doing well and I
am sure that other readers are glad as well.

Good luck in the future.
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Old 09-07-2012, 05:43 PM
Location: southern born and southern bred
12,478 posts, read 15,445,288 times
Reputation: 19530
thanks for the update. SO glad to hear she's better!!! You're a good spouse!
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Old 09-08-2012, 02:57 PM
Location: somewhere in the swamps of Jersey
513 posts, read 1,017,255 times
Reputation: 356
Family is such a big part of treatment for anyone with an issue like your wife. I'm happy to hear that things are getting better for both of you.
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Old 09-08-2012, 03:10 PM
4,761 posts, read 5,052,033 times
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Glad to hear things are going better.
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Old 09-09-2012, 09:26 AM
Location: St. Louis
9,970 posts, read 17,880,986 times
Reputation: 14272
OP I"m glad it's better and she's lucky to have you.
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Old 09-09-2012, 09:29 AM
Location: Mayberry
32,451 posts, read 13,436,477 times
Reputation: 68685
Thanks for the update! So glad things are getting under control!! Yes she is very lucky to have you!
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Old 09-09-2012, 09:39 AM
Location: Philaburbia
33,089 posts, read 61,934,696 times
Reputation: 55533
She is home, doing fine. On her meds. She has agreed to change some things that contributed to the issue,
Good news. Best to both of you as she recovers (and you, too!).

she was VERY much in agreement on what I did, so that wasnt something I should have stressed about so much.
It's never easy to see someone you love in so much pain. You've been through some trauma as well; take care of yourself.
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