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Old 08-31-2012, 04:52 PM
 
Location: Western NY
559 posts, read 1,230,319 times
Reputation: 556

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There are some great suggestions here. I also want to suggest taking classes in whatever interests you - maybe jewelry making classes at Michael's or AC Moore, foreign language classes, maybe sewing classes at Jo Ann Fabrics, workshops at Home Depot, cooking classes at a local grocery store.......... Those are possibilities for making friends, and ways to be around people.
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Old 08-31-2012, 07:20 PM
 
Location: North Jersey
16 posts, read 20,128 times
Reputation: 44
I am female, age 58. I am divorced many years and didn't have children. I use to think that if I had children things would have turned out better but it isn't necessarily so. I often see parents and children that are living in different areas of the country or are estranged. I spent many years really alone and looking for friends. After all these many years I finally found an activity that I thoroughly enjoy. I haven't met any friends yet but am hopeful that will come in time. At least the activity keeps me occupied and around people and makes me feel that I can build a new life for myself. I also found senior citizens apartments close by to me. Even though I am too young right now for it, it made me feel better that I found a place to live someday where there will be organized activities.
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Old 09-01-2012, 02:14 PM
 
13,965 posts, read 26,537,468 times
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Depression can feel a lot like lonely, not the other way around.
I think good company always trumps alone, but bad company is a nightmare. I wish for more good company in my life, but don't relate that to family/children/husband/whatever. Company is company, whatever form it comes in.
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Old 09-01-2012, 08:19 PM
 
2,960 posts, read 894,502 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ColorMyWorld View Post
I am female, age 58. I am divorced many years and didn't have children. I use to think that if I had children things would have turned out better but it isn't necessarily so. I often see parents and children that are living in different areas of the country or are estranged. I spent many years really alone and looking for friends. After all these many years I finally found an activity that I thoroughly enjoy. I haven't met any friends yet but am hopeful that will come in time. At least the activity keeps me occupied and around people and makes me feel that I can build a new life for myself. I also found senior citizens apartments close by to me. Even though I am too young right now for it, it made me feel better that I found a place to live someday where there will be organized activities.
Can you share what the activity is?

And I agree that children aren't necessarily the answer to fulfilling social/friendship needs...
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Old 09-03-2012, 06:43 PM
 
Location: North Jersey
16 posts, read 20,128 times
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I often hear of people leading fulfilling lives who are affiliated with a church. Since I don't have a religous background, interest, or understanding, I discovered the Unitarian Society. It is a non-sectarian group and I find their mission to be quite appealing to me. The also have a solo group for people living on their own which I will be trying shortly as well as many convenant groups.
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Old 09-04-2012, 06:18 PM
 
Location: Here
4 posts, read 20,890 times
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I wish it did, instead of forcing you to live surrounded by strangers.
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Old 09-05-2012, 02:53 PM
 
Location: North Texas
24,577 posts, read 34,233,458 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy_J View Post
You have recognized the problem - finding friends. So just switch that around and spend all your free time on finding a solution.

So the question is how and where can you find friends?

That leads to where do people get together and meet?

Now we can come up with a list...

Volunteer groups.
Hiking groups.
Pet/animal groups.
Game playing groups.
Museum or historical groups.
City/County/Government committees or boards which are composed of citizen volunteers.
Church groups.
Clubs.
Etc.

There are all sorts of different things for which people get together and meet.

It is election time. You could volunteer to work in a campaign office - tons of people there!

Anyway write down ALL of your interests. ANYTHING you might be interested in. Then search for and find groups or organizations in your area for those which have meetings or need volunteers. Go to all those meetings.

In my area there are museums which are staffed by volunteers. They give tours or help.

The U.S. Forest Service (Under USDA in phone book) has group hikes - just sign up.

Habitat for Humanity helps build homes for people - all volunteers. Many tasks involved with this including paperwork or working at a store - opportunity to meet a lot of people.

There are volunteer staffed pet shelters - work with pets and meet other people.

The city, county, and state have citizen committees on every topic you can imagine - they want citizen input from these committees. Call and ask if they have any volunteer openings.

So far as kids, some people have kids and have trouble finding someone who wants to have a relationship with them. Might post an ad on craigslist.org in the personals section. Say you like kids and say what things you like to do.

Perhaps you could become a foster parent? There are a lot of rotten parents out there and the state has removed the kids from their homes. Might want to call around various state agencies and find out which agency removes kids from homes. (Different states will have different names for these departments.) Find out if there are volunteer opportunities? Being a foster parent? Etc. Be aware many of these kids have emotional problems.

I know a lady who was not married and became a foster parent of a kid. She later adopted him. And he is now in her will.
I'm a lonely loner and I've tried most of this...didn't work.

Some of us were put on this earth to be miserable and alone...I'm one of them. People treat me like crap no matter what, no matter where.
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Old 09-05-2012, 07:05 PM
 
Location: SC Foothills
8,831 posts, read 10,238,278 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BigDGeek View Post
I'm a lonely loner and I've tried most of this...didn't work.

Some of us were put on this earth to be miserable and alone...I'm one of them. People treat me like crap no matter what, no matter where.
I'm about as depressed and lonely as one can get but dude, you can't possibly have tried everything that was listed, especially if you're a loner. I'm not interested in most of it either because I'm not into the "group" thing, but I am going to try volunteering somewhere that has more animals than people. I won't pretend to try and cheer you up because I'm not much in the mood and in need of cheering up myself, but there is SOMETHING out there for you too. Your best bet to meet people who won't treat you like crap is volunteering at a place where other people are volunteers too......more chance that they have good hearts and want nothing from you.

There are a lot of us out here who are extremely lonely, and you already know that will not change unless we take the first step to do something about it. I don't feel like it, but the loneliness has become so unbearable that I have no choice. It's either that or commit suicide, and I can't be that selfish right now. Another stay in the mental hospital does nothing either, except make you realize how bad you want to get out of there.

You weren't put here to miserable and lonely, it just happens sometimes. You and I both know we're the only ones who can do something about it.
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Old 09-05-2012, 09:56 PM
 
Location: North Texas
24,577 posts, read 34,233,458 times
Reputation: 28402
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ilene Wright View Post
I'm about as depressed and lonely as one can get but dude, you can't possibly have tried everything that was listed, especially if you're a loner. I'm not interested in most of it either because I'm not into the "group" thing, but I am going to try volunteering somewhere that has more animals than people. I won't pretend to try and cheer you up because I'm not much in the mood and in need of cheering up myself, but there is SOMETHING out there for you too. Your best bet to meet people who won't treat you like crap is volunteering at a place where other people are volunteers too......more chance that they have good hearts and want nothing from you.

There are a lot of us out here who are extremely lonely, and you already know that will not change unless we take the first step to do something about it. I don't feel like it, but the loneliness has become so unbearable that I have no choice. It's either that or commit suicide, and I can't be that selfish right now. Another stay in the mental hospital does nothing either, except make you realize how bad you want to get out of there.

You weren't put here to miserable and lonely, it just happens sometimes. You and I both know we're the only ones who can do something about it.
I said I tried most of that stuff. I'm not lying.

Like I said, some of us were put here just to be miserable and to be pooped on by life.
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Old 09-06-2012, 08:31 AM
 
Location: SC Foothills
8,831 posts, read 10,238,278 times
Reputation: 58216
Then I don't know what to say to you, if you're not willing to take risks and do something about your situation then yeah, things will stay the same. And as far as being "put" here, we weren't. Life is a crap shoot and yes some of us are handed raw deals but this is the only life we get, there is no grand afterlife and there is no god who "put" you here and is punishing you. This is it. I get that you're depressed and mad at the world and if you're perfectly fine being all alone and miserable then ok, but I plan to try and change things for myself. YOU have to do it, it's not going to fall in your lap. I have been dumped on and treated horribly in so many unimaginable ways but I know that somewhere out there are still good people who care. I was always looking in the wrong places so I take some responsibility for it, except for the family members that hurt me, that's on them. Don't give up.
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