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Old 05-17-2018, 03:28 PM
Location: NorCal
260 posts, read 177,303 times
Reputation: 352


Thought I was the only one who feels this way, glad I'm not. I think in a way I yearn for a small, select group of good, trustworthy friends. In small doses I can tolerate that, but get frustrated or burned out with it easily. I've never been much of a social person. I think it has to do with my childhood. My Mom is the only family member I ever knew, she emigrated to the US from Germany by herself and never had family here and never got married. I never knew my Dad or his side of the family. Before age 10, Mom became an alcoholic and the older I got, the more I avoided her. Think all of this caused me to be a bit socially awkward, not really shy, but definitely an introvert.
Perhaps all of in here that 'get it' should get together and spend some alone time together. :-)
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Old 05-17-2018, 03:31 PM
6,638 posts, read 3,755,955 times
Reputation: 10530
I am married, 2 kids, 58 y.o. If I went back in time I'd do it all over again.

But, I am an anti-social introvert that does not need people in my life. I say that with honesty, and as such, to the O.P. from many years ago I'd say perfectly normal not to desire anyone in your life other than yourself. There is no harm living in a world of acquaintances.
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Old 05-23-2018, 10:53 PM
383 posts, read 247,242 times
Reputation: 1021
Being independent and desiring solitude are positive traits. Leaders and creative people have these characteristics. If I make a mistake as an introvert/loner, I take responsibility and move on. Extroverts seek approval and seem to need attention or find fault. How fortunate to be older, self -sufficient senior and not have to be around the 'breaking news" crowd.
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Old 01-11-2019, 05:55 PM
245 posts, read 91,495 times
Reputation: 1003
Originally Posted by Singleton 1955 View Post
I understand completely. I have had too many disappointments with friends and family so I too feel like you. I need to protect myself and think that 'people who need people are the luckiest people' is not true.
That's how I am as well. I've always been a very independent, self-reliant person. I enjoy life just fine without a gaggle of people following me around while I do things. I've always been a loner and always will be.

At a certain age, your tolerance for people's BS drops, and you realize that the effort needed to maintain relationships usually isn't worth it. Most people are fake and put on a front when they are around you.
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Old 01-11-2019, 08:06 PM
Status: "Keep It SIMPLE!!" (set 6 days ago)
Location: Southern California
26,341 posts, read 9,876,092 times
Reputation: 17040
Blue Wave: I've always had friends and over my lifetime many acquaintances and as I've gotten older I need to pretty much have like minded people in my life. I don't have patience for small nothing talk. Surely don't want it. I like my own company.
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Old 01-12-2019, 01:33 PM
1,803 posts, read 1,001,526 times
Reputation: 2589
I always said, "family is overrated and not always kind to you". Then my mom died and my world was forever changed. The pain was unlike anything I ever knew.

I would always suggest - at least with parents - to try to have them in your life, assuming they are not abusive or horrible people.
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Old 01-12-2019, 01:50 PM
Location: on the wind
9,643 posts, read 4,284,240 times
Reputation: 32458
Of course there are so many reasons why anyone might decide to cut someone else out of their life. How can anyone answer this vague question? As many exceptions as there are justifications. One thing to consider. Even if you are content as a loner, you can roll that way without actively rejecting, eliminating, or repelling everyone else.

At some point in everyone's life another person will probably be necessary. If you have burned all your bridges and left everyone with a sour taste in their mouth, no one will show up right when you decide you expect or want them to. You have to accept right where to lay the blame for that. If you are on decent terms with those other people (but choose not to actively engage all the time) they probably will show up.

How many times do we hear "loners" complain that all they want is peace in their life, but then they follow up that statement with lists of injustices, insults, prejudices, slights, and fights they have with everyone. So much for PEACE! Their minds are clogged with little minus marks on some personal scorecard.

I am a loner, always have been. However, in the back of my mind I know I don't have unfinished business left hanging anywhere. I don't have to spend any energy cultivating or maintaining little spites or grudges. Be on the defensive, search for the little weak spots in my beloved walls that might expose me. Instead, there's nothing to defend. The view of the world is a lot better without a wall. Guess my view is that it's better to have a little savings account with other people than to throw it all away.

Last edited by Parnassia; 01-12-2019 at 02:11 PM..
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Old 01-14-2019, 10:41 AM
3,323 posts, read 2,227,824 times
Reputation: 6751
Originally Posted by Billy_J View Post
It is *your* life. You can do as you wish.

I see a LOT of people these days living their lives the way they think other people would approve of. These people will ask on the internet (in so many words) what they "think" of such and so car or whatever. Then I assume they buy a car which the other people approve of the most? If a car is not "liked" by other people, then I assume they would not buy it?

Anyway that is silly.
Not necessarily. Someone might want to know if a car has been found comfortable or reliable.

To the OP: if it doesn't bother you to be alone, fine. But I suspect it might.
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Old 01-14-2019, 10:50 AM
Location: in a rocker on the porch.
23,893 posts, read 20,311,246 times
Reputation: 22975
I'm a loner because I was brought up an only child. Now that I AM all alone in the world, I don't mind it very much. I know a woman who keeps on being "friends " with people just to get information about other people and she can't stand these "friends ". It makes me sick. Her life is one big sham of lying to everybody about everybody else.
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