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Old 09-03-2012, 10:45 AM
 
Location: On the edge of the universe
994 posts, read 1,396,171 times
Reputation: 1426

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I've been a loner for most of my life and I just don't see myself being involved with anyone. To make a long story short, I've been burned by 'friends' and 'family' so many times that I'd rather not get involved with that crap anymore. I know it's not something a lot of people want to hear but at this point I don't really care. I don't trust anyone enough to let them in my life; I don't even trust my parents. I'm not even sure if I love them anymore. I'm not here looking for a pity party; I had that long before City Data even existed. I just don't get why society seems to think that being a loner is bad. It seems like the majority of people will befriend you just to stab you in the back. I can understand why so many posters here want to be alone. I can't say I blame them since it seems like society is more evil today than even 10 years ago.
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Old 09-03-2012, 11:38 AM
 
4,762 posts, read 11,671,942 times
Reputation: 7878
It is *your* life. You can do as you wish.

I see a LOT of people these days living their lives the way they think other people would approve of. These people will ask on the internet (in so many words) what they "think" of such and so car or whatever. Then I assume they buy a car which the other people approve of the most? If a car is not "liked" by other people, then I assume they would not buy it?

Anyway that is silly. I don't need anyone else's "approval" for anything I buy (unless it is for them) or the way I live my life.

So welcome to my little "thinking independently" club. Not very many people can do that lately!

Note there are some nice people out there who are not selfish and don't use other people. These are getting harder and harder to find lately it seems. But if you decide in the future you might want to meet someone, try volunteer groups. Those are pretty good people!

Older people can be quite nice as well. Might want to visit a senior center.
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Old 09-03-2012, 11:43 AM
 
2 posts, read 7,136 times
Reputation: 14
I understand completely. I have had too many disappointments with friends and family so I too feel like you. I need to protect myself and think that 'people who need people are the luckiest people' is not true.
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Old 09-03-2012, 12:17 PM
 
20 posts, read 45,853 times
Reputation: 85
I seldom talk to my family. I feel out of place among them.
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Old 09-05-2012, 10:28 PM
 
Location: On the edge of the universe
994 posts, read 1,396,171 times
Reputation: 1426
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy_J View Post
It is *your* life. You can do as you wish.

I see a LOT of people these days living their lives the way they think other people would approve of. These people will ask on the internet (in so many words) what they "think" of such and so car or whatever. Then I assume they buy a car which the other people approve of the most? If a car is not "liked" by other people, then I assume they would not buy it?

Anyway that is silly. I don't need anyone else's "approval" for anything I buy (unless it is for them) or the way I live my life.

So welcome to my little "thinking independently" club. Not very many people can do that lately!

Note there are some nice people out there who are not selfish and don't use other people. These are getting harder and harder to find lately it seems. But if you decide in the future you might want to meet someone, try volunteer groups. Those are pretty good people!

Older people can be quite nice as well. Might want to visit a senior center.
You are right in that it's silly for me to ask someone else for approval. I guess I was kind of spaced out writing this. I've been spending too much time worrying about what others think that I forgot about myself all along.
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Old 09-06-2012, 09:33 AM
 
4,762 posts, read 11,671,942 times
Reputation: 7878
Quote:
Originally Posted by fireandice1000 View Post
You are right in that it's silly for me to ask someone else for approval. I guess I was kind of spaced out writing this. I've been spending too much time worrying about what others think that I forgot about myself all along.
Actually so far as what other people think, think about that...

They are going around wondering what you are thinking about them! That is what they are thinking!
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Old 09-07-2012, 03:15 PM
 
Location: FL
1,727 posts, read 2,242,759 times
Reputation: 1047
I can understand why some people choose to be loners. There are a lot of people out there who are not worth trusting or spending time with. I have a few select friends, and I don't even spend a LOT of time with any of them. Mostly because we are too busy, but also because I can only spend a certain amount of time around people before I am ready to move on. I don't like getting too close to people because inevitably close friends end up getting into eachothers drama, or they end up having drama in the friendship.

I happen to think there needs to be some healthy distance in friendships. I care deeply for my friends, I just don't want to spend hour upon hour with them.

I don't think "society" necessarily thinks that being a loner is bad. I think maybe it just seems that way because the people who send that message are the ones who are extroverted and outspoken, so they are the ones we hear.

The loners don't get out much so we don't really hear their opinions! It would be interesting to see how many people or only semi-social compared to how many people are very social.
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Old 09-07-2012, 03:46 PM
 
12,120 posts, read 29,311,246 times
Reputation: 3799
while it sounds sad and depressing at the thought of not wanting friends or family in one's life, family can drive one nuts and friends can be selfish and narcissistic. i unfortunately have never been able to balance a life of work and friendships. i am 50 and remain very much alone (I am able to make a close circle of acquaintances and supports) but have found that anything deeper gets in the way of my day to day functioning. and it seems to get worse as i get older. i no longer have my parents as theyre gone. i have my brother but he's 900 miles away and he can be very selfish at times. other times hes good. i have a small support network at my job which is good.
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Old 09-07-2012, 04:43 PM
 
7,349 posts, read 8,326,580 times
Reputation: 4521
Quote:
Originally Posted by fireandice1000 View Post
I've been a loner for most of my life and I just don't see myself being involved with anyone. To make a long story short, I've been burned by 'friends' and 'family' so many times that I'd rather not get involved with that crap anymore. I know it's not something a lot of people want to hear but at this point I don't really care. I don't trust anyone enough to let them in my life; I don't even trust my parents. I'm not even sure if I love them anymore. I'm not here looking for a pity party; I had that long before City Data even existed. I just don't get why society seems to think that being a loner is bad. It seems like the majority of people will befriend you just to stab you in the back. I can understand why so many posters here want to be alone. I can't say I blame them since it seems like society is more evil today than even 10 years ago.

1 . that you even ask the question suggests you are not a natural loner

2 . no , i dont think their is anything wrong with chosing to withdraw from society , society doesnt want some people so why should it complain if the person complys and sticks to themselves
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Old 09-07-2012, 04:52 PM
 
12,120 posts, read 29,311,246 times
Reputation: 3799
i probably have some strong Aspie traits and believe me there are quite a few people who don't care for me. it's just as well cause i don't care for them
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