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Old 09-11-2012, 07:49 PM
 
Location: southern born and southern bred
12,478 posts, read 15,441,985 times
Reputation: 19530

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Quote:
Originally Posted by MsAnnThrope View Post
Clearly you don't know any.

For every boozed up alcy there are at least a dozen people who have suffered and suffered over the years from watching the alcy wilfilly destroy their lives...and in my case, try to reach out and hurt mine too.

This woman has been in and out of every single rehab facility in the country. She actually said to me "I dont belong in rehab...rehab is full of DRUGGIES and disgusting people".

At what point does it cease being a disease and start becoming a lifestyle choice?

She has been detoxed a THOUSAND times...and every time, straight back to the liquor store.

never. Why don't you "get" that??? It is never going to be her choice. If she got cancer it would not be a lifetyle choice. Diabetics--disease--not choice. Alcoholic--disease--not choice.
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Old 09-11-2012, 07:53 PM
 
Location: Australia
4,004 posts, read 5,456,536 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PippySkiddles View Post
never. Why don't you "get" that??? It is never going to be her choice. If she got cancer it would not be a lifetyle choice. Diabetics--disease--not choice. Alcoholic--disease--not choice.
Horse doovers.

At what point does EMPATHY become ENABLING?

You need to see this show. Think Intervention on chardonnay, with no conscience and no crying relatives.

She doesn't give a big rats bum about anyone but herself.

She even argued with the nurse and her own doctor because he wouldn't prescribe her more valium.
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Old 09-11-2012, 07:56 PM
 
35,107 posts, read 42,178,836 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PippySkiddles View Post
never. Why don't you "get" that??? It is never going to be her choice. If she got cancer it would not be a lifetyle choice. Diabetics--disease--not choice. Alcoholic--disease--not choice.

I disagree about the "not choice" part of your statement, yes it is a disease and no it is a choice. The choice being NOT to drink. I am a recovering alcoholic and actually quit being an alcoholic at the age of 15, yes I said 15. I CHOOSE NOT TO DRINK, it is a conscious decision and one I have been making daily for 36 years now. Diabetes is a disease and not a choice once you have it, you can control it with proper nutrition and medication if it is required. Cancer is a disease as well and heart disease, liver disease and any other physical ailment you can think of some can be controlled with diet and medication or some sort of treatment others cannot be completely controlled. Alcoholism however CAN be controlled at all times by choosing NOT to drink.
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Old 09-11-2012, 08:00 PM
 
Location: Chicago
38,690 posts, read 91,047,969 times
Reputation: 29523
Oh, there's plenty more than one "mental health" dynamic going on in this thread.
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Old 09-11-2012, 08:03 PM
 
Location: Australia
4,004 posts, read 5,456,536 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
I disagree about the "not choice" part of your statement, yes it is a disease and no it is a choice. The choice being NOT to drink. I am a recovering alcoholic and actually quit being an alcoholic at the age of 15, yes I said 15. I CHOOSE NOT TO DRINK, it is a conscious decision and one I have been making daily for 36 years now. Diabetes is a disease and not a choice once you have it, you can control it with proper nutrition and medication if it is required. Cancer is a disease as well and heart disease, liver disease and any other physical ailment you can think of some can be controlled with diet and medication or some sort of treatment others cannot be completely controlled. Alcoholism however CAN be controlled at all times by choosing NOT to drink.
That is beyond awesome.

This woman is actually admitted to hospital (on the taxpayers tit) several times a month for a nice shot of morphine, because her esophagus is rotted and ulcerated.

She has been a hypochondriac all her life and doesn't hesitate to judge others (scummy druggies).

the reporter actually said to her "you don't want to quit do you".

Smart lady.

I wonder how all these defenders would go if their loved one had emphysema, was in a wheelchair, had developed lung cancer, was on oxegyn, and still lied begged and stole for a cigarette which they smoked through a hole in their throat because their larynx had been removed.

I bet if it was in their face like that they would have somewhat less compassion.
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Old 09-11-2012, 08:08 PM
 
Location: southern born and southern bred
12,478 posts, read 15,441,985 times
Reputation: 19530
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsAnnThrope View Post
That is beyond awesome.

This woman is actually admitted to hospital (on the taxpayers tit) several times a month for a nice shot of morphine, because her esophagus is rotted and ulcerated.

She has been a hypochondriac all her life and doesn't hesitate to judge others (scummy druggies).

the reporter actually said to her "you don't want to quit do you".

Smart lady.

I wonder how all these defenders would go if their loved one had emphysema, was in a wheelchair, had developed lung cancer, was on oxegyn, and still lied begged and stole for a cigarette which they smoked through a hole in their throat because their larynx had been removed.

I bet if it was in their face like that they would have somewhat less compassion.

you are wrong. I would show compassion to this person and why not? You would turn your back on someone it seems for selfish reasons. I won't do that.
Why would you turn your back on a loved one with emphysema? why? Makes no sense to me.
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Old 09-11-2012, 08:14 PM
 
Location: FL
1,727 posts, read 2,243,803 times
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How about this...

Some drunks are selfish angry people who don't care about anybody but themselves.
Some alchoholics and other addicts are suffering from underlying issues and have not had the good fortune of learning more effective coping skills, so they turn to alchohol and drugs instead. Some end up becoming selfish due to their addiction. Some possibly still manage to be caring people but they just can't get a handle on their addiction.

Those who have been affected by addicts are entitled to their feelings of frustration and anger, but need to remember that every situation is different. They need to try to remember that although on person may have issues similar to the person who has mistreated them, does not necessarily mean that they are all the same.

I think the OP understands the difference. I think she was just focusing on the type of addict she described and it simply didn't occur to who that she might come across generalizing about alchoholics and people with addictions.
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Old 09-11-2012, 08:15 PM
 
Location: Old Town Alexandria
14,495 posts, read 24,236,487 times
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I dont think the OP is off base in being angry at this person, if its a person she knows IRL.


Denial is the refusal to acknowledge the existence or severity of unpleasant external realities or internal thoughts and feelings.

Read more: Denial - children, therapy, adults, examples, person, people, used, personality, theory Denial - children, therapy, adults, examples, person, people, used, personality, theory
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Old 09-11-2012, 08:18 PM
 
Location: southern born and southern bred
12,478 posts, read 15,441,985 times
Reputation: 19530
Quote:
Originally Posted by dreamofmonterey View Post
I dont think the OP is off base in being angry at this person, if its a person she knows IRL.


Denial is the refusal to acknowledge the existence or severity of unpleasant external realities or internal thoughts and feelings.

Read more: Denial - children, therapy, adults, examples, person, people, used, personality, theory Denial - children, therapy, adults, examples, person, people, used, personality, theory

I think the OP belonged in Relationship Forum. The original poster has no true concerns about the person with the disease. She has issues with the person. Period.
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Old 09-11-2012, 08:32 PM
 
Location: Australia
4,004 posts, read 5,456,536 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PippySkiddles View Post
I think the OP belonged in Relationship Forum. The original poster has no true concerns about the person with the disease. She has issues with the person. Period.
No chit.

I have been her "friend" for over 35 years now and I can assure you this woman has had every single advantage in life that you can possibly imagine...NONE of which I have had.

Every time she checks in to a rehab (only to check out again a few days later) or goes to hospital for some morphine because her throat hurts, it is taking services away from someone who NEEDS them, who DOES wish to change.

As I said my own dear father was an alcoholic yet exhibited NONE of these self indulgent, whiny behaviours, getting up and going to work every single day of his life.

If you watch the show this woman blames every single thing except herself. She actually called the tv show personally to request help as she has now been BANNED from every rehab facility IN THE COUNTRY.

Banned. Black listed. Written off as a wilful, hopeless drunk by EXPERTS.
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