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Old 09-13-2012, 06:32 PM
 
Location: California
31,531 posts, read 34,790,778 times
Reputation: 27198

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A physical or phychological addiction to thing can't be labled "selfish" is the everyday sense of the word. Nor do I really consider addiction like alcoholism a "disease" like diabeties. It's not, never was and never will be. It's a trap people fall into, maybe unknowingly and unwittingly, but they weren't born with it and they didn't accquire it while minding their own business either. They took steps to put themselves under it's influence and stay there so long that they were unable to get out on their own. I have sympathy for addicts and want to see them helped. They are to be pitied.
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Old 09-13-2012, 06:34 PM
 
Location: Kenmore, WA
7,490 posts, read 6,673,612 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MsAnnThrope View Post
I have just finished watching a reality tv show about an alcoholic attempting to detox at home....
I just cannot believe that there are people like that out there, who are so bloated with their own selfish and immature craving for drama. People are posting comments about how "brave" she is appearing on camera, all I see is a woman who can NEVER get enough attention...that's why she became a drunk in the first place.
I cannot believe there are people out there that are willing to judge a whole group of people based on the telecast production of a reality tv show of a single person....
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Old 09-13-2012, 08:10 PM
 
Location: SC Foothills
8,831 posts, read 10,249,826 times
Reputation: 58216
Quote:
Originally Posted by PippySkiddles View Post
so your comments are a bit biased and laced with just a dose of resentment.
I don't believe anyone becomes an addict for attention. That just make no sense at all.
No one chooses to be an addict.
My grandfather was an alcoholic. He did not choose to be one. He didn't take his first drink knowing it would be a life long struggle with many desperate times to come. Thankfully my family members recognized he did not make this choice and he was shown compassion.
Everyone who is an addict could use more compassion and less judging. He wasn't selfish either......he was a generous,good and kind person.
Um yeah....you said that quite well. I am an alcoholic (recovering) and I am a very kind and giving person. Personalities and addictions have nothing to do with one another. You can be a dick as a person and never have addictions, a dick with addictions, or a nice person with addictions. This woman is just a nasty person anyway, it has nothing to do with her drinking problem. I wish people would educate themselves.
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Old 09-13-2012, 08:43 PM
Status: "Disoriented" (set 25 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
61,134 posts, read 58,408,747 times
Reputation: 73255
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceece View Post
A physical or phychological addiction to thing can't be labled "selfish" is the everyday sense of the word. Nor do I really consider addiction like alcoholism a "disease" like diabeties. It's not, never was and never will be. It's a trap people fall into, maybe unknowingly and unwittingly, but they weren't born with it and they didn't accquire it while minding their own business either. They took steps to put themselves under it's influence and stay there so long that they were unable to get out on their own. I have sympathy for addicts and want to see them helped. They are to be pitied.
Well, I do think there is something genetic/chemical in addicts in that I could (and did!) sit and drink myself into a stupor with some of these people and I never became an alcoholic and they did. I never "had" to have a drink, and I never woke up at dawn and sucked down some vodka just to get myself out of bed in the morning without having a seizure, but my best friend did. I never felt the urge to drink when I was sad or angry or fearful--drinking was for fun, but I did notice that some people ran to the bottle whenever something went wrong. I noticed that difference. And eventually when the time came to grow up and stop partying, I was able to make that decision to do so, but the alcoholics I've known were simply not able to just stop drinking without some kind of help to do so. And they were also always completely unable to see that their drinking had an affect on other people and made life difficult for other people, which was my point in an earlier post. There is something different about addict-prone people in the first place, and it may be physical or psychological or both.
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Old 09-13-2012, 08:45 PM
 
14,747 posts, read 29,469,714 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
Yes. Addicts are some of the most selfish people on the planet.
They say that addicts, of all types, are all about selfishness.
That information is delivered as a truism of sorts, yet no one gives the underlying data.
Apparently, an addict is seeking to escape some type of pain, and not really trying to hurt another person.
If the addicted person is single, who are they hurting via their addiction and selfishness? Themselves?
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Old 09-13-2012, 08:53 PM
Status: "Disoriented" (set 25 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
61,134 posts, read 58,408,747 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by robertpolyglot View Post
They say that addicts, of all types, are all about selfishness.
That information is delivered as a truism of sorts, yet no one gives the underlying data.
Apparently, an addict is seeking to escape some type of pain, and not really trying to hurt another person.
If the addicted person is single, who are they hurting via their addiction and selfishness? Themselves?
I don't think that in most cases an addict is deliberately trying to hurt another person, but they do. They hurt everyone around them. It's that they don't care that they do. It may even be that they can't understand that they are hurting other people. I've been thinking about this for a long time, and unfortunately, had way too much life experience with alkies and addicts. (And yes, before someone pipes up with the inevitable infomercial pitch for Al-Anon, I have dealt with codependency and learned to detach myself from the addicts in my life, thank you very much.) Anyway, it's hard to put a finger on it, but they are missing something, some ability to empathize or connect with others fully in that regard. Not like a sociopath or anything. But they seem completely puzzled by any attempt to explain that what they did to you (or their child or parent or the person they ran over in the street) caused real and lasting damage to that OTHER person. They only know how they themselves were affected, for example, they lost their license/did jail time, spouse left, child won't speak to them, etc. They don't seem to be able to grasp the WHY.
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Old 09-14-2012, 07:12 AM
 
Location: So Ca
17,597 posts, read 16,394,053 times
Reputation: 15391
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ilene Wright View Post
I am an alcoholic (recovering) and I am a very kind and giving person. Personalities and addictions have nothing to do with one another.
Exactly. Where would anyone get the idea that we can lump people with any type of addiction into one category? It's been my experience with our family member who was an alcoholic that there are many alcoholics who are considerate, sensitive and giving people. They carry the unfortunate genetic load for addiction. For those of you who think addiction is a choice, there are plenty of recent studies about chromosomal regions associated with both vulnerability to addiction and risk-seeking behavior.

Quote:
This woman is just a nasty person anyway, it has nothing to do with her drinking problem. I wish people would educate themselves.
True. This whole thread, as has been suggested by others, doesn't belong on this subforum, and has an erroneous and misleading title.
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Old 09-14-2012, 07:58 AM
 
Location: Kenmore, WA
7,490 posts, read 6,673,612 times
Reputation: 10948
I believe each of you are correct to some extent, but no one has yet come across a definitive reason for addictive behavior, and not all persons with addictive behaviors are addicted to substances.

As far as I know, (very little, indeed) there is an argument for links to a variety of physical systemic responses at the basis of all mental health issues -- including alcoholism, and (for that matter, as a separate phenomena) selfishness. In a recent article written about the physical nature of our world at the tiniest micro-level, the author conjectured that all reactions are dictated by our physiological responses, and free will is a very small portion of our lives.

I think it best that we practice equanimity with all persons, or, as the coined phrase states: "Don't judge unless you walk a mile in their shoes."

PS: Warrior princess, you never cease to increase my awe of your bravery and goodness.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
Well, I do think there is ... something different about addict-prone people in the first place, and it may be physical or psychological or both.
Quote:
Originally Posted by robertpolyglot View Post
They say that addicts, of all types, are all about selfishness.
That information is delivered as a truism of sorts, yet no one gives the underlying data.
Apparently, an addict is seeking to escape some type of pain, and not really trying to hurt another person.
If the addicted person is single, who are they hurting via their addiction and selfishness? Themselves?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceece View Post
I have sympathy for addicts and want to see them helped. They are to be pitied.
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Old 09-17-2012, 12:48 AM
 
Location: SC Foothills
8,831 posts, read 10,249,826 times
Reputation: 58216
Quote:
Originally Posted by LookinForMayberry View Post

PS: Warrior princess, you never cease to increase my awe of your bravery and goodness.
Thanks LFM, that's something I really needed to hear on this sleepless night at 2:43 am with roaches crawling across my feet. I wish God was real so he could help me. Then I would be able to scream "GOD HELP ME"!!!
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Old 09-17-2012, 02:32 PM
Status: "Disoriented" (set 25 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
61,134 posts, read 58,408,747 times
Reputation: 73255
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ilene Wright View Post
Thanks LFM, that's something I really needed to hear on this sleepless night at 2:43 am with roaches crawling across my feet. I wish God was real so he could help me. Then I would be able to scream "GOD HELP ME"!!!
Now you know the secret of the Universe: The Cockroaches rule and will long outlive every other life form.
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