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Old 10-04-2012, 07:00 PM
 
Location: Springfield, Ohio
12,510 posts, read 10,955,067 times
Reputation: 11628

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Quote:
Originally Posted by SocalPitgal View Post
I can absolutely relate to what you are saying. I laugh when I have learned it is the right time to laugh, I cry when I think I should cry. But these are all simply responses to function in society. I don't feel. I live day to day, numb. I believe I have become in this numb state, as it keeps me from feeling sadness or pain. I have learned that I can't pick and choose to just feel the good feelings, so in order to not feel the depressed, negative ones, I don't feel.

My friend asks me when we have a chance to meet for lunch after a period of not seeing each other, "Did you miss me?" "Yes, of course I missed you" but when I search for the feeling, I do not feel that I missed them. Our emotions guide us in our every day tasks, they help us set long term goals, without desire, excitement, feelings of accomplishments or success, a person is stuck. Nothing matters. I am attempting to do a career change, I have not been able to do it, nothing is interesting, nothing grabs me inside and drives me to get there..

It is very hard to explain. I do experience the depressive cycles also.
I have to ask....are you actively seeking to treat your depression? Or do you "just live with it"?
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Old 10-04-2012, 09:14 PM
 
Location: Southern California
750 posts, read 1,098,278 times
Reputation: 1119
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natural510 View Post
I have to ask....are you actively seeking to treat your depression? Or do you "just live with it"?
I just live with it. I have been living with it for years and years, this is how I reached this point, I suppose. I have gotten treatment in the past, taken some of the anti depressant medications. Most recently a doctor put me on medication for my Thyroid, it did help my hands and feet not be cold all the time, but that is about all, so I stopped taking it.
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Old 10-05-2012, 01:09 PM
 
7,352 posts, read 8,329,031 times
Reputation: 4521
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natural510 View Post
I have to ask....are you actively seeking to treat your depression? Or do you "just live with it"?
you can only learn to live with depression , it cannot be erased completley , that would involve a wiping of your memory , depression is all about bad memorys which cannot be vanished
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Old 10-05-2012, 04:14 PM
 
Location: ATL with a side of Chicago
3,622 posts, read 5,209,370 times
Reputation: 3925
Quote:
Originally Posted by irish_bob View Post
you can only learn to live with depression , it cannot be erased completley , that would involve a wiping of your memory , depression is all about bad memorys which cannot be vanished
Again, I respectfully beg to differ. You don't have to live with it. I don't. Depression itself can become a bad memory, sure. But in time, when you heal (and you CAN heal), it becomes just that. A memory. My depressive episodes came on during times when all was going well. I had no past trauma, no bad experiences, no horrible childhood; I should have been on top of the world. I was completely confused as to why I was suddenly under this dark cloud. I'd been having panic attacks, and still don't know whether the depression triggered the panic attacks or the panic attacks came on by depression, or I was double-whammied (have depression on my father's side, panic disorder on my mother's).

I cannot say it enough (and, believe me, it's frustrating to keep doing so): clinical depression is NOT an emotion. It was a lack of emotion in my case.

Still, YMMV.

I want to underscore that I am not pushing people to rush to medications or any particular treatment. I WOULD advise seeing a professional, however, if you feel this "numbness" (among other symptoms discussed in this thread), to the point where you feel there's no hope and you have lost yourself. Sometimes it's more apparent to those close to you than it is to you. My mother described it as seeing the "light inside me burn out" when I went through it the first time.

What works for one will not work for all, and it's a long trial-and-error process to find the right combination of treatment(s). And even when they do work, if you've lived with depression long enough, your brain has been trained to think certain ways. My father is an example of this. Medication only got him so far, if he responded at all. He was eventually deemed "non-responsive" to medication. So, obviously medication is not the answer for everyone. He ended up with several rounds of ECT treatments, and that worked wonders for a few years (at the expense of some memory loss, but he is not complaining). But when he had a recurrence, he had what was then an experimental procedure; a "pace-maker" for the brain surgically implanted. This was the last resort, as doctors did not know what else to do for him. It did the trick for several years, and he had it removed a year ago. He's been doing well, so far, knock wood.

In long-time sufferers like my father, and even those who just have a negative outlook, cognitive therapy can be helpful to retrain your thinking patterns to work for you rather than against you. I was fortunate enough to catch mine (or, rather, my family members who have suffered depression recognized the signs and got me help), that I was able to get back on my feet quickly (within 3 months the first time) with medication alone, though I did go through psycho-therapy my first time. I just had absolutely nothing to talk about in my sessions, because there were no extenuating circumstances. I cycled out of it, went back to school, and life was normal again, until my next bout, just after my son was born.

Last edited by Neemy; 10-05-2012 at 04:51 PM..
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Old 10-07-2012, 12:14 AM
 
13,966 posts, read 26,545,619 times
Reputation: 22971
What ^^^ said.
Depression is *not* about bad memories or needing to wipe them away. Depression is the absence of feeling sadness or feeling anything, and at its worst, it's the presence of a kind of internal pain that cannot be described. It's very physical. Depression might be some people's biochemical response to bad experiences or losses, but it is still depression, not "bad memories."
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Old 10-07-2012, 03:44 PM
 
Location: USA
1,899 posts, read 4,241,049 times
Reputation: 2020
Without reading the other replies, I would say sadness is a temporary feeling related to a particular circumstance; while depression is a mood disorder that can be chronic, not related to circumstances, and may be chemically-based....(in the sense of one's body chemistry).
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Old 10-08-2012, 03:53 PM
 
7,352 posts, read 8,329,031 times
Reputation: 4521
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neemy View Post
Again, I respectfully beg to differ. You don't have to live with it. I don't. Depression itself can become a bad memory, sure. But in time, when you heal (and you CAN heal), it becomes just that. A memory. My depressive episodes came on during times when all was going well. I had no past trauma, no bad experiences, no horrible childhood; I should have been on top of the world. I was completely confused as to why I was suddenly under this dark cloud. I'd been having panic attacks, and still don't know whether the depression triggered the panic attacks or the panic attacks came on by depression, or I was double-whammied (have depression on my father's side, panic disorder on my mother's).

I cannot say it enough (and, believe me, it's frustrating to keep doing so): clinical depression is NOT an emotion. It was a lack of emotion in my case.

Still, YMMV.

I want to underscore that I am not pushing people to rush to medications or any particular treatment. I WOULD advise seeing a professional, however, if you feel this "numbness" (among other symptoms discussed in this thread), to the point where you feel there's no hope and you have lost yourself. Sometimes it's more apparent to those close to you than it is to you. My mother described it as seeing the "light inside me burn out" when I went through it the first time.

What works for one will not work for all, and it's a long trial-and-error process to find the right combination of treatment(s). And even when they do work, if you've lived with depression long enough, your brain has been trained to think certain ways. My father is an example of this. Medication only got him so far, if he responded at all. He was eventually deemed "non-responsive" to medication. So, obviously medication is not the answer for everyone. He ended up with several rounds of ECT treatments, and that worked wonders for a few years (at the expense of some memory loss, but he is not complaining). But when he had a recurrence, he had what was then an experimental procedure; a "pace-maker" for the brain surgically implanted. This was the last resort, as doctors did not know what else to do for him. It did the trick for several years, and he had it removed a year ago. He's been doing well, so far, knock wood.

In long-time sufferers like my father, and even those who just have a negative outlook, cognitive therapy can be helpful to retrain your thinking patterns to work for you rather than against you. I was fortunate enough to catch mine (or, rather, my family members who have suffered depression recognized the signs and got me help), that I was able to get back on my feet quickly (within 3 months the first time) with medication alone, though I did go through psycho-therapy my first time. I just had absolutely nothing to talk about in my sessions, because there were no extenuating circumstances. I cycled out of it, went back to school, and life was normal again, until my next bout, just after my son was born.

with respect , you have no way of knowing whether i ( or anyone else who experienced traumtic events ) can heal when you admit yourself , you had no cataclysmic experience which triggered your depression , your not comparing like with like
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Old 10-08-2012, 03:56 PM
 
7,352 posts, read 8,329,031 times
Reputation: 4521
Quote:
Originally Posted by brightdoglover View Post
What ^^^ said.
Depression is *not* about bad memories or needing to wipe them away. Depression is the absence of feeling sadness or feeling anything, and at its worst, it's the presence of a kind of internal pain that cannot be described. It's very physical. Depression might be some people's biochemical response to bad experiences or losses, but it is still depression, not "bad memories."

who are you to decide what the definition of depression is , many peoples depression does indeed stem from traumatic life experiences , your effectivley telling a person who was mistreated as a kid that their early life is irrelevant to their current state

bottom line , its different for everyone
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Old 10-08-2012, 05:42 PM
 
Location: ATL with a side of Chicago
3,622 posts, read 5,209,370 times
Reputation: 3925
Quote:
Originally Posted by irish_bob View Post
with respect , you have no way of knowing whether i ( or anyone else who experienced traumtic events ) can heal when you admit yourself , you had no cataclysmic experience which triggered your depression , your not comparing like with like
I have said I am speaking from my own experience. The fact I had no trauma at the time should not diminish my experience. I don't want to go into any further specifics, so please trust that during the three episodes I had, especially the last, were...I don't even know how to put it into words. It was a VERY serious situation. One I almost didn't survive.

Yes, it is different for everyone, but you also cannot make a blanket statement that nobody can heal. There are similarities between depression and PTSD, which do stem from traumatic events and memories. My grandfather suffered from that after being a ground soldier in WWII, up until the day he died in 2010.
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Old 10-09-2012, 04:34 PM
 
7,352 posts, read 8,329,031 times
Reputation: 4521
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neemy View Post
I have said I am speaking from my own experience. The fact I had no trauma at the time should not diminish my experience. I don't want to go into any further specifics, so please trust that during the three episodes I had, especially the last, were...I don't even know how to put it into words. It was a VERY serious situation. One I almost didn't survive.

Yes, it is different for everyone, but you also cannot make a blanket statement that nobody can heal. There are similarities between depression and PTSD, which do stem from traumatic events and memories. My grandfather suffered from that after being a ground soldier in WWII, up until the day he died in 2010.
PTSD is part of the depression family for want of a better word , i have PTSD
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