U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Covid-19 Information Page
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Health and Wellness > Mental Health
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 10-05-2012, 07:03 PM
 
1,615 posts, read 2,284,783 times
Reputation: 803

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Oleg Bach View Post
Maybe that the abuse of sexuality is making this person ill at ease? He watches gay porn as a sexual release..I have seen abusive straight porn- I can imagine that gay porn must be pretty nasty at it's most extreme - this guy sound like he might be bordering on entering the realm of reason. Some forms of sexuality as presented these days is not very pleasant...as he mentioned - In his small town gays hook up and have relations instantly...who would want to live like that- How long could a human being endure such mutual usery for a prolonged period....Maybe there is a thing called gay burn out?
it's just that NOBODY seems to care about anything at all where i'm from. I am a traditional guy, i like the holidays i have am not super religious but i care about spirituality and enjoy the custom of going to church not every week but on occasion. I am all for doing new things too but i want my life to have some sort of meaning to it, where things are important and mean something. I've been trying so hard to make gay friends but everybody just wants to have sex and while i care about working out and looks to a certain extent, that is NOT what i want my life to be BASED on. it's too superficial. i am extremely into spirituality and even have a bachelors degree in religion, though i do not fully believe in organized religion i do believe in a higher power and an afterlife. It just seems like everything is so superficial. Also, I've had very few to NO people who have EVER cared about me as a person. I was hoping to be with someone who FINALLY DID that, but again i get NONE of that in the gay community here. I'm not even invited to events but these same people who don't want to spend time with me sure as heck want to have sex with me. I want friends. i have like one friend and most of my family does NOT get along so i feel like i don't even have a support system. I'm just sick of superficial meaninglessness and tv culture. It's ok to a LITTLE extent but it's just too much me for. without meaning life isn't worth living.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 10-05-2012, 07:12 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,682 posts, read 47,143,717 times
Reputation: 11862
Maybe it won't feel so demeaning if you're in a committed relationship with someone.

Or maybe you could find someone who was asexual but romantically gay. I'm sure they exist.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-05-2012, 09:11 PM
 
14,009 posts, read 14,473,281 times
Reputation: 41303
Or just see a therapist. Just sayin'.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-05-2012, 09:26 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,269 posts, read 90,412,989 times
Reputation: 39961
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rlarson21 View Post
I'm a 35 year old gay guy. I have only been with one guy and that was five years ago. I didn't even come out until age 28 and before this i dated nobody.

I feel uncomfortable with sexuality in general. The gays in my small town are all about hooking up right away and having sex.

Part of me finds sexuality in general to be demeaning and sick. what's weird though is that i like the fact that other guys here think i'm hot but i feel uncomfortable with the idea of actually having sex. I feel better just staying home and looking at porn online and not actually doing it.

but i feel so lonely and i want a romantic/friendship relationship. If sex was a part of that then i would do it. but I just feel so demeaned by the whole process.

I look at porn online but I think it feels demeaning and disgusting that others look at me this way in the raw sense and i have a hard time feeling comfortable with the idea of sex when it actually comes to doing it in real life.

Is there something wrong with me?
Please honey, consider speaking with a therapist. There is no reason to be this lonely and miserable

And all the things you want are not unreasonable and can be attained!

People here will offer you lots of opinions and suggestions, but only a trained professional is really going to be able to help you okay?

Do it first thing next week
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-05-2012, 10:08 PM
 
1,615 posts, read 2,284,783 times
Reputation: 803
A therapist? Am I that bad off?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-05-2012, 10:14 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,269 posts, read 90,412,989 times
Reputation: 39961
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rlarson21 View Post
A therapist? Am I that bad off?
Why would you put it that way?

No one is saying your crazy or "bad off" okay?

We can just see how much you are struggling and how hurt and lonely you are.

When a man in on fire he doesn't just stand there - he HAS to take action and move to save himself.

Don't you want to end this suffering the quickest, most effective way possible?

THAT'S what a therapist can do for you.

You have to think of it as a positive thing - a step in the right direction to getting the life you want
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-05-2012, 10:23 PM
 
1,615 posts, read 2,284,783 times
Reputation: 803
Yeah but a therapist might not help. I knew my views were different than others but I didn't realize that I was that bad off in the eyes of others. I will consider going.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-05-2012, 10:25 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,269 posts, read 90,412,989 times
Reputation: 39961
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rlarson21 View Post
Yeah but a therapist might not help. I knew my views were different than others but I didn't realize that I was that bad off in the eyes of others. I will consider going.
Your views about sex and sexuality are extreme.

That comes from somewhere, something in your childhood.

A therapist is your BEST HOPE for getting the life you say you want - why would you even hesitate??

GO, you'll be taking the first step to healing and having what you want
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-05-2012, 10:55 PM
 
842 posts, read 1,135,529 times
Reputation: 706
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rlarson21 View Post
A therapist? Am I that bad off?
Therapists get paid for extending people's problems for as long as possible. Their wallet is certainly pleased. Don't forget it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-06-2012, 06:17 AM
 
14,009 posts, read 14,473,281 times
Reputation: 41303
Quote:
Originally Posted by Virijat View Post
Therapists get paid for extending people's problems for as long as possible. Their wallet is certainly pleased. Don't forget it.
He's spent his entire life up to now, the age of 35, being disgusted by the idea of being in a meaningful sexual relationship. I REALLY don't think the therapist is going to be "extending" anything.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Health and Wellness > Mental Health
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2020, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top