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Old 11-26-2012, 08:20 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clintone View Post
He could have a niche he's into...something comforting and mutually supportive, but still be gay, or one of countless other options. The OP may have a lot more noble of an internal drive than the rest of us lowly apes who want looks, or myself who doesn't care so much whether or not she's a sociopath, so long as she's proud of it, and has a few higher I.Q. points than most persons.

You're still competing with Oleg Bach and Doll Eyes, but you're probably vastly superior to most of us. We wanna do stuff like impregnate random people and leave...or are attracted to someone because of the car they own. We'll probably attempt to destroy you for being evil or something. Enjoy.

Nobody is 'competing' for anything. And what is this all about? Why are you quoting yourself and then responding to it?
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Old 11-26-2012, 08:22 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,712 posts, read 10,320,878 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clintone View Post
True.

I'm a confident heterosexual who's never had sex though. I simply don't have the urge to do anything more than the "slam, bam, thank you mam," thing with anyone who is not proud of their individuality and intelligence...and even that's not that strong really, unless they are. It's more like..."Yeah...okay, that'd be nice...just so long as you don't want me to do any work for it." If they are proud of their individuality and intelligence, the enthusiasm increases quite a bit. Actually, I'm somewhat repulsed by the thought of getting into any kind of long term commitment with someone who is not proud of their individuality and intelligence...and have thought some of the similar thoughts about that as the OP has thought about sex. I think I can relate to the guy too.

So, there are lots of options too, not necessarily related to orientation. (emphasis on not saying he isn't an asexual either though)

I'm a woman and never had sex either and don't want to with other people. I don't 'seek' out opportunities like I guess a 'normal' person is supposed to do. I don't know....Not sure what someone's individuality/intelligence has to do with anything pertinent to the OP's struggle with asexuality/homosexuality/thinking sex is gross, etc. But okay then....
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Old 11-27-2012, 02:52 PM
 
Location: Missouri, USA
5,034 posts, read 3,271,020 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
I'm a woman and never had sex either and don't want to with other people. I don't 'seek' out opportunities like I guess a 'normal' person is supposed to do. I don't know....Not sure what someone's individuality/intelligence has to do with anything pertinent to the OP's struggle with asexuality/homosexuality/thinking sex is gross, etc. But okay then....
I know he thinks the act of doing it himself is gross, but he looks at porn. Maybe (emphasis on maybe) the reason he looks at it is that he only likes sex under certain conditions, and he's using porn to gain access to those conditions...visually. I was considering asking him specifically what type he looks at, and how often, to help answer this question...but I don't want to disgust or emberass the guy, so I won't, and I don't know anything about psychology, so I'd be of limited help anyway.

I think the reason people emphasize sex being healthy, is because it makes us happy when we have it, and unhappy when we don't have it...and progressively unhappier the longer we don't have it. If the OP doesn't want to have it, this probably wouldn't apply, but if he does, people are worrying that he'll be getting less and less happy.

You have specifically stated numerous times, that you don't want anything to do with sex, but the OP has both specifically stated that he's gay (which he may or may not be) and that he looks at pornography, so that makes me think he might want it...but only a certain type.
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Old 11-27-2012, 03:10 PM
 
Location: Missouri, USA
5,034 posts, read 3,271,020 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
Nobody is 'competing' for anything. And what is this all about? Why are you quoting yourself and then responding to it?
I was attempting to flatter you, the OP, and Oleg Bach using sarcasm. I have a terrible sense of humor nobody other than me seems to understand. Oleg Bach has a sex drive, but he seems like he has a healthy outlet. I think the sex drive probably does more harm than good, unless two people are in a relationship where they both use it to make eachother happy...or more rarely, if two people not in a relationship use it to make eachother happy...but if we're not in a relationship, particularly if we're men, most of the time it probably does more harm than good to those around us. Women may just get a little more irritable over time.

If you and the OP don't have a sex drive, or the OP has one that only works in, perhaps, more comfortable, mutually supportive situations, both of you seem like you'll be less likely to not be that good of persons, much of the time, than a lot of people.

...but he does sound a lot like some of the descriptions on the Aven website, and if someone doesn't want to sleep with anyone, why do it? There are a lot of risks even if someone does want to sleep with someone, that probably make it not worth it in many instances.

Last edited by Clintone; 11-27-2012 at 03:58 PM..
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Old 11-27-2012, 04:13 PM
 
5,128 posts, read 6,129,124 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clintone View Post
Dr. Clintone says: The part in bold is an unhealthy mindset, in many contexts. That's how the Catholic priest pedophelia stuff happens. Instead...a better solution would be to not treat women in those situations like trash.

I know you are not a guy, and I'm 90% sure you never had a heterosexual son or brother, unless you come from a deeply, deeply, conservatively religious household.
Was this directed at me? Or the OP? Actually, the entire post is very unclear.

If it's me, I do have a heterosexual brother.
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Old 11-28-2012, 07:03 AM
 
Location: Missouri, USA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shooting Stars View Post
Was this directed at me? Or the OP? Actually, the entire post is very unclear.

If it's me, I do have a heterosexual brother.
You.

I'm a 27 year old virgin. Men need some sort of an outlet at times...some more than others. Ideally, it won't be porn, but I think we should settle for them not getting someone pregnant they don't love (or marrying someone they don't love...some people do that too). Now, I'm okay without sex, but it took a few years to get used to that...six or seven.

If I have kids, I might well yell at them for looking at it pornography, because women are exploited in that way, but it's not the worst thing in the world to look at it, particularly if you're not paying for it, but unless you want to do the unplanned-pregnancy/stay-with-your-partner-for-life-and-see-what-happens thing, (which another poster I heard say was utopia, and he believes that's what we are meant to do...but I don't think I'd like) there are no entirely healthy outlets for the sex drive, except masturbation over non-pornographic materials, and (I know this is crude) for some people, once in awhile, that's not enough.

I think we are animals, and we need to remember that. Willpower works like a muscle. It strengthens when you use it, but gets tired if you use it too much at once. I think most Catholic priests have gotten to the point where they're strong enough to be celibate forever, or are asexual. I'm probably at that point of strength, or maybe it's more just getting used to it, or at least strong enough that I can avoid it with another person forever. I'm nowhere near tough enough to do the no-thinking-about-it thing. I think that some Catholic priests are pedophiles, with innate attraction towards children, but I strongly suspect that some Catholic priests are heterosexual or homosexual men, who merely tried to do too much all at once, and they couldn't do it, and that's how the pedophelia happened...not so much because of an innate attraction to children, but because of easier access to...anyone...the anyone in this case being children.

Ideally men will have a lower sex drive, or desire to do the marry-someone-you-love-early-and-enjoy-kids-planned-or-not thing, but they don't always. I used to have an extremely high sex drive, and hated the idea of a long term commitment or kids, (I'm probably descended from some horrible, raiding barbarian horde or something, and know some of my ancestors were British highwaymen.) so I might know a little more about what I'm talking about than most persons.

Feel free to feel nauseated now

Last edited by Clintone; 11-28-2012 at 07:27 AM..
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Old 11-28-2012, 10:42 AM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,712 posts, read 10,320,878 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clintone View Post
I was attempting to flatter you, the OP, and Oleg Bach using sarcasm. I have a terrible sense of humor nobody other than me seems to understand. Oleg Bach has a sex drive, but he seems like he has a healthy outlet. I think the sex drive probably does more harm than good, unless two people are in a relationship where they both use it to make eachother happy...or more rarely, if two people not in a relationship use it to make eachother happy...but if we're not in a relationship, particularly if we're men, most of the time it probably does more harm than good to those around us. Women may just get a little more irritable over time.

If you and the OP don't have a sex drive, or the OP has one that only works in, perhaps, more comfortable, mutually supportive situations, both of you seem like you'll be less likely to not be that good of persons, much of the time, than a lot of people.

...but he does sound a lot like some of the descriptions on the Aven website, and if someone doesn't want to sleep with anyone, why do it? There are a lot of risks even if someone does want to sleep with someone, that probably make it not worth it in many instances.
well I don't beat around the bush, because I don't know how to. LOL. So I don't get vague jokes most of the time, no biggie.....I disagree that the sex drive is doing harm unless you're with another person. I have a sex drive, like the OP I like porn but want nothing to do with real life sex...I don't see why you think it's 'worse' for men but that's nothing new, sorry but men tend to think everything is a disaster when it happens to them but with a woman it's 'no big deal, she's get over it.'

uh huh, that's where I was getting the info from, he matches up with a lot of those descriptions. There's some people on the AVEN that have sex b/c their partner wants it, but not because they do. I would never be in such an arrangement but I guess it works for them.
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Old 11-28-2012, 10:55 AM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,712 posts, read 10,320,878 times
Reputation: 7553
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clintone View Post
I know he thinks the act of doing it himself is gross, but he looks at porn. Maybe (emphasis on maybe) the reason he looks at it is that he only likes sex under certain conditions, and he's using porn to gain access to those conditions...visually. I was considering asking him specifically what type he looks at, and how often, to help answer this question...but I don't want to disgust or emberass the guy, so I won't, and I don't know anything about psychology, so I'd be of limited help anyway.

I think the reason people emphasize sex being healthy, is because it makes us happy when we have it, and unhappy when we don't have it...and progressively unhappier the longer we don't have it. If the OP doesn't want to have it, this probably wouldn't apply, but if he does, people are worrying that he'll be getting less and less happy.

You have specifically stated numerous times, that you don't want anything to do with sex, but the OP has both specifically stated that he's gay (which he may or may not be) and that he looks at pornography, so that makes me think he might want it...but only a certain type.

a few things are getting mixed up again. asexuality is not only 'no sex drive at all,' it's also the LACK of desire for sex as well as the lack of seeking sexual opportunities. I guess some fit in one category and others in another. I don't know what kind of porn he watches (and b/c of the TOS can't really discuss it) but if he is just watching 'regular' porn, that's not special circumstances.

I think people emphasize sex as healthy because they themselves are obsessed with it. By reading the first line of the second paragraph, that doesn't sound like something remotely 'healthy' to me. I'm talking about non reproductive purposes but it's like "if I don't get it, if I don't have it, etc. etc." They go way over board with it, if that's how you become I'll continue to pass.

If the OP said he doesn't want it, then I beleive him.
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Old 11-29-2012, 08:40 AM
 
Location: Missouri, USA
5,034 posts, read 3,271,020 times
Reputation: 2361
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
well I don't beat around the bush, because I don't know how to. LOL. So I don't get vague jokes most of the time, no biggie.....I disagree that the sex drive is doing harm unless you're with another person. I have a sex drive, like the OP I like porn but want nothing to do with real life sex...I don't see why you think it's 'worse' for men but that's nothing new, sorry but men tend to think everything is a disaster when it happens to them but with a woman it's 'no big deal, she's get over it.'

uh huh, that's where I was getting the info from, he matches up with a lot of those descriptions. There's some people on the AVEN that have sex b/c their partner wants it, but not because they do. I would never be in such an arrangement but I guess it works for them.
Women don't desire to get men drunk to sleep with them, when they can't make sound decisions. That's why males' sex drive is obviously harder for men to deal with than for women to deal with theirs...no contest. You need to watch out for monsters. We get to try not to be monsters.
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Old 11-29-2012, 08:53 AM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,712 posts, read 10,320,878 times
Reputation: 7553
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clintone View Post
Women don't desire to get men drunk to sleep with them, when they can't make sound decisions. That's why males' sex drive is obviously harder for men to deal with than for women to deal with theirs...no contest. You need to watch out for monsters. We get to try not to be monsters.
Oh look -- another man claiming men have it so much harder then women (despite never having been one a day in his life). Now tell me how you all are sooooo different from one another? So I can get a good laugh again.

Last edited by Doll Eyes; 11-29-2012 at 09:18 AM..
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