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Old 10-15-2012, 07:28 AM
4,249 posts, read 8,354,289 times
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It would be interesting to scan various views on a therapist. Does therapy help some?

Does it depend on the receiver, as well? I remember the only time I needed someone to listen to me (bad breakup), I met a woman in a stark room (some temporary room: an empty desk, 2 chairs for me and her). I remember seeing a hole on her stocking, and thinking, how a person who couldn't look after her own details, could help me in a larger matter. I also sensed a vague impatience (whatever we had, 30 or 45 min, I almost felt her tapping her fingers as if hurrying the time up). I never went back.

I think maybe I am of those who are prone to be skeptical of the thought that a person could wield power/insight over me.

Life coaches seem in the same vein to me. A couple of people I met who regarded their destiny and writing on their wall to be a life coach, seemed to me a bit shallow, (not their fault) - the bottom of their capacity ended on a shallower level than I would've expected, and I was wondering, how could they help people with deeper depths, so to speak, if they have no idea that those depths existed.

Last edited by nuala; 10-15-2012 at 07:39 AM..
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Old 10-15-2012, 09:42 AM
Location: Fredericksburg, Va
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Yes, therapy CAN and does help people...but you and the therapist MUST be the right "match"...not every therapist is right for everyone. It can take many tries to find the person who can help you. Sounds like you didn't get the right therapist!

Same with "life coaches", if you choose to use one.
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Old 10-15-2012, 09:44 AM
Location: Las Flores, Orange County, CA
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Do you need a life coach if you have a library card or an internet connection?
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Old 10-15-2012, 02:51 PM
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I think good therapists have a natural gift for counseling, this rare type do care and show much empathy to the patient. The mass of others are in it for the money, book trained clock watchers, often looking like spaced out zombies off day dreaming as the patient talks away the hour. It's much like finding a needle in a haystack to locate a good therapist. While therapy helps some people, for others it can be an expensive waste of time. It depends on the situational problems and ones mental health issues. In my case therapy wouldn't be helpful at all. One can read all about Cognitive Behavior Therapy on the internet, as well as other techniques used today. I would research the tools used in therapy and practice applicable methods that might help before beginning a series of trial and error sessions trying to find a competent and caring counselor.

Did you know most people prefer a woman Life Coach. That's men and women. If ya need some direction and have no friends or family interested in giving ya feedback then perhaps for some this fills a gap. However they are not cheap and the advice one might get could be a useless claptrap of overused therapist or new age jargon. Or it may amount to a bit of common sense with the client just wanting reaffirmation of their decision or plan. A cheering section saying the worn out phrase, "go for it". The few good ones have a natural talent for giving advice and motivating people. I'd never go to one. I could probably give them advice, truth be known.
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Old 10-17-2012, 01:38 AM
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OP, I think your one brief experience with a therapist was not the norm. Just like every person is different, well so is every therapist. Therapy can certainly help a person, but you need to find one that you click with, and you need to give it time.
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Old 10-17-2012, 06:27 AM
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It also depends on the problem a person is having - if there are solutions to that problem or not. And if the person is willing to take advice and do something to remedy the situation/problem.

Just like with kids and parents. A kid may have a problem for which there is a solution. The parent may suggest doing this or that to solve the problem. The kid may or may not follow that advice.
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Old 10-18-2012, 02:53 PM
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i think therapy is a complete waste of time and changes nothing , i realise its been commonplace in the u.s for decades however and people there have a different perspective
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Old 10-18-2012, 04:55 PM
Location: Old Town Alexandria
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Life coach-LOL. Like Tony Robbins, is what I think of . Another pop fad for insomniacs. Its amazing how gullible some people are, some even believe in Fortune Tellers/Tarot card readings
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Old 10-18-2012, 05:15 PM
Location: South Carolina
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Oh boy I just saw a therapist the other day and she and I did not hit it off at all and she kept talking about how I needed a support system , How i needed to get out of the house and get some friends , Okay so when I started telling her we dont have the money to go out and go to a movie , go out to eat etc and she just kept repeating herself so I sat down and wrote her a letter today and told her I did not think either one of us benefited from the visit and i would be seeing someone else , and I think you are very right whoever said that not all therapists are the right fit for someone . I know she was not for me , but Im hoping I can find a decent one .
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Old 10-20-2012, 08:29 PM
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You found one of the 99% I spoke of earlier. They have their scripts, their book training, they don't get what its like to be depressed, alone, to have anxiety to the point you can't leave the house, to have little money and no support system. They got their script, they may say what the one said to you, or ramble on about other nonsense not realizing or understanding the complications of doing seemingly simple things. Or they may sit and listen with the occasional uhuh. So how many times does one have to lay out money and start over again doing the history monologue. That can take a lot out of people all by itself. After a few lemons the bell rings, this is the norm. The ones at the VA are some of the worst there are. They dig the government job, it takes an act of God to fire them, so what's their motivation to do the best for their patient.

I hope you can find a good one, maybe try calling the local NAMI group and ask who people in their support groups use. Good Luck to you.
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