U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Covid-19 Information Page
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Health and Wellness > Mental Health
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 10-31-2013, 02:39 PM
 
Location: Cushing OK
14,545 posts, read 18,210,262 times
Reputation: 16829

Advertisements

After being betrayed by someone badly, I distrust people. I hold them at an arm's length. I keep 'feelings' to myself. But when I sit down to watch tv I have a furry convention all over my lap.

I also find though I love dogs and have two, I feel a deep touch with cats. A dog if you keep ordering it will give up and do it. A cat will just smile and wait to you leave and do what it wants. I'm a cat. I even enjoy the showdowns with the more stubborn among them.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 11-12-2013, 11:06 AM
 
38 posts, read 72,603 times
Reputation: 63
You're not alone. After loosing my mother at 9 & enduring physical & emotional abuse from family members, It's very difficult for me to feel emotion and open up to anyone. It affects my relationships with people. Someone said its temporary, and I hope so,but this has been going on for years so I'm not sure. I feel like a monster saying this but I don't really love anyone I know. I do however deeply care for animals & small children. They've never hurt me. Don't worry; we do have the ability to love, its just going to take a special person to bring it out.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-12-2013, 12:11 PM
 
Location: Chicago area
15,325 posts, read 8,491,629 times
Reputation: 55900
Quote:
Originally Posted by TracySam View Post
There is a well-know phenomenon called "compassion fatigue" that comes up a lot with mental health and medical professionals, first responders, and other caretakers. It's different, and more specific, than the idea of "burnout," and many of us have gone to trainings on this, to be able to recognize it in ourselves and our collegaues. Think of it like muscle fatigue, but instead of your muscle getting tired, your compassion gets tired.
But people not working in these fields can experience compassion fatigue too--when they are continually encountering people with lots of traumas, needs, and bad things happening to them, especially when they are also going through their own traumas, needs, or bad things.

It doesn't make you a bad person, and it's a temporary state. You won't turn into some sort of sociopath who has no empathy for the rest of your life. We just get overloaded, and have only so much capacity for how much we can care and really feel it.

I tend to think it's a survival mechanism. We can only handle so much in the way of emotional demands, so we switch from feeling empathy to just thinking empathically. We can act sensitively toward a person, and think "that's really terrible what she's going through," but not really FEEL anything for her. And we can't get back any capacity to feel unless something lets up, or unless we let go of some of what we're carrying around.
Yep after 25 years as a first responder in the hospitals I've just about seen it all. I've been called clinical cynical before and have ice water running through my veins as far a being able to terminate life support on someone and feel nothing. Just don't show me a hurt animal or have me watch one being put down. I totally can't handle it. People can come and go in my life but for some reason animals always live on in my heart.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-12-2013, 12:25 PM
 
Location: earth?
7,288 posts, read 11,233,891 times
Reputation: 8956
It is my experience through suffering great trauma that I walled it off (repressed the emotion). I had to for survival. I was in a grieving state for more than two years. That is just too long and I had to return to being functional. I felt relief when I walled the grief off - and it was a trade-off - I was "damaged" due to what happened to me and I will never be the same. I do pray for emotional/mental/physical/psychological healing and I perceive that that helps me.

I am also an empath and as such, cannot function in the world without walling myself off - there is just too much to cope with otherwise.

Like other empaths, I love animals and allow myself to feel more in relations to them.

With the people in my life, I feel so acutely when something bad happens to them, that I could literally pass out - and that's not good.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-25-2013, 05:25 PM
 
1 posts, read 4,445 times
Reputation: 12
Default Same here

Quote:
Originally Posted by jonathanblake View Post
I too am like this. I am a 15 year old boy who has the same problem. I feel like everyone is dead to me (except animals). i dont feel anything emotionally. Sometimes i laugh with my friends and enjoy for awhile. After that i slowly slip through that emotionless path. I had a girlfriend who used tell me i love u and i used to tell her the same thing but without any feelings, like a habit. Then when we broke up, i didnt feel any difference. Just the same old me. I even dont care about myself. As for my parents, i care about them but without any feelings. When i have a exam coming up, i dont even feel the slightest scared feeling. Can anybody please help me? I would love to get out of this shell. Thank you
That sounds a LOT like me, would you happen to be me in a parallel universe ? I think I might not be so extreme tough I actually don't feel anything while kissing the only girl I come close to liking... Anyway, I think that you need to open up to someone, personally I do have feelings but they are like alllll the way over there in the back of my mind so that wether they get satisfied or no don't affect me. So yeah if your parents aren't an option to open up to (I'd understand -_-) maybe a sibling or just a good friend. There are lots of people in this kinda situation. Just look for the shy ones who don't really exteriorise, more often than not, they are like us to some degree. Its pretty hard to make the first move, principally when you don't feel the need to do it, BUT if it does come out right it would be totally worth it for both. idk if you'll read this, but I see you hate not feeling (contradictory much ? XD ) just like I do. I don't log in here so don't bother with a reply altough i will answer an email.
Bye
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-17-2014, 01:45 AM
 
1 posts, read 3,969 times
Reputation: 10
I don't feel any emotions anymore, and I mean none. Not for my family, friends, humans, animals, or my kitten. I would hug and act as if I do but when I really don't. I just can't feel anything emotional any more and really don't seem to care. I forget how I used to feel when sad or anything but I was never fond of humans every since a very young age and don't even remember half my childhood. Like I said before, I don't seem to care if I do feel anything emotional wise or not.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-17-2014, 09:23 AM
 
Location: FROM Dixie, but IN SoCal
3,491 posts, read 5,690,356 times
Reputation: 3751
Quote:
Originally Posted by TracySam View Post
I tend to think it's a survival mechanism. We can only handle so much in the way of emotional demands, so we switch from feeling empathy to just thinking empathically. We can act sensitively toward a person, and think "that's really terrible what she's going through," but not really FEEL anything for her. And we can't get back any capacity to feel unless something lets up, or unless we let go of some of what we're carrying around.
Bingo.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-25-2014, 04:37 PM
 
Location: Virgin Islands
611 posts, read 1,283,178 times
Reputation: 591
I've always found it strange, that I can watch a "Feed the Children" type infomercial, and break down crying; but when people close to me are ill I don't feel anything. I just feel like its my responsibility to help them deal with it, but I don't necessarily get emotional. I think the only person close to me that I have any compassion for is my daughter.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-14-2014, 04:19 AM
 
1 posts, read 3,768 times
Reputation: 10
I always new this happend to other people. But for you guys somthing big set it off. Somthing you shut out. I just stopped felling. Stopped caring. I used to think there was a god. Now I just don't feel his presents. I used to love my girlfriend. Now I'm not sure. I keep on waiting for things to blow over. But they don't. I really just don't care about anything. I think I am a psychopath. But I'm not a bad person. I just do stuff. I want to feel. I want to feel like all you that can. I just can't. There are times when I can catch a glimpse of feeling. But I can never make it stay and it's getting to be few and far between. I did get pretty deppresed about everytime school started back up. And for a man my age, my hearts been broken more than i can count. Mabey thats it. I just dont have a heart left. I dont feel anger, hate, love, joy, hope, desspare or even happeness. People ask me to do things and i do it. I am not about to say life isn't far for me, but charish the love you have got. Becuse it may slip away from you like it did so suddenly to me.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-14-2014, 07:19 AM
 
16 posts, read 13,735 times
Reputation: 12
I tend to be a little like this, but since I am on Wellbutrin for depression, I have noticed it is much worse. What's weird is about the only thing I do emotionally react to, is a TV show! Talk about strange! Like I can cry to sad scenes, but anything in real life I feel more dull.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Health and Wellness > Mental Health
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2020, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top