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Old 07-16-2014, 02:43 PM
 
5,697 posts, read 5,595,592 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CTGirlNoMore View Post
After having things happen to you, and feeling beaten down. Have you noticed whether you have no emotion, good or bad?

What I mean is - one of my mother's good friend's was just diagnosed with cancer and is going for chemo. My mother is devasted and was in tears. Me - I think it's terrible, but I can't show any emotion.

I've noticed over the past years, with all the bad stuff that has happened to me, I seem to have lost compassion. But only for humans - animals I can show emotion for (like seeing/hearing about an bused one). The news tells how a 15 y/o was stabbed to death and it doesn't bother me. Show an animal needing a home and it makes me sad.

Has this happened to anyone else?


I do not judge myself based on my feelings
I just myself based on my actions
if I can not have compassion for someone facing a hard thing in their life then I need to look at why not
I just do not go around every day with a big measuring stick
we ebb and flow
none of us are perfect
if I walk around not being interested in anything but how it effects me then maybe I have grown cold
it is my job to find out why there is so much brokenness going on around us everyday am I blind to it? at the same time I can not allow myself to fall apart every time something happens
I am involved in others lives I happen to be in AA and I hear all sorts of things happy and sad every day
I care about the people in my groups if my mother has a friend facing cancer I might not feel for her friend, but I do need to feel for my mother
this is a personal barometer, I don't need to see what other people think, I need to look with in myself
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Old 07-17-2014, 05:42 AM
 
Location: Connecticut
274 posts, read 456,737 times
Reputation: 272
Quote:
Originally Posted by CTGirlNoMore View Post
After having things happen to you, and feeling beaten down. Have you noticed whether you have no emotion, good or bad?

What I mean is - one of my mother's good friend's was just diagnosed with cancer and is going for chemo. My mother is devasted and was in tears. Me - I think it's terrible, but I can't show any emotion.

I've noticed over the past years, with all the bad stuff that has happened to me, I seem to have lost compassion. But only for humans - animals I can show emotion for (like seeing/hearing about an bused one). The news tells how a 15 y/o was stabbed to death and it doesn't bother me. Show an animal needing a home and it makes me sad.

Has this happened to anyone else?
I have been going through the same thing.

Too many prolonged periods of stress and emotional trauma just seems to have burnt out those emotional parts of my brain. I am left feeling like some kind of robot just going through a simulation of being alive. No joy, no excitement, no love, no sense of loss when my sister died...nothing. I just feel sadness every day from the time that I wake up in the morning. I feel no hope that this will ever end. I think that my VA mental health provider is just going through the motions of treating me and doesn't really care if it produces any results.

I experienced a great emotional trauma when my dog was run down and died in my arms. Now I have trouble having an emotional reaction towards animals.
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Old 07-17-2014, 07:41 PM
 
6,043 posts, read 6,126,618 times
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I've had awful things in my life, and to cope with it, i put up a wall of protection and i dont feel emotions. I have felt nothing. its a protection so that more bad stuff wont further traumatize me. At least for a temporary amount of time. When things are overwhelming, I do that, its a protection. I dont make it happen, its just my body and mind doing that to me. some people turn to drugs or alcohol to self medicate to zone out, thats why people get high, same thing as zoning out when things get too overwhelming. One day it will go when I get some rest and escape by going out in nature, or driving in the car just wandering around, which is ok. Once in a while things get to me so bad I get downhearted and then i "shut down", in other words I go thru my day and just cant get myself started. but it lasts a day because when i get a good night sleep, my body will repair most or all of that.. but yeah, i just go with that, and it leaves me. sleep is the best thing for it. and then the next day, dont tackle everything all at once, but one thing at a time as i can.

Animals are very therapeutic.. they love us non-conditionally and we feel safe around them. some people feel safer around animals than their family or friends. it can calm us to pet a kitten or cat even! for realz. thats why they have therapy dogs and therapy cats taken to hospitals and nursing homes. its true!!!!
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Old 07-19-2014, 02:47 PM
 
Location: New Hampshire
4,835 posts, read 4,960,237 times
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I can relate. I used to be very affectionate and loving towards people until I became a victim of domestic violence about 5 years ago. That marriage changed me a lot. The one relationship I was in after my divorce made me even worse. My ex boyfriend manipulated me for two years and I had no idea what was going on. He is a psychopath and I feel that I am scarred for life. (I am in therapy for PTSD due to both relationships and some trauma from childhood).

The only person I am affectionate towards is my 3 year old daughter. I love her to pieces and it's not her fault that men treated me poorly in the past (including her father). But I am in a relationship again and the man is truly amazing and very gentle with me. He adores me...and it's like I am a rock. I can't reciprocate any of it. I feel like a horrible person but I don't know how to change it on my own...hence the therapy.

I am hoping it will get better.
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Old 07-20-2014, 02:52 PM
 
Location: Cushing OK
14,545 posts, read 18,219,558 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jennylynh View Post
I tend to be a little like this, but since I am on Wellbutrin for depression, I have noticed it is much worse. What's weird is about the only thing I do emotionally react to, is a TV show! Talk about strange! Like I can cry to sad scenes, but anything in real life I feel more dull.
I have some life issues which made me feel a like this, things I 'put away' because I couldn't face the huge well of feelings that opening it up would bring. But they snuck through as 'triggers' and I'd go from being sort of ok to in deep depression over seeing something which was a reminder. My doctor said the mood stablilizers I was taking were not going to work since you can't control triggers with that, but gave me a higher dose of welbrutain.

I have stuff I've written, which worked well for the pieces, since it was about people in survival mode, but there is no emotional glue there. They coast above the feelings. For survival mode that's okay but when you get into it from some trauma, its going to follow you as long as you can't put it in words, feel it out, and let it go.


I moved and quit both drugs very very slowly, and maybe the second year I lived here I did lots of crying and mourning and thinking about the stuff I hadn't wanted to. It wasn't a happy year and the mental health people said they might insist I'd take meds, which I refuse to. So I toughed it out and aside from a sad reminder now and them I know what happened and there's this 'what if'. But its past, and over. Life is now and I like it that way.

I really wonder how many drift along not really feeling on meds where it would be so much better to do the very minimal dose for support short term, and help them through the things which trigger the need, and leave them whole.
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Old 07-20-2014, 02:59 PM
 
10,730 posts, read 9,975,242 times
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I think it's probably surprisingly common and, for me, is exemplified by people's lack of interest in Syria.
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Old 07-21-2014, 03:31 AM
 
Location: Connecticut
274 posts, read 456,737 times
Reputation: 272
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennylynh View Post
I tend to be a little like this, but since I am on Wellbutrin for depression, I have noticed it is much worse. What's weird is about the only thing I do emotionally react to, is a TV show! Talk about strange! Like I can cry to sad scenes, but anything in real life I feel more dull.
Wellbutrin is the latest do-nothing drug I'm taking. The nurse I'm seeing just keeps rotating me through the same class of drugs and they all have the same result... nothing. To make things worse I'm only scheduled to see her once a month. Unless things change (for better or worse) I could be looking at another 2 years wasted on the same ineffective treatments I have been through before. I don't think I can take another 2 years of feeling like this.

I'm going to try to get transfered to another VA hospital in the state so I might have the chance to actually see a psychiatrist. They are working with Yale on a new class of medications that has been showing good results.
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Old 07-21-2014, 05:18 AM
 
Location: Armsanta Sorad
5,650 posts, read 7,067,747 times
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Not much. I really didn't show or have any emotion when my last relationship fell apart. I wasn't sympathetic enough to her and her alleged issues.
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Old 07-21-2014, 05:22 AM
 
10,968 posts, read 9,903,738 times
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I went through a period of flat-line emotions, or lack thereof. Thankfully, time has remedied that issue for me.

When I was involved in a traumatic relationship, I would turn off my emotions as a means of survival; however, turning emotions off and on too often ends up with them being 'off' all the time.

After leaving that unhealthy environment, I wondered if I'd ever feel anything again. We're all different, and again, for me, time was the healer (approx 6 years to get back on track).
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Old 07-21-2014, 03:31 PM
 
Location: Cushing OK
14,545 posts, read 18,219,558 times
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I think once learned its a tool which gets stored in your tool kit of how to deal with life. I can muddle around trying to decide something, and never get anywhere, then comes that moment when you have to and its remarkable how so many things fall by the wayside and the practical and real are all that's left. People who have gone throught tramatic things are survivors. They come out the other end they are successful ones. And while you may act 'normally' or maybe seem a little disconnected, when the moment comes the clear place where only the stuff which matters is waiting. When its just too much and can't handle a situation anymore, its much easier to run since you that isn't an unknown.

I don't think you ever 'unlearn' it, and sometimes the ability to rise above the noise is the most important tool you have in dealing with life.

I find that friends I've known who love wallowing in their misery drift off since I am not going to feed it for them by feeling sorry for what they made for themselves. Your not a bad person for having made a bad choice, but once you know it is, do something about it.
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