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Old 10-21-2012, 05:53 PM
 
72 posts, read 121,777 times
Reputation: 48

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I've been having these feelings the past 5 years or so. I just don't know exactly what I want to make me content. It seems like I'm searching and searching. I'm not sure where I want to live, not that I don't like it where I live. Maybe it's change I'm longing for? Maybe I'm bored of where I am in life now and ready for adventure to explore somewhere or something else? I guess you can say, I feel as if I'm stuck in a rut. I don't know how to get myself out or make a change. BTW, I'm in my early 40's and I'm married. I have a pretty decent life at this point. I also have friends. It just feels like I'm missing something.

It just drives me nuts because I just want to be happy and put these uncertain feelings behind me.
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Old 10-22-2012, 11:29 AM
 
4,762 posts, read 11,671,942 times
Reputation: 7878
Well I don't know what your financial/job situation is? And I don't know how understanding your wife is?

I do know that if you were to move away and leave your wife, after a period of time, you would probably miss that life and want it back!

So if it could be possibly "arranged", maybe you could take a "vacation from life"? Maybe rent an apartment in Las Vegas for a month and be a wild animal. Then after doing that, decide what you want to do. But would have the option of returning home to your job, wife, and friends.

Note my best friend (male) gets terribly homesick after being away from his wife/family for just one day!

As they say, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder!"
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Old 10-22-2012, 04:33 PM
 
72 posts, read 121,777 times
Reputation: 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy_J View Post
Well I don't know what your financial/job situation is? And I don't know how understanding your wife is?

I do know that if you were to move away and leave your wife, after a period of time, you would probably miss that life and want it back!

So if it could be possibly "arranged", maybe you could take a "vacation from life"? Maybe rent an apartment in Las Vegas for a month and be a wild animal. Then after doing that, decide what you want to do. But would have the option of returning home to your job, wife, and friends.

Note my best friend (male) gets terribly homesick after being away from his wife/family for just one day!

As they say, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder!"
It's not that as a whole. I want to be with my spouse. It's just how I feel for the both of us. I think we have similar feelings. We've come to a point in life where we feel we are stuck in a rut. Employment is an issue for both of us, meaning we are both underemployed at this point. I think we are longing for change but it seems something is always holding us back. (sale of house, family issues, employment issues, etc.)
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Old 10-23-2012, 03:01 AM
 
Location: Clovis Strong, NM
3,376 posts, read 5,034,989 times
Reputation: 1999
It's not so much the feeling of not knowing what I want out of life as far as certain things go, but the roadblocks towards obtaining those goals.
Some of you may have read the posts in the Aviation subforum in regards to Pilots, but the thing that gets me down in the dumps are these detractors urging one to stay away from a particular profession and aim for something cheaper and more financially returning instead.
You end up listening to these freaks and then 20-30 years down the road, you want to find them and kick 'em.
I'm reaching that state now where I'd rather be happy doing what I'm doing as opposed to feeling angry about listening to some off-the-wall suggestion.
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Old 10-23-2012, 05:04 AM
 
Location: Raleigh NC
1,346 posts, read 2,754,035 times
Reputation: 2320
Quote:
Originally Posted by movingacrosstown View Post
I've been having these feelings the past 5 years or so. I just don't know exactly what I want to make me content. It seems like I'm searching and searching. I'm not sure where I want to live, not that I don't like it where I live. Maybe it's change I'm longing for? Maybe I'm bored of where I am in life now and ready for adventure to explore somewhere or something else? I guess you can say, I feel as if I'm stuck in a rut. I don't know how to get myself out or make a change. BTW, I'm in my early 40's and I'm married. I have a pretty decent life at this point. I also have friends. It just feels like I'm missing something.

It just drives me nuts because I just want to be happy and put these uncertain feelings behind me.
Right there with you. It always makes me feel better when I hear that it's not just me. I could have written your post, early 40s, married, pretty decent life, bored, rut...all of it.

I know there's GOT to be more to life than just working at a boring job every day, eating, watching TV, sleeping, getting up to do it all over again.

I often wonder if I would feel differently in a different country.
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Old 10-31-2012, 07:55 PM
 
Location: Outside of Los Angeles
1,252 posts, read 2,401,756 times
Reputation: 810
When I saw this thread I knew I had to reply because I'm having similar feelings that the OP is having. I also really don't know everything that I would want out of life yet and you could say I'm still looking. I also feel like something is missing from my life. I am actually missing a special person in my life and I still miss her even when she is not around after a short time. Absence does make the heart grow fonder especially in my case. We all fee like we need to search for things and at the end of the day that's what makes us human. as i said, I am still unsure about some things too but I can live with that.
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Old 11-02-2012, 11:40 PM
 
8,314 posts, read 13,901,807 times
Reputation: 10792
I sure feel this way..
For the past 1 1/2 year I have been busy fixing my house up to sell following my husbands passing.
I thought I was past the worst of the grieving and ready to start the next chapter of my life.
Still miss him but I was excited about things ahead for myself..

But in the last 2 weeks I am sorta frozen with indesicion..House is up for sale, considering returning to work
but undecided about whether to return to old profession which was good money but boring..
Finances are fine for now , near retirement but could work 5 years to improve retirement money..

Feel like running away, driving across country, hiking appalachian trail ..ect..
But are 50 something ladies really supposed to be still "finding" themselves..
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Old 11-03-2012, 07:05 AM
 
15,803 posts, read 9,804,498 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kelly237 View Post
Feel like running away, driving across country, hiking appalachian trail ..ect..
But are 50 something ladies really supposed to be still "finding" themselves..
Yes - this, the OP, and other posts all are pretty typical during that time of life (age and situation). Those feelings are hallmarks of the classic mid-life crisis.
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Old 04-17-2013, 01:02 PM
 
72 posts, read 121,777 times
Reputation: 48
Ugh! The feelings continue We are going to make a move to another state soon. Hopefully, that will help things and give us a fresh start.
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Old 04-17-2013, 01:59 PM
 
55 posts, read 83,991 times
Reputation: 20
i love your username btw; sounds like me too. i swear at my age, my siblings age, my childrens age; it seems we should all be settled by now, but we're not; we still wander to try to fit in, to find what makes us happy; & then we move on. think back to a when you were a kid, to a happier time....what did you dream about? what did you enjoy?? then find a hobby or activity and bring it back to present day. i know it sounds wierd, but when i was a kid, i loved two things...writing...and nature, ya know like rocks & things, but neither of those things is what i do today, but i still try to find things i enjoy that include them.
good luck in your new town!
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