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Old 10-22-2012, 01:33 AM
 
36 posts, read 80,099 times
Reputation: 56

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As I lay in my bed Sunday, i cant shake off this severe depression I have been going through. I was laid off in February and have been searching for.full time work since then. I qualified for unemployment and get about $350 a week
My finances are ok, but I am beginning to.feel a sense of worthlessness. Its hard enough to take a shower everyday and fix myself sometjjng to eat. I walk my dog about 3 times a day and thats the only.time j feel sane, knowing I am.taking care of an animal and being productive. I really believe the long term unemployed go througb this, but not to this extent. I dont like going out even around familybecquse the ask how the job thing is going and I feel ashamed ive been out of qork this long. Do any of you go througb this and if so, is there anythinf yoj do that helps? I appreciate any responses. Sorry about the speeling, i am typing this on my phone.
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Old 10-22-2012, 09:26 AM
 
Location: Currently living in Reddit
5,655 posts, read 5,897,584 times
Reputation: 7286
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dellwello View Post
As I lay in my bed Sunday, i cant shake off this severe depression I have been going through. I was laid off in February and have been searching for.full time work since then. I qualified for unemployment and get about $350 a week
My finances are ok, but I am beginning to.feel a sense of worthlessness. Its hard enough to take a shower everyday and fix myself sometjjng to eat. I walk my dog about 3 times a day and thats the only.time j feel sane, knowing I am.taking care of an animal and being productive. I really believe the long term unemployed go througb this, but not to this extent. I dont like going out even around familybecquse the ask how the job thing is going and I feel ashamed ive been out of qork this long. Do any of you go througb this and if so, is there anythinf yoj do that helps? I appreciate any responses. Sorry about the speeling, i am typing this on my phone.
I feel for you. Going through all of that now and it's extremely difficult. I dropped out of corporate 10 years ago and opened a retail business. Sold that business last year, had a great job lined up and that only lasted 3 months as the project I was supposed to work on never materialized through no fault of my own. So have been out of work since February - and not able to collect unemployment because I was a small biz owner. The sale proceeds were supposed to go to retirement, but now we're living off of them, so those 'golden years' are looking less golden. And on top of that my dog died last month, so I don't even have that (like yours, he did help keep me sane).

You didn't say how old you are, but I'm in my 50s, so "big" jobs are very unlikely at what I used to make before I dropped out of corporate. Still, I look for work every day. It's almost becomes a game of how I can best craft a letter for each job that does not indicate my age while addressing the company's needs in a compelling way. I've come to expect being rejected for jobs I know I'm highly qualified to do. It's the getting rejected for the lower-paying jobs and skilled positions with non-profits that's been the worst. I've even been rejected for volunteer work!

I've had a couple of short term consulting gigs for other retailers for small money and I earn a little money on weekends at a market, but more than the money it gets me out of the house and forces me to interact with people. I cook dinner for my wife, who thankfully got a much smaller job than she deserves but it has health insurance (and cooking keeps my mind and spirit occupied). I read books and am looking into online learning courses. I work on the house. I try to get out to coffeehouses to work on job applications. I keep broadening my LinkedIn contacts. I'm trying to reinvent myself to take advantage of areas where there is work, like freelance technical writing. Yesterday I applied for a job to walk dogs for $9 per walk. Sounds silly, but I hope I get it just for mental health purposes.

I'd love to blame the economy, but that has nothing to do with it in my situation. Companies just don't hire 50-plus people re-entering the corporate world, despite updated skills (e.g. I became very good at social media as a retailer among other new skills). There are a bunch of things I can do to immediately add value for a large number of employers, but the only people interested in hiring me are life insurance companies who want me to sell policies - which ain't happening.

No doubt there have been some really black days with really black thinking. I just fight through it because I can't stop thinking there's something out there that's a good fit even if it's not where I pictured myself.

Make a plan to apply for X jobs per day. Set a specific time for job hunting, then set aside time to do other stuff (cleaning, cooking, home repairs, etc.) that uses time in a productive manner. A small thing like having a schedule you can stick to at least provides some sense of normalcy that you're still in control of some part of life. Take a small job if it doesn't get in the way of investing in the time to find a bigger one - you can always quit the small gig. Lots of places starting to hire for seasonal holiday help right now. It's something.

Just don't give up on yourself. You have to have faith that something will break if you keep at it, otherwise you won't keep at it - and then nothing will happen.
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Old 10-22-2012, 11:59 AM
 
4,762 posts, read 11,671,942 times
Reputation: 7878
Well you are not alone!

Anyway DON'T "not tell" your friends and family about not having a job. Rather tell them you are having a hard time finding anything. If they know you are looking and they hear of an opening somewhere, they might tell you about it.

Also something is better than nothing. Consider other places to work - anything. You can continue to look for a better job while working somewhere not so good.
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Old 10-22-2012, 04:32 PM
 
Location: Kansas
19,184 posts, read 15,740,065 times
Reputation: 18313
I agree, let everyone know you are looking for job because that really helps. Let them know what kind of job that you are looking for. Many people go through this these days. Also, if you have applied at different places, find out if they have a sign-in sheet at the reception desk where you can sign in each time you go in so that they know you are motivated. If there are places you would really like to work, check back at least every week. You have to be doing something, anything that you feel might increase your chances of finding employment even when it seems hopeless. Being in the right place at the right time is more than just a saying. Promote yourself. Companies get SO many applications and resumes that you have to make yourself standout. If it gets to the point where you are too depressed to go out or go out looking like you just got out of bed, you'll continue a downward spiral. Also, most state employment offices can give you tips, some have classes and testing that you can do and they often hear of openings before they post them. You can always consider some sort of counseling if this continues to be a problem.
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Old 10-22-2012, 05:08 PM
 
Location: Maine
2,270 posts, read 5,903,899 times
Reputation: 2534
In addition to what everyone else has suggested, have you thought about volunteering at all? Helping others can help tremendously to improve your feelings of self-worth. Just a thought.
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Old 10-23-2012, 01:35 AM
 
36 posts, read 80,099 times
Reputation: 56
Thanks to everyone for the warm and encouraging responses. I will try my best to.battle through this tough mental time. To answer the first gentlemans question, i am 25 and graduated college in 2010. I am fortunate in that I qualify for unemployment, but this does nothing to help my mental state. I try working out and doing puchups till I pass out, or run sprints with my dog at the park until I find it hard to breathe. I also have volunteered, but didnt get anything out of it. Im in too much of the dumps to relize how important volunteering is. I need a sense of hope. A sign that things will get better for me, but more impirtantly for the next generation. It also saddens me seeing familys move back with their parents due to the economy. I dont have insurance, so a therapist is out of the question.Thanks again everyone, u are the best. We will overcome these tough times and do our best to never let a financial collapse happen at thus magnitude. Now im going to go for a walk at.1 in the morning.
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Old 10-23-2012, 02:03 AM
 
3,946 posts, read 4,347,641 times
Reputation: 4734
If you can't afford a therapist (you can self-heal in your own ways..), here are some ideas that might help:

Rigorous running, jogging, eliptical machine, whatever it takes to get your body in motion, do it!

Music- music inspires and connects you in the smallest ways you will ever know.

As for the vegetative-like symptoms? Try a cup of Yerba-Mate- has natural antioxidants and amino acids (high in phenylalanine- a precursor to dopamine).

Exercise for natural endorphins. Diet for natural (proteins) to combat depression.

Diet. Exercise. Music. A bit of self-reflection. Art- anything to get yourself inspired again.. tough economic time, but also a chance for you to get in touch with what really motivates you. Sorta the irony of the situation, but hopefully gets you somewhere.
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Old 10-24-2012, 12:39 AM
 
13,965 posts, read 26,541,848 times
Reputation: 22967
After you tell "everyone" you're looking for a job (and assuming they all know this) if they ask you if you've found a job, etc. etc., consider telling them that it is hard to hear that question again and again, that you appreciate their interest, and that you'll be sure to tell them when you have news.
I told a job-searching friend of mine that I wouldn't be asking him anything, that I was sure he'd let me know when he had news. He appreciated this.
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Old 10-25-2012, 01:28 AM
 
36 posts, read 80,099 times
Reputation: 56
You guys are the best. I am going to try incorporating the advice given to me. I got a personal trainer teaching me correct lifting form. Its discouraging after getting rejection after rejection, but i gotta fight through it. Wish me luck and god bless all of you.
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Old 10-29-2012, 08:17 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
18,234 posts, read 18,815,911 times
Reputation: 45434
Quote:
Originally Posted by sskink View Post
I feel for you. Going through all of that now and it's extremely difficult. I dropped out of corporate 10 years ago and opened a retail business. Sold that business last year, had a great job lined up and that only lasted 3 months as the project I was supposed to work on never materialized through no fault of my own. So have been out of work since February - and not able to collect unemployment because I was a small biz owner. The sale proceeds were supposed to go to retirement, but now we're living off of them, so those 'golden years' are looking less golden. And on top of that my dog died last month, so I don't even have that (like yours, he did help keep me sane).

You didn't say how old you are, but I'm in my 50s, so "big" jobs are very unlikely at what I used to make before I dropped out of corporate. Still, I look for work every day. It's almost becomes a game of how I can best craft a letter for each job that does not indicate my age while addressing the company's needs in a compelling way. I've come to expect being rejected for jobs I know I'm highly qualified to do. It's the getting rejected for the lower-paying jobs and skilled positions with non-profits that's been the worst. I've even been rejected for volunteer work!

I've had a couple of short term consulting gigs for other retailers for small money and I earn a little money on weekends at a market, but more than the money it gets me out of the house and forces me to interact with people. I cook dinner for my wife, who thankfully got a much smaller job than she deserves but it has health insurance (and cooking keeps my mind and spirit occupied). I read books and am looking into online learning courses. I work on the house. I try to get out to coffeehouses to work on job applications. I keep broadening my LinkedIn contacts. I'm trying to reinvent myself to take advantage of areas where there is work, like freelance technical writing. Yesterday I applied for a job to walk dogs for $9 per walk. Sounds silly, but I hope I get it just for mental health purposes.

I'd love to blame the economy, but that has nothing to do with it in my situation. Companies just don't hire 50-plus people re-entering the corporate world, despite updated skills (e.g. I became very good at social media as a retailer among other new skills). There are a bunch of things I can do to immediately add value for a large number of employers, but the only people interested in hiring me are life insurance companies who want me to sell policies - which ain't happening.

No doubt there have been some really black days with really black thinking. I just fight through it because I can't stop thinking there's something out there that's a good fit even if it's not where I pictured myself.

Make a plan to apply for X jobs per day. Set a specific time for job hunting, then set aside time to do other stuff (cleaning, cooking, home repairs, etc.) that uses time in a productive manner. A small thing like having a schedule you can stick to at least provides some sense of normalcy that you're still in control of some part of life. Take a small job if it doesn't get in the way of investing in the time to find a bigger one - you can always quit the small gig. Lots of places starting to hire for seasonal holiday help right now. It's something.

Just don't give up on yourself. You have to have faith that something will break if you keep at it, otherwise you won't keep at it - and then nothing will happen.
These are some excellent suggestions.
Good luck to you.
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