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Old 10-24-2012, 10:14 AM
 
Location: South Carolina
14,384 posts, read 19,797,854 times
Reputation: 25805

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Hi all ,I dont really like this new therapist Im seeing and she is definately not a people person . I dont feel comfortable with her and I feel as though she does not listen much if at all . I hate her writing down everything i say ... have any of you dealt with this ? and how did you terminate your relationship with a therapist.
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Old 10-24-2012, 10:22 AM
 
Location: AZ
741 posts, read 1,448,006 times
Reputation: 1464
Sorry that you're having this problem..I have seen many therapists and never liked any of them and I've given up on ever finding one that I feel comfortable with..

A few years ago I had a therapist that I decided to stop seeing and she called me every week for about a year.. She never gave up on trying to get me to come back..She started calling my husband too, to try to get in touch with me. I never did talk to her but I kept thinking that she must think that I am reallly crazy to keep calling me!!

She finally stopped calling-thank God

I recommend letting them know that you will no longer be needing their services or they may try to call you constantly like mine did.. good luck
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Old 10-24-2012, 10:26 AM
 
4,761 posts, read 11,702,326 times
Reputation: 7878
You say "new therapist"...

As in you switched to this this therapist from another therapist?

Or as in you have not seen a therapist before, this is your first time, and this is "new" as in you recently started seeing her?

So far as what to tell your therapist, say the following:

"I don't really like you. You are definitely not a people person. I don't feel comfortable with you and I feel as though you do not listen much if at all. I hate you writing down everything I say."
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Old 10-24-2012, 06:50 PM
 
Location: FL
1,727 posts, read 2,247,359 times
Reputation: 1047
Yes, I've met two therapists that weren't so great. It's okay if you don't like your therapists. Not every therapist is a good fit for every person.

Each therapist has their own personality and used their own methods. If this one isn't working out for you, find a new one. No need for a legnthy explanation. Just say it's not working out for you and you would like to see if there is someone else who might be more effective for you.
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Old 10-25-2012, 06:12 AM
 
Location: So Ca
17,654 posts, read 16,428,295 times
Reputation: 15427
Quote:
Originally Posted by phonelady61 View Post
I dont feel comfortable with her and I feel as though she does not listen much if at all...how did you terminate your relationship with a therapist?
You don't need to go into details; what looking4answers said was perfect, i.e. it's just not a good fit. (If you told her the truth, it sounds as if she would just convince you to stay. She must not have worked out her own issues in her internship.)

I think the relationship between the therapist and client is crucial. You aren't going to make any changes if you don't feel comfortable with the person you're seeing. In a sense, therapy is about re-parenting. Therapists are supposed to be helping clients see the world in a different way and clients are not going to take the risk of changing their attitudes, feelings or behavior if they don't like/trust/feel comfortable with their therapist.
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Old 10-25-2012, 06:20 AM
 
4,782 posts, read 5,070,009 times
Reputation: 10809
never stay with a therapist you don't like or can't work with... you'll never get any work done. Aside from wasting your money.
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Old 10-25-2012, 06:27 AM
 
16,056 posts, read 20,687,874 times
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You have the right to see a different therapist. Most are writing down notes, but if you do not feel comfortable w/ this one, find one that you feel more able to talk to. That is the whole point of therapy...being able to talk to them and by doing so give them the information about you that will help them assess and make suggestions that apply to your needs, there by helping you help yourself. Good luck...Just ask her to refer you to someone else...or tell her you prefer to find another therapist and ask friends or someone you trust for a suggestion.
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Old 10-25-2012, 06:52 AM
 
Location: Southern New Hampshire
7,635 posts, read 13,454,837 times
Reputation: 24147
I have had 2 therapists that I really liked a lot (one where I used to live, one where I live now). Both had a lot of empathy and I felt that they cared. I can't imagine staying with one that I didn't like.

I did try a couple others before I found the 2nd one I liked. One used a kind of therapy that asked adults (and kids when she saw them) to play in a sandbox. Um, sorry, no thanks. (No offense meant to anyone for whom that worked!) The other just didn't come across as a very nice person. With both, I just said I didn't feel like it was a good fit.
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Old 10-25-2012, 06:54 AM
 
Location: Bergen County, NJ
1,603 posts, read 3,743,246 times
Reputation: 1838
Yes. I used to see a therapist a few years ago, and it took about 4 before I found one I liked ... As far as terminating the appointments. When asked, "Same time next week,"? I replied, "No". And, that was it.
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Old 10-25-2012, 09:30 AM
 
Location: Camberville
12,551 posts, read 17,451,036 times
Reputation: 21225
I had a therapist who was 15 minutes late (and since I was going to an appointment on my lunch hour, that was hugely disruptive), blamed her carpal tunnel. She then proceeded to spend the first 5 minutes of the appointment setting up her ergonomic accompaniments for her chair, wrapping ice around her wrists, and generally be very distracting for me. She then had the audacity to say "Well, I'm sure you know what it's like". Mind you, I was visiting her as a way of dealing with cancer treatments when I was just 23 years old. I have never been so livid.

After I got out of the appointment, I immediately called her and told her I would no longer be seeing her. I couldn't do it face to face. She called back acknowledging the call. It's been more than a year and she still calls me about the "cancellation fee" that I was never told about nor signed for for the appointment I had scheduled more than a week later. Horrible woman.
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