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Old 10-31-2012, 11:48 AM
 
Location: North Texas
24,576 posts, read 34,315,234 times
Reputation: 28402

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I am originally from the city of Dallas; born here, raised here. I have not lived here much as an adult except for the past few years.

I have to be honest...there is a reason I left Dallas when I was 18 to go to college. I HATED Dallas then. I wanted nothing more than to be far, far, far away from it.

When I returned to the U.S. from living abroad, I came back to Dallas because I had a built-in support network in my family and overseas moves are extremely disruptive. It's a massive undertaking and would have been much more stressful if I had had to rent a place sight unseen without first having a job...there's also the thorny matter of a car. It was just easier to stay with my parents while I sorted out car, job, and living arrangements in Dallas itself. I thought, "How bad can Dallas be? I bet it's changed a lot for the better since the early 1990s."

I gave it a chance, I think.

I've been here over 5 years now and I've again come to the conclusion that I hate it here and would be happier somewhere else. Then again, I also suspect that this itchy-footed urge to get out of Dallas might be due, at least in part, to dissatisfaction with my own personal life that has nothing to do with Dallas, or may or may not be ameliorated by leaving the area.

It boils down to this. People in Dallas are buttholes. Big ones. The dating pool here is a joke. If the men aren't taken, they're usually gigolos, obese, stupid, annoying, unemployed, or any combination of those. People here are so flaky. It's hard for me to make friends because it's hard to find women my age who are also single and childless...and married women/moms usually want nothing to do with us SINKs. When I can find other SINKs, they're usually flaky as hell or simply don't have the same interests that I do. It sucks.

On the other hand, I like my neighborhood...though it wouldn't be hard to find something similar elsewhere. I like my job, but I could do it from anywhere I want.
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Old 11-01-2012, 10:41 AM
 
4,761 posts, read 11,702,326 times
Reputation: 7878
Well they do call it the "United States of Texas!" But it seems to me similar people live in the southern states like Texas, Louisiana, and Mississippi.

I have heard that Austin, Texas is nicer and different from other parts of Texas.

Then the mid-west would be quite different, Iowa, Nebraska, etc.

Salt Lake City and Utah with all those Mormons would be QUITE different!

And lots of nice people in the Pacific Northwest. Washington State, Oregon.

I would suggest traveling around a bit. Or perhaps you could "travel around" by posting questions about the people in various areas on this forum in the States area.
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Old 11-01-2012, 11:04 AM
 
Location: Dallas
613 posts, read 932,177 times
Reputation: 549
How old are you? I'll tell you my experience real quick. I grew up in Boston. Joined the military (national guard) when I was 20. I was deployed alot gone for a year home for a year and when I was finally done got a job as a cop and tried to settle in. Now during my deployments all my friends got married and started having kids. So trying to go out and meet people sucked I had all my family there but I still felt like something was missing. So I decided to take a chance and move to Dallas. I've been here for 2 years and Ill tell you its the same thing just a different place. Dating is still tough, I dont have too many friends only thing different is I own a house and stuff is cheaper here than Boston. My point is no matter where you go you will probably still face the same problems just gotta keep trying Im 30 by the way. Hope this helps and dont give up dating sucks!
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Old 11-01-2012, 02:14 PM
 
Location: Las Flores, Orange County, CA
26,345 posts, read 84,805,064 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BigDGeek View Post
I HATED Dallas then. I wanted nothing more than to be far, far, far away from it.


I came back to Dallas because I had a built-in support network in my family

I've again come to the conclusion that I hate it here and would be happier somewhere else.

dissatisfaction with my own personal life that has nothing to do with Dallas,

People in Dallas are buttholes. .
It's you.

Moving elsewhere isn't going to change anything. People are about the same in Dallas as they are in any other big city. You might find changes moving to a smaller city or to a rural area. But you won't see too much difference in Los Angeles, or Denver or Atlanta, or Boston.

Now, different cities have other differences (economics, housing prices, transportation, climate, industries, some cultural, etc) but people in the same environment are going to behave about the same in the same environment somewhere else.
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Old 11-01-2012, 02:46 PM
 
1,430 posts, read 2,000,007 times
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Hey...who else thinks BigDgeek and Steve should get together?!
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Old 11-01-2012, 05:40 PM
 
Location: North Texas
24,576 posts, read 34,315,234 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by breakingbad View Post
Hey...who else thinks BigDgeek and Steve should get together?!
I'm too old for him; too old for someone who can't remember where they were when the Challenger blew up or when the wall came down. Last BF was younger than I was...not doing that again! I'm 37.
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Old 11-01-2012, 09:38 PM
 
Location: Dallas
2,132 posts, read 2,688,906 times
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Why is this in the mental health section?

Anyway, IMO it's a little bit of both. It's not just you who feels this way about Dallas. I think everyone has a love/hate relationship with DFW, and being single sucks when it seems like everyone else has someone, but I think it's common everywhere.
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Old 11-02-2012, 04:12 AM
 
5,239 posts, read 6,978,477 times
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Being in a place you like doesn't cure everything, but it can help. As far as meeting new people, the options are about the same anyplace. I think that was touched on in another thread. A new start does sometimes changes ones perspective and make one more positive about the future. From what I've read the south and midwest have the most obese people. As far as stupid, there is an ample supply nationwide. Where were you living when abroad? Were you happier there?

You've been there 5 years and aren't happy, why stay if you really don't like it? Why not try and find a place you would like better. Do you have any places in mind? Some people are stuck due to job and family, you have the option of moving and starting fresh. Why not give it a try. Good Luck.
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Old 11-02-2012, 04:18 AM
 
Location: Mayberry
32,467 posts, read 13,449,892 times
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Just remember BigD, wherever you go, you have to take you with you! I've tried moving and although exciting at first, the same ol problems crept back, why? Because it was me, not the places I was living. I really want to move back to Ca but my Dad is elderly so I'm staying till the situation changes, so I've decided to make the best of it. That means my thinking has to change and it is.
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Old 11-02-2012, 07:32 AM
 
Location: North Texas
24,576 posts, read 34,315,234 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Charles View Post
It's you.

Moving elsewhere isn't going to change anything. People are about the same in Dallas as they are in any other big city. You might find changes moving to a smaller city or to a rural area. But you won't see too much difference in Los Angeles, or Denver or Atlanta, or Boston.

Now, different cities have other differences (economics, housing prices, transportation, climate, industries, some cultural, etc) but people in the same environment are going to behave about the same in the same environment somewhere else.
I disagree; I don't think people are the same everywhere you go. Certain cities and even areas within cities have a certain vibe to them, and certain cities attract different types of people based on different priorities. DFW seems to attract very self-centered, materialistic, conservative, douchey types.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RonnieinDallas View Post
Why is this in the mental health section?
Didn't know where else to put it. I didn't think it belonged in the Dallas section, and I wasn't interested in the answers I'd get there anyway. I know the people in that forum; the cheerleaders would say "it's you" and the Dallas-bashers would say "it's Dallas". I wanted some different perspectives.

Quote:
Anyway, IMO it's a little bit of both. It's not just you who feels this way about Dallas. I think everyone has a love/hate relationship with DFW, and being single sucks when it seems like everyone else has someone, but I think it's common everywhere.
I'm not pining away for someone, but I will admit I'm bored stiff most days.


Quote:
Originally Posted by todd00 View Post
Being in a place you like doesn't cure everything, but it can help. As far as meeting new people, the options are about the same anyplace. I think that was touched on in another thread. A new start does sometimes changes ones perspective and make one more positive about the future. From what I've read the south and midwest have the most obese people. As far as stupid, there is an ample supply nationwide. Where were you living when abroad? Were you happier there?

You've been there 5 years and aren't happy, why stay if you really don't like it? Why not try and find a place you would like better. Do you have any places in mind? Some people are stuck due to job and family, you have the option of moving and starting fresh. Why not give it a try. Good Luck.
I took that 'find my spot' quiz and of the 24 cities it recommended, only 2 were in the south (Little Rock and Shreveport) and 7 were in Wisconsin. I don't think I'd want to go as far away as that. Maybe Tulsa or St Louis or KCMO.

In the 2000s I spent varying amounts of time in Poland, Germany, France, and England. I think of all of them I liked Germany the most overall, though the food was better in England. I got a distinct anti-Semitic vibe in all of those countries though. It got to the point in France where I wouldn't tell anyone I was Jewish because they either wanted to bash Arabs to me (assuming I'd agree with them) or they'd start bashing Israel (assuming I supported Israel unconditionally). In England I didn't like admitting I was American because people were so ugly about GWB (whom I did not vote for). Europeans can be pretty nasty, just like Americans.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tasmtairy View Post
Just remember BigD, wherever you go, you have to take you with you! I've tried moving and although exciting at first, the same ol problems crept back, why? Because it was me, not the places I was living. I really want to move back to Ca but my Dad is elderly so I'm staying till the situation changes, so I've decided to make the best of it. That means my thinking has to change and it is.
I've tried that though. Tried for 2 years. Tried different things. Even saw a therapist. It's not getting better despite my best efforts.
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