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Old 11-06-2012, 02:33 PM
 
12,120 posts, read 29,338,308 times
Reputation: 3810

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I am looking for another poster who can DM me because Ive found on other boards(this forum has proved to be better but still...) people can tend to get nasty and facetious. I am looking for a very nice non judgmental person who has the time to DM me and talk to me about this problem. Ive been like this before in fact as recent as 2 years ago but i handled it much better than i am handling it now. Im depressed obssessed and have been eavesdropping on her conversations. Normally Ive been excellent at avoiding attractions to inappropriate people but this time i just can't help it. I would post on the MH forum but like I say sometimes people can be nasty and abrupt

if you don't have the time or don't want to tread on this topic pls don't DM me as i don't want to waste your time. Im still OK but I need someone understanding and non judgmental to talk to, perhaps someone who has been here themselves.

thanks
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Old 11-06-2012, 02:50 PM
 
Location: Mississippi
1,248 posts, read 1,877,675 times
Reputation: 2500
I would suggest some therapy before you get slapped with a restraining order. I do applaud you for realizing that you need some help.
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Old 11-06-2012, 03:02 PM
 
12,120 posts, read 29,338,308 times
Reputation: 3810
hah? ive always eavesdropped (pressing my ear against the wall) and never been cited for anything. c'mon now. i have a reputation of being the gentleman. nobody even knows i like her for God's sake.

restraining order? precisely for doing WHAT??
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Old 11-06-2012, 03:08 PM
 
Location: Mississippi
1,248 posts, read 1,877,675 times
Reputation: 2500
The fact that you don't see anything wrong with pressing your ear against the wall to eavesdrop on someone's converstation is disturbing. You should seek therapy immediately.
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Old 11-07-2012, 11:01 AM
 
4,762 posts, read 11,692,463 times
Reputation: 7878
Perhaps the problem is being "secretive" about your feelings toward this girl? And along with this wanting to hold a "secretive" conversation with someone about this as opposed to "openly" discussing it here (if that is what "DM" means?).

If you like her, tell her. She will either want to get more involved with you or not. Then the matter is settled! If she is not interested, then you can move on with your life and find someone else. Although I would recommend finding someone outside of work.

So far as openly discussing your thoughts and feelings here, that is for the best because you will get real life feedback. That is healthy and the best for you. You many not like what some people have to say, but you get the facts and then will know how other people feel about this or that. And can get good advice which you may or may not want to consider.

Part of mental health is being "in touch" with what other people think - reality.
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Old 11-07-2012, 11:15 AM
 
7,493 posts, read 10,148,989 times
Reputation: 7394
If this is affecting you so much you should get some help. Life doesn't have to be like this. Good luck to you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Madeline2121 View Post
The fact that you don't see anything wrong with pressing your ear against the wall to eavesdrop on someone's converstation is disturbing. You should seek therapy immediately.
Whoa. You're taking a risk of posing about 80% of the human population; gossipers; with that.
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Old 11-07-2012, 02:43 PM
 
12,120 posts, read 29,338,308 times
Reputation: 3810
great posts Billy and Osito. I forced myself to feel better last night by going to a website that kind of saw the humor in this kind of thing. Today was far better and the only problem today is my being able to find a gas station open where i don't have to wait for gas on a long line (I am in NY City) as a result of last week's hurricane. I want to try to enjoy the weekend and i might have to drive up to Conn to fill up my tank (luckily i still have 60% full) but it might be worth it cause i love Connecticut anyway

it's been a long summer. i lost both parents within the past 4 years then had to have surgery for a melanoma. im fine now and cancer free thank heavens and i hope it stays that way. maybe all the stress and worry just got to me but things are better now, at least for the time being

you two certainly know how to talk to me and remove the stigma

regards

rlrl
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Old 11-07-2012, 02:54 PM
 
12,120 posts, read 29,338,308 times
Reputation: 3810
i forgot to tell you guys she always acts very flirty with me, so that's why i developed these feelings. always touching and getting close, sometimes too close. i really haven't noticed if she does this with others. my point in bringing this up is that i am not going to just look at anyone if i didn't have a reason. yesterday was a horrid day but today is far better.
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Old 11-07-2012, 10:36 PM
 
12,630 posts, read 18,569,593 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rlrl View Post
i forgot to tell you guys she always acts very flirty with me, so that's why i developed these feelings. always touching and getting close, sometimes too close. i really haven't noticed if she does this with others. my point in bringing this up is that i am not going to just look at anyone if i didn't have a reason. yesterday was a horrid day but today is far better.
Sometimes men think that just because a lady is "nice" to them they take it other than what it is intended because they want something to be there.
Sometimes it is not flirting and just well, Nothing. with No Meaning......

Pressing your ear to the wall is disturbing and juvenile. Not what should be happening in a adult workplace.
The fact that you don't notice if she is this way with others also leads to my suspicion that you are wanting this to be something maybe more than it should be as you stated that you are much older. She may look to you as a father figure more than a love interest.

I also am in line with you getting counseling. One for your depression which might have you thinking this she is nice you are depressed and feelings start on your side but maybe not hers.
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Old 11-16-2012, 03:35 PM
 
13,051 posts, read 16,119,396 times
Reputation: 15249
rlrl...you say you're "Badly preoccupied with a much younger female"....how much younger are we talking?
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