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Excellent plan! I used to live by the beach, but did not go too often.
I am going to work on getting my house under control. I have so much anxiety about it. I have just been so exhausted, I manage maintaining employment right now.
LOL, good point. Shut up, doc, and just write the scrip.
You are right. The present CAN foster depression and anxiety if the right now isn't all that great.
I am terrible around Christmas because I remember all the sad and terrible Christmases of my marriage. I had so much hope once, and it's gone forever. But I did get a great kid out of the deal, and once she arrived on Christmas Eve I felt better. She came home from her school, spent a couple of days with her dad, and then came to me for Christmas and is here until tomorrow. But, SHE was so upset because her father (an alcoholic who is currently unemployed) seems to be doing nothing to change his situation, plus she found out that he has some new, serious health problems she didn't know about. So, I just listened to HER worries and let her talk, even though I'm not feeling particularly sorry for this mean, selfish doofus who made my life so miserable and permanently damaged my financial situation. He's still her father. I used to want so desperately for him to drop dead--it seemed like the only sensible solution at the time--but I did realize yesterday that I'm not happy to learn he is diabetic and having other health issues, so I guess I've improved as a person.
I could say most of that. I've now sort of blanked out the married years except for my son. Neither I nor him had contact with his father, now want any. But I got to talk to him last night and it was wonderful talking. He's on the cusp of a lot of decisions he must make and I'll respect them, but next year he plans to visit. I hope he'll consider staying longer. But if he doesn't I know its his life.
I once wished my ex to die soon, but now just don't care about him. He made his hole, let him live in it. I do mourn for the lost time I had with him, but then there is my son. Life goes on. I still have anger at him but its not so strong now. It won't ever lead to more, but that's okay. We don't always get the time we want, but we *learn* from all of it.
If I could do it all again I'd want to do it knowing all I've learned from the mistakes too, but I guess it doesn't work that way.
Well Xmas is over and glad we all survived. New Year's is not a big deal and never has been, always go to bed early and this year I work New Year's Day. I work with Developmentally Disabled persons, that can sometimes add to my depression, it's emotionally draining. Glad you guys are all here!
Excellent plan! I used to live by the beach, but did not go too often.
I am going to work on getting my house under control. I have so much anxiety about it. I have just been so exhausted, I manage maintaining employment right now.
Looking forward to a vacation in Vegas in April.
That sounds great. I'm in the same boat. I'm so tired, and my life revolves around work. Long hours, long commute, and nothing I can do about it for the time being. I just have to suck it up. But this week I kind of crashed--throat started feeling scratchy on Christmas, nose running, now I'm home sick with a bad cough. First time I've been out sick in years, but the joke's on them--I had two planned days off in December that I had to cancel because of meetings that were SO important we couldn't reschedule them...I think I just pushed myself to the point where my immunity was down.
I'm ignoring the remark about getting the house under control lest my own anxiety in that regard go of the charts...
I could say most of that. I've now sort of blanked out the married years except for my son. Neither I nor him had contact with his father, now want any. But I got to talk to him last night and it was wonderful talking. He's on the cusp of a lot of decisions he must make and I'll respect them, but next year he plans to visit. I hope he'll consider staying longer. But if he doesn't I know its his life.
I once wished my ex to die soon, but now just don't care about him. He made his hole, let him live in it. I do mourn for the lost time I had with him, but then there is my son. Life goes on. I still have anger at him but its not so strong now. It won't ever lead to more, but that's okay. We don't always get the time we want, but we *learn* from all of it.
If I could do it all again I'd want to do it knowing all I've learned from the mistakes too, but I guess it doesn't work that way.
New Years is a time of reflection for me. Look back and think of the past year and how time moves forward though ones own life still remains in a stuck in da muck state. Pollyana types online can preach about the future, but they don't really know that individual and their life. The year changes but its not like all the same problems aren't carried on with it. It's basically just another day of the same thing. One hopes and tries to figure how to make it better, but in some cases others control things, waiting on contractors that don't keep their word, on houses to sell, or on government bodies that creep slower than any animal ever alive. Nothing gripes me more than Pollyana types that spew optimism without knowing any of the facts of a situation. When you present them with facts they become angry and say you are being negative, no I'm being realistic based on the situation. Ever have anyone do that to you? It's easy to discount the wasted time when its not you that has been waiting, when its not your life.
I'm usually at my worst on very pretty, nice days, it makes me more aware I'm missing out on things. I haven't lost the anger for the ex, maybe when things get better I will.
If I was in Cali with one of my true friends, I wouldn't be so depressed. It's important to have someone in your life that loves you unconditionally, that knows you in and out, that has been there for your trials and tribulations. I've found it very important as my family has no understanding about my emotions. Every thing to them is "will", everything can be overcome with the will.
I wish that was true for me, but it's not. Maybe I need more will power. How much of what we do, think, believe and act upon is from will power?
Well Xmas is over and glad we all survived. New Year's is not a big deal and never has been, always go to bed early and this year I work New Year's Day. I work with Developmentally Disabled persons, that can sometimes add to my depression, it's emotionally draining. Glad you guys are all here!
Yes we all made it, NYE doesn't bother me, in fact I enjoy watching the ball drop on tv. I have to laugh at all the nuts standing in those pens for hrs. To each his own. Happy New Year to all!
I've got a couple of personal what ifs which sound soooo good, except the me I'm thinking about is the now me and I'm sure I'd have been just as miserable as I was in the way it was.
It's interesting to pick a decision made by you or someone for you which would have made a huge difference. For me, not moving next to the power plant with the toxic dump next to it, not getting sick from it and not having an lifelong medical teather would be an improvement however it turned out.
What's really frustrating is someone who had gone through the same mistakes and you just want to grab them and say no, your doing it the wrong way.... And they don't get it at all.
Well Christmas is over and we survived. I made the most of it and my mom was very surprised when I called, asked if the coffee was on and that I was 30 minutes away! I had lots of time to think on the drive. My ex (who said she wanted to get back with me and I was very up in the air about it) said that she would check in with me after her dinner. It is 2pm the next day without a word.
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