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I've been depressed for years and lately the thought of being dead gives me an overwhelming sense of relief. But then one time I tried to cut myself and couldn't even break the skin. Is this a sign that I actually want to live?
Have you been in any therapy or counseling and if not, you need to talk with someone ASAP. Do you have family or friends that you have talked with about this? You are looking for an "escape" rather to try to turn this around? There are better ways to change your situation. Get help. I have seen what therapy and the PROPER medication can do for someone.
I've been depressed for years and lately the thought of being dead gives me an overwhelming sense of relief. But then one time I tried to cut myself and couldn't even break the skin. Is this a sign that I actually want to live?
Yes, it is.
I'd imagine that you don't really want to be "dead", you just need to change some things around in your life.
I think it's easy to be suicidal...I've been doing it for years...but it's hard to actually go through with it. Why? It's like, giving up everything you've ever known for something that you have no idea the nature of. It's a foolish gamble.
The sad part is that humans are foolish. So we still wonder...
All I can say is just that it's your life. If you don't want it anymore, you can swap it for a new one. Just start making changes...any change.
And that you're not the only one who goes through things. I've been chugging along for three years now...so I guess I'm living my life. And, it hasn't been easy. As far as I can tell, there isn't an easy fix that makes things all better. Pills don't work, other mood changers don't work, talking about it doesn't work...
About the only thing that does is just yourself constantly reminding you that you're not yet done on earth because if you were you wouldn't be so worried about everything.
Or, that's the way it is in my case.
It's more or less a lone voice of irrationality that stubbornly persists in being happy, despite all the evidence that suggests it's foolish to be so. I'd say, learn how to train that voice...that sense...don't over use it...but just let it be known to you that the sense will have the final say.
So far, it hasn't let me down. I'm still here...
Last edited by dub dub II; 11-22-2012 at 12:09 AM..
When I've been depressed, I've thought about killing myself. But then I think how it will effect other people: family, friends. Just don't do it, it may be the easy way out, but it's not the best way out. Please get help. I wish you the best of luck.
Don't do it. Yes it's a sign.
Unless you really want the people in your life to really be pissed off at you.
Don't do it. When your family and friends are pissed at you it's cuz they care.
I am still pissed at my daddy for putting a gun to his head.
It's a sign you found this forum too! ( you are a new poster right?)
Unless you are some MONSTER amongst society, is your life that desolate and you have nothing to contribute to this world?????
Get back, or get some medication and someone to talk to. FAST
I think back, and my dads last comments were he had no one to talk to in his life!
He did though...he had dug his hole in life so deep full of secrets, it was hard for him to admit failure to people who loved him dearly.
he did not have to take his life. His problems could have been fixed. it would have taken lots of money, maybe some time in jail, and some psychiatric help, but all that was not worth his death.
My dad will never know what a great grandpa he could have been.
Don't make your family and friends wonder about all the things you could have been too.
I don't know why you are depressed. is it by your own will, or through someone else who caused you pain, but there is ALWAYS HOPE.
I've never actually been suicidal to the point of trying to do anything, but I can relate to the feeling of wanting to escape life completely. However, I have children, and although they're adults now, I decided a long time ago that I could never put such a burden on them. It would be extremely unfair. I read somewhere that every suicide affects an average of seven other people. That's a lot more than I expected. When you think about it, suicide is the ultimate selfish act. You're literally checking out, leaving other people to clean up the mess. It's no wonder that the survivors feel so much anger towards the victim.
I knew someone who killed himself, and his family and friends were devastated. He did it when he was drunk and alone one night, and his wife was away on a business trip. I'm not sure who found him, but yikes! No note, nothing. Suicidal people should stay away from alcohol, as alcohol is a known depressant. This guy had a huge support system of siblings, a teenage son, a wife, his parents, etc. and he still took his own life. I wonder what demons were driving him? So sad.
To the OP, if you can't afford therapy, try listening to upbeat, happy music. Go for a brisk walk if possible. Try to find two beautiful things each day; they can be as simple as the way the sunlight glints through the leaves of a tree. These methods work for me. It's when I sit inside, focusing on myself too much, that I tend to get more depressed. You need to get "out" of yourself.
It might help to call 1 800 SUICIDE. People with
compassion can talk with you at the most intense moments.
Excellent recommendation!
My recommendation to add to that is get an appointment today with your family doctor, tell the doctor what you just told us you are feeling, & ask for a complete medical work-up, including blood tests for hypothyroid of which depression is a symptom. The symptom of depression can be alleviated with the correct treatments.
Hope to hear from you regarding how you are doing!!
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