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Thank you for sharing your personal story - this is not meant to be dismissive of your "bad news," because I am sure it was shocking and upsetting (and continues to be) - AND we know our parents are going to predecease us - that is the natural order of things. I am not talking about this kind of bad news.
I am talking about the kind of bad news that you could never anticipate - that is like a bomb going off in your life - that creates, not just sadness, but destruction. There is a huge difference and that is what I am talking about.
Post Script: Not taking the bait at your attempt to discredit my intelligence at the start of your response.
And I won't be explaining the Enneagram to you - you may look it up or have your six year old son do it for you, if the spirit moves either one of you.
If I wanted to discredit your intelligence, there are far more effective ways to do that. I'm trying to understand your POV however. Also, you mentioned Enneagram, so it makes sense for you to explain it. Or you could've just been more direct in what you meant, without reference to it. Again, your views and inquiries are very similar to a very troubled friend of one of my clients, so I'm not here to alienate you. Continue to share.
What kind of bad news are you talking about, that is so destructive? This is subjective of course, since what one person considers destructive may not be what you consider destructive. Please clarify.
If I wanted to discredit your intelligence, there are far more effective ways to do that. I'm trying to understand your POV however. Also, you mentioned Enneagram, so it makes sense for you to explain it. Or you could've just been more direct in what you meant, without reference to it. Again, your views and inquiries are very similar to a very troubled friend of one of my clients, so I'm not here to alienate you. Continue to share.
What kind of bad news are you talking about, that is so destructive? This is subjective of course, since what one person considers destructive may not be what you consider destructive. Please clarify.
I would greatly appreciate it if you would kindly stop following me around from thread to thread and attempting to discredit what I am saying (you just left a post on U M saying you don't "believe" in such-and-so . . . and now you are over here telling me I remind you of a "very troubled friend of one of your clients." It's almost "defamation of character."
I "get" that we have different world views - you will probably never understand or validate my point-of-view and vice versa - but I will not insult you by saying you remind me of someone who is "very disturbed." You do recognize that as an insult, right?
I mentioned Five on the Enneagram because your writings struck me as reminiscent of that particular point and it is easy enough to put into a search engine. I am not going to spoon feed you ten year's of my study of the Enneagram when you can look it up yourself, if you are so interested. It is not something that can be "explained" in a sentence or two.
What I consider destructive is highly personal and I certainly would not share it with you so you can attempt to rip me apart and tell me it really is not "destructive" (as you have alluded in your last sentences).
If you don't "believe" in anything I write about and think I am "very troubled," why on Earth are you following me around and seeking me out?
I would greatly appreciate it if you would kindly stop following me around from thread to thread and attempting to discredit what I am saying (you just left a post on U M saying you don't "believe" in such-and-so . . . and now you are over here telling me I remind you of a "very troubled friend of one of your clients." It's almost "defamation of character."
I "get" that we have different world views - you will probably never understand or validate my point-of-view and vice versa - but I will not insult you by saying you remind me of someone who is "very disturbed." You do recognize that as an insult, right?
I mentioned Five on the Enneagram because your writings struck me as reminiscent of that particular point and it is easy enough to put into a search engine. I am not going to spoon feed you ten year's of my study of the Enneagram when you can look it up yourself, if you are so interested. It is not something that can be "explained" in a sentence or two.
What I consider destructive is highly personal and I certainly would not share it with you so you can attempt to rip me apart and tell me it really is not "destructive" (as you have alluded in your last sentences).
If you don't "believe" in anything I write about and think I am "very troubled," why on Earth are you following me around and seeking me out?
There really is no point to this.
I'm simply responding to various topics that interest me. You create a lot of threads with interesting topics, yes? I'm not following you.
You mentioned Enneagram, so I thought it would be better for you to explain what you meant. Didn't know this would be so hard.
I thought you clarifying what you found destructive might shed more light on what you meant in starting this thread. There seems to be some confusion here. Just trying to understand.
Yes, I am intimately familiar with a New Ager who resembles your view. It's a view that differs from my own. I invite your view. Why not be open to mine?
Continue to share and inquire. If my comments here have come off as a personal attack, this has not been my intention. Inbox me if you want clarification in such a non-public way.
My suggestions to help was not with the idea it was going to make things perfect or take away all the thoughts because though I wish it would in reality it probably won't. What it will do is give you a better way of facing them and coping. So for ex the journaling can help give you insight and also see patterns in the way you feel and respond. As for support groups even an anxiety one could help because it can help with coping skills. Many local hospitals offer support groups or meet up. If you put in trauma or anxiety support groups.
My suggestions to help was not with the idea it was going to make things perfect or take away all the thoughts because though I wish it would in reality it probably won't. What it will do is give you a better way of facing them and coping. So for ex the journaling can help give you insight and also see patterns in the way you feel and respond. As for support groups even an anxiety one could help because it can help with coping skills. Many local hospitals offer support groups or meet up. If you put in trauma or anxiety support groups.
Yes, these are good ideas.
The problem is unresolved traumas that get triggered. The challenge is that I never know what is going to trigger them (because events cannot be anticipated). When the traumas are not triggered, then everything is fine - and I don't want to spend my life talking about traumas that are not occurring . . . it makes it difficult to figure out but thank you for your suggestions.
The problem is unresolved traumas that get triggered. The challenge is that I never know what is going to trigger them (because events cannot be anticipated). When the traumas are not triggered, then everything is fine - and I don't want to spend my life talking about traumas that are not occurring . . . it makes it difficult to figure out but thank you for your suggestions.
I know what is going to trigger my unresolved trauma; I just don't know when it is going to happen. Well, maybe I do. I receive an emotional slap across the face nearly every week. Trauma is the gift that keeps on giving. I'm glad that you are fine between trauma triggers. Really, I am. I don't have that and I envy you.
I know what is going to trigger my unresolved trauma; I just don't know when it is going to happen. Well, maybe I do. I receive an emotional slap across the face nearly every week. Trauma is the gift that keeps on giving. I'm glad that you are fine between trauma triggers. Really, I am. I don't have that and I envy you.
I have done a lot of work, and most recently EFT to dissipate some of the traumas - and it has been very effective. I recommend it, highly, because it is easy and free.
If there is someone in your life who is disrespectful to you, I know how painful that can be. We do have choice whether or not to put up with emotional abuse. As a child, I did not have a choice and when the abusers never stop (which is my experience) then it becomes more difficult.
And if you have abandonment issues, it is also difficult. But ultimately, peace of mind and health are what I hope I continue to choose for myself.
Basically I have to keep reminding myself not to make mountains out of molehills..Sometimes I have to tell myself this over and over again until it starts to sink in a little more and I finally have some peace about a situation or problem I'm facing at the time...I'm going through major grief right now and trauma due to all the deaths in my family. Plus I have another (older) cat who is on the brink of dying soon..It's hard to "think straight" at times and have confidence when it comes to dealing with problems or obstacles or set-backs that pop-up right now...I have to keep telling myself over and over again not to make mountains out of molehills when a problem isn't really that "big!"
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Just trying to understand
