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I have been struggling with depression for years and have tried various ways to combat it. Some things have worked and others didn't. However, now it's come back harder than ever, to a point where I fantasize about killing myself. I'm working a temporary job and don't have insurance, nor can I afford expensive treatment because I may not have income in a few weeks.
Things I've tried:
- Zoloft: I was on this for a few months and it helped me not feel so suicidal, day to day tasks became bearable. However, I stopped treatment because it got expensive and affected my sleep/libido (and therefore my relationship at the time). After taking this, I felt fine for about a year before another wave of depression hit.
- Counseling: I find it very difficult to talk about my feelings to someone, especially to a stranger. However, I tried it to see if I would like it. I didn't. The guy gave me general advice that didn't help like "you're a self-sabotager and you need to stop." I am not interested in doing this again.
- Sam-e: I've been taking this for a few weeks and my mood feels only slightly better. Sometimes I feel ok, but then I get these horrible moments where I start sobbing and feel like giving up. I've also tried St. John's Wort and 5-htp but felt no different.
I'm thinking about coughing up money for Zoloft again but I'm worried about being able to find a doctor with no insurance. Are there any legit pharmacy websites where I can buy a bottle? Anyone have any other suggestions what to do?
Every county in the US should have at least one CMHC (Community Mental Health Center) that takes uninsured people and offers a sliding-scale fee. They take your income into consideration and set the fee so it's affordable. Not sure where you live, but I might have some resources bookmarked if you let me know your city or county.
I would NEVER recommend taking prescription meds without a doctor or APN monitoring you and prescribing. Also, Zoloft has been available in the generic form (sertraline) for years now, and it can be really cheap. You could see a prescriber at a CMHC for a low fee and then get the generic meds.
Please don't buy it online from a site that won't require a prescription written by a professional who has evaluated you! It's dangerous and unethical, and any company that will allow that will also have poor quality control as to what exactly is in the pills.
Last edited by Tracysherm; 01-16-2013 at 11:56 AM..
The LAST thing I would ever do would be to self-prescribe an antidepressant!
Those can take months to work and will do DIFFERENT things at different dosage levels in different people. Antidepressants are frequently prescribed for all sorts of things other than depression - but will be prescribed at different dosage levels than for depression.
Also some antidepressants can have some very nasty side effects. Can interact in a nasty way with other drugs including over-the-counter drugs (even cough medicine), alcohol, and illegal drugs.
The ONLY way I would take an antidepressant would be to tell the prescribing physician and pharmacist ALL the other drugs I take (Rx, OTC, Alcohol, illegal) and to be monitored by that physician on an ongoing basis. Like once a week at first.
With that said, many cities have "free clinics" for medical treatment. And as said, call your county health department and they should have a free or very low cost mental health department. That would include access to someone who could prescribe antidepressants for you. Some drugs are available for free or low cost via special programs - sometimes from the manufacturer of the drug. So tell them you can't afford it.
As for counseling, that can be just like discussing this question with me and other people on forums like this. Or discussing things with friends. With that said, I would suggest you do try counseling again. And the first thing you should discuss is why you did not like your previous counseling and don't want to do it again.
All topics are open for discussion in counseling including why you don't like counselors! And if you don't like the new counselor, just say "I don't like you!".
Same with my advice here. Perfectly fine with me if you say you don't care for my advice and will get your advice elsewhere!
Anyway if you can possibly swing it, do have the antidepressant prescribed by a physician and do be monitored while on that medication. Then they can adjust it or switch to something else as needed.
While psychotropic medication has its place, I am a huge believer in the power of bibliotherapy, reading self help books, and "forcing" yourself to do things. I force myself to do positivfe things. I Hate all exercise. But, it does help you with depression. Also, getting a mood light can make a huge difference.
There is a anti-seizure medication that works as a mood stabilizer called Lamictal that you should research. It is amazing!
TracySam had a great suggestion...contact you local community mental health center.
Good luck and please find a support group for the depression. We all feel hopeless at times but the extent that you feel it is dangerous. Be patient while finding help. Jasper12 mentioned exercise and books (bible?) When I lived in WI I would go to a tanning booth once a week in the winter and although it is bad for skin it did help my mood (I covered my face).
While psychotropic medication has its place, I am a huge believer in the power of bibliotherapy, reading self help books, and "forcing" yourself to do things. I force myself to do positivfe things. I Hate all exercise. But, it does help you with depression. Also, getting a mood light can make a huge difference.
I think one point in being in a bad depression is that it shouldn't be so *hard* to activate yourself to do simple things like take a walk, wash the dishes. Of course you can force yourself to do anything but it shouldn't be such a forceful thing, especially when it doesn't change the depression. If you think a brisk walk will help ease depression, I'd say you have had the good fortunte to be unfamiliar with severe depression.
At my worst, in my 20s, I would force myself to run a mile or two and then sleep for a couple of days. No cure there.
Regarding medications, someone mentioned Lamictal after the Zoloft post. There are many anti-depressants, and many "mood stabilizers," (often anti-convulsants that seem to have mood stabilizing effects). It doesn't sound like OP doesn't accept the idea of medications, but doesn't know how to access the system of subsidized help. The right med or combination can be a lifesaver, and at very least, can bring life back to a person debilitated by depression.
Sometimes, just taking iron pills, vitamins, eating right, going to bed and getting up at consistent hours and just bathing can improve your mood. Turn off the cable. Shut off the Internet. When I was seriously depressed I spent more time just aimlessly cruising the Internet for hours, and randomly watching tv. Make a schedule and get out of the house.
Sometimes, just taking iron pills, vitamins, eating right, going to bed and getting up at consistent hours and just bathing can improve your mood. Turn off the cable. Shut off the Internet. When I was seriously depressed I spent more time just aimlessly cruising the Internet for hours, and randomly watching tv. Make a schedule and get out of the house.
This is the best advice for treating depression. I'm against antidepressants as I have a bipolar mother who has been hooked on three antidepressants for over 20 years, and all those meds have done is make her even more unstable and difficult to interact and communicate with. Oh, and she's still bipolar.
I'm really struggling with situational depression right now and recently had some blood lab work that showed my thyroid was low, and I'm low on Vitamin D. Also, my insomnia is due my online activity late at night and irregular sleep schedule. Once I get all of these factors aligned, and get outside and active, I'm sure my depression will lift. I suggest the same for you OP, esp. since you're on a budget. Good luck to you.
I have been struggling with depression for years and have tried various ways to combat it. Some things have worked and others didn't. However, now it's come back harder than ever, to a point where I fantasize about killing myself. I'm working a temporary job and don't have insurance, nor can I afford expensive treatment because I may not have income in a few weeks.
Things I've tried:
- Zoloft: I was on this for a few months and it helped me not feel so suicidal, day to day tasks became bearable. However, I stopped treatment because it got expensive and affected my sleep/libido (and therefore my relationship at the time). After taking this, I felt fine for about a year before another wave of depression hit.
- Counseling: I find it very difficult to talk about my feelings to someone, especially to a stranger. However, I tried it to see if I would like it. I didn't. The guy gave me general advice that didn't help like "you're a self-sabotager and you need to stop." I am not interested in doing this again.
- Sam-e: I've been taking this for a few weeks and my mood feels only slightly better. Sometimes I feel ok, but then I get these horrible moments where I start sobbing and feel like giving up. I've also tried St. John's Wort and 5-htp but felt no different.
I'm thinking about coughing up money for Zoloft again but I'm worried about being able to find a doctor with no insurance. Are there any legit pharmacy websites where I can buy a bottle? Anyone have any other suggestions what to do?
What concerns me is that you say you are having thoughts of suicide.
That's a big warning flag and means you need to see a doctor. I would no more ignore that symptom than I would chest pain.
Call the doctor who prescribed the Zoloft. He will either work out the finances with you or refer you to someone else who can see you.
Please call as soon as you see this, if you have not already done so.
If you cannot get someone to see you and you are indeed having thoughts of suicide, please go to the emergency room.
I have been struggling with depression for years and have tried various ways to combat it. Some things have worked and others didn't. However, now it's come back harder than ever, to a point where I fantasize about killing myself. I'm working a temporary job and don't have insurance, nor can I afford expensive treatment because I may not have income in a few weeks.
Things I've tried:
- Zoloft: I was on this for a few months and it helped me not feel so suicidal. After taking this, I felt fine for about a year before another wave of depression hit.
- Counseling: The guy gave me general advice that didn't help like "you're a self-sabotager and you need to stop." I am not interested in doing this again.
- Sam-e: Sometimes I feel ok, but then I get these horrible moments where I start sobbing and feel like giving up.
I'm thinking about coughing up money for Zoloft again but I'm worried about being able to find a doctor with no insurance. Are there any legit pharmacy websites where I can buy a bottle? Anyone have any other suggestions what to do?
I know in the USA, many people can get nearly free medical care paid for by Feds & State, also disability pay, Social Security at any age for anyone who ever had a job, food stamps, govt subsidized apartment if needed. Major depression does qualify as a disability.
Online pharmacies may be in countries with little if any regulations. Or maybe laws say they can't sell to people in their own country, or to anyone, but just haven't been caught. Contaminants or even getting the wrong drug or getting nothing might all be possibilities. I had an e-mail from a place called Canadian Pharmacy, but they are in China!
Recently, medical researchers were looking over the research done about depression. They learned that many of the pills that were developed for depression were based on a theory (never proven) that depression was caused by a chemical imbalance. So they came up with their own theory that depression may be caused by an undiagnosed physical problem.
One of the best treatments for depression, except for it generally being illegal & expensive, is cannabis. Doctors knew this in the 1800s. Of those who say they use it for medical reasons, 26% say they use it to treat depression. About 20 states have medical programs. Who qualifies to use, to sell, or grow, possession & growing limits, will vary greatly. Dispensary prices can be high, & they can be raided by Feds who say Federal law trumps state law. Some states say patients or designated caregivers can grow a few plants, probably cheaper that way. Colorado & Washington voted to legalize.
I'm on old pills that were thought safe enough years ago (Elavil & Klonopin generics). Now they know reducing dose can cause insanity & quitting abruptly can be fatal! They don't help much anymore, except for getting a few hours of low quality sleep. I suspect I have sleep apnea, need to find out soon.
Often, people who have depression are too worn out to do everything they need to do to try to help themselves, but they can't just snap out of it. Wish you all the best.
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