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Old 07-03-2013, 11:49 AM
 
Location: God's Country
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Some follow in the footsteps of the alcoholic parent(s) and become alcoholics themselves; others are repulsed by the thought of alcohol, apparently because of their parent'(s)' behavior. There's no in-between category, i.e., responsible drinkers. Anyway, that has been my observed experience.

Of those who are repulsed, some of these go through the motions to appease their peers. One guy always dropped his can of beer or drink "accidentally" before taking a sip. Another would take the smallest of nips, pretend to be loaded, and pour the rest of the half-pint on his head. He'd rather have his head sloshed with booze than drink it. Have to laugh when thinking of these shenanigans; but in the end, they have the last laugh.
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Old 07-03-2013, 01:22 PM
 
Location: Duluth, Minnesota, USA
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I was born to a father who suffered from alcoholism, probably caused or exacerbated by an extremely traumatic event in his adolescence. Some of my earliest memories are of him being in treatment. After he had treatment he would mostly be sober but occasionally go on a drinking binge, usually with a DWI or crashed car (and a DWI!) as a consequence. Because of this, both my brother and I are repulsed by the mere smell of alcohol. I attended college when social networking was just getting popular, and often drunkenness was celebrated in pictures and status updates. I despised this.

My brother was not scared away, though, from smoking weed and taking (or grinding up and smoking) pills.

My sister, who is 7 years younger than me, didn't see much of this, or does not remember. As a result, she partied throughout her 10th grade year, until one unfortunate event occurred stemming from her alcohol use the summer following. As a result, she is sober and sometimes tweets disdaining those her age who post about getting drunk every night or what such.
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Old 07-03-2013, 02:51 PM
 
Location: NoVa
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My mother and much of her family suffered from alcoholism. As an adult it is hard to watch. (not my mom, she has passed) I see my brother and sister as alcoholics, and their children as well. My cousins are always posting this and that on fb about drinking and it is just awful.

They all seem quite consumed.

I am the one who never drank, until I was 37. I am 39 now. I was living near my sister for a little while and I started drinking with her. Really I didn't like it and I don't need it, so anymore, I don't do it.

I guess the last time I had a girly froo froo drink was 4-5 months ago when we were at dinner with friends.
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Old 07-03-2013, 05:32 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Calvert Hall '62 View Post
Some follow in the footsteps of the alcoholic parent(s) and become alcoholics themselves; others are repulsed by the thought of alcohol, apparently because of their parent'(s)' behavior. There's no in-between category, i.e., responsible drinkers. Anyway, that has been my observed experience.

Of those who are repulsed, some of these go through the motions to appease their peers.
Very interesting comment, but also mind-boggling. If I had peers who were so sick and insecure that they pressured me to drink when they knew I didn't want to, I would drop them all and find new peers. There is something about alcohol use in some people that just defies all rationality and defies all understanding. Note I am not talking about alcohol use per se - I use alcohol myself. I am talking about the attitude that holds drinking as the be-all and end-all of existence.

If I am serving wine with dinner and someone says "No thanks", then that is the end of the matter, period. There is no pressure, no begging, no cajoling, no denigrating. The preferences of others are simply respected. What could be more normal? Although I have no reason to disbelieve what you wrote above, it still just blows my mind.
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Old 07-03-2013, 05:39 PM
 
Location: Stephenville, Texas
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post
Very interesting comment, but also mind-boggling. If I had peers who were so sick and insecure that they pressured me to drink when they knew I didn't want to, I would drop them all and find new peers. There is something about alcohol use in some people that just defies all rationality and defies all understanding. Note I am not talking about alcohol use per se - I use alcohol myself. I am talking about the attitude that holds drinking as the be-all and end-all of existence.

If I am serving wine with dinner and someone says "No thanks", then that is the end of the matter, period. There is no pressure, no begging, no cajoling, no denigrating. The preferences of others are simply respected. What could be more normal? Although I have no reason to disbelieve what you wrote above, it still just blows my mind.
I wish everyone had your attitude, Escort Rider. I've been reprimanded (in front of others) more than once for not drinking when everyone else has a drink. I don't mind them drinking if they wish, but it seems a bit rude to criticize someone just because they don't drink. (And there can be several reasons someone chooses not to drink.)
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Old 07-03-2013, 08:00 PM
 
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Being ACA myself, I despise when people pressure others to have a drink. I think other ACAs are the same way.
People that do that have a drinking problem themselves I suspect. I can usually spot an alcoholic a mile away.
I have 3 siblings, all 3 girls are social drinkers. Brother though, as all the men in our family, is recovered/now sober like our father. It is definitely genetic.
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Old 07-04-2013, 02:40 AM
 
Location: Metro Detroit, Michigan
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My grandfather was a very heavy drinker in his day, or so I am told. From what I understand, this resulted in a very difficult upbringing for my mother. He would come home after drinking and he and my grandmother would argue well into the night. In fact, they both drank quite a bit, but my mother claims my grandmother drank due to my grandfather's drinking.

At any rate, growing up in this kind of environment caused my mother to fear alcoholism. She did not touch the stuff for years. Later in life though, she learned that alcohol can be something of an ally in moderation. She enjoys her wine, and it helps her to relax, as she is a very uptight and high strung "worrying" type.

My parents were not drinking much at all. Yes, this is an ideal environment to grow up in, and more children should have that blessing. Unfortunately for me, I never really learned much about drinking until my teens. I also learned about it from all the wrong people in all the wrong places. When speaking of alcoholism as a disease, I do believe there are some genetic traits that influence how we drink, and how much we drink. On my mother's side, there are a fair number of heavy drinkers, and an assortment of recovering alcoholics as well as functional alcoholics.

I have found myself drinking heavy at various stages of my life, but have since learned to control those desires to overindulge. Attempting to mitigate stress with alcohol appears attractive at first, until you get a first hand understanding of how that can go wrong, and what that can lead to. Thankfully, I am a quick learner, and rather strong willed.
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Old 07-04-2013, 04:58 AM
 
Location: God's Country
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[quote=Escort Rider;30318411]Very interesting comment, but also mind-boggling. If I had peers who were so sick and insecure that they pressured me to drink when they knew I didn't want to, I would drop them all and find new peers. /quote]

When you were a teenager? Maybe things have changed, but when I was coming up in the 50s and early 60s, most kids wanted to be accepted by the other kids, and would abandon their values and upbringing in a heartbeat just to be one of the gang. Kids got the label of "rebellious" but this attitude was directed toward their parents and society, certainly not toward their "cool" friends.
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Old 07-04-2013, 10:30 AM
 
5,697 posts, read 5,640,609 times
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there is a great 12 step group for adult children of alcoholics
I am one and I am a recovering alcoholic as well
if you Google Adult children of alcoholics
you will find a surprising personality listed
check it out
recovery is available
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Old 07-04-2013, 11:40 AM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,017 posts, read 18,577,908 times
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[quote=Calvert Hall '62;30324071]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post
Very interesting comment, but also mind-boggling. If I had peers who were so sick and insecure that they pressured me to drink when they knew I didn't want to, I would drop them all and find new peers. /quote]

When you were a teenager? Maybe things have changed, but when I was coming up in the 50s and early 60s, most kids wanted to be accepted by the other kids, and would abandon their values and upbringing in a heartbeat just to be one of the gang. Kids got the label of "rebellious" but this attitude was directed toward their parents and society, certainly not toward their "cool" friends.
You have a good point, and indeed, my post was written from an adult perspective. Sometimes it's surprising how many of us managed to survive the turmoil and idiocy of adolesence in relatively good shape. In my case, I did not happen to travel in a drinking crowd, but that was more by luck and circumstances than by any teenage wisdom on my part.
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