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My Son gets off his Medication and is constantly fighting we figure 15 demons, one time got hold of a Jug of Gas and wanted to burn the demons out. From what I understand he will take his legal medication, sell it and buy illegal medication. What's interesting he was alone by $3K of my pain medication never looked at it. I know he will also drink with medication.
He is currently on probation, found out most the Law Enforcement that knows him don't want anything to do with him.
He has stayed with his Mom, she found she couldn't handle him. He is now with his Brother, I'm not sure how he is treated there. From what I understand his Brother gets his check, makes him sleep outside, don't feed him regular and I have heard my Grandson beats him.
He took off and Sheriff several counties away called me. Said they had him but found later they turned him lose. I call his Brother to go find him. His Brother told me ok no problem. But found much later his Brother asked my wife if I was sure I wanted to go hunting for him? My wife thought really this was a stupid question. Then after we get on the road find his wife is mad because we are making this trip.
Well we find my Son just by pure Prayer. He was almost starved, had just been hauled out of one county because he scared them, so they take him just out of the county and dump him. Which is where we found him sleeping under a tree.
What me and my wife are thinking we have plenty of room, even an apartment in another building. Keep someone with him the bulk of the time. Give him his medication each day make sure he takes it. Make sure he is, clean, fed and warm. And make sure he sees his PO. We both don't work we are retired so we can take the time.
It's a shame that his brother treated him so badly---taking his money, making him sleep outside and starved him. It sounds like he might be addicted to drugs in addition to whatever mental illness he has. His being skinny could be due to drug addiction depending on the drug. It's possible his daemons are all drug related (since I don't know his mental health history and when his drug use started). Do you think it's possible to get him to go into a duel diagnosis treatment center to overcome his possible addiction and get his mental health stabilized? After that bring him to the apartment with strict boundaries and expectations?
If he won't go to treatment and you still want to help him, I'd definitely put him in the apartment, NOT in the same building with you. You're going to have to be strong and have solid boundaries, make it clear what you expect (that he takes his meds when you give them to him, etc.) and he agrees ahead of time to your expectations. If he's not violent with you, I can understand your not wanting to turn your back and leave him homeless. If he has ever been violent with you, I wouldn't do it.
How did he respond to you when you found him sleeping under a tree?
Personally I'd change my will and not leave a penny to the brother who took his money and made him sleep outside. If he wasn't going to provide him with appropriate quarters, he had no business taking all of his money. It's against the law. My son knew a girl whose parents took the entire social security check for one of her grandparents living in their home (in a room, not outside) and the grandparents from the other side of the marriage took them to court on his behalf because it was stealing and taking advantage of him. Now he is in a retirement home and has his own money.
Does your part of the country have group homes for people who are mentally ill or halfway houses for people recovering from addiction?
What me and my wife are thinking we have plenty of room, even an apartment in another building. Keep someone with him the bulk of the time. Give him his medication each day make sure he takes it. Make sure he is, clean, fed and warm. And make sure he sees his PO. We both don't work we are retired so we can take the time.
It's a shame that his brother treated him so badly---taking his money, making him sleep outside and starved him. It sounds like he might be addicted to drugs in addition to whatever mental illness he has. His being skinny could be due to drug addiction depending on the drug. It's possible his daemons are all drug related (since I don't know his mental health history and when his drug use started). Do you think it's possible to get him to go into a duel diagnosis treatment center to overcome his possible addiction and get his mental health stabilized? After that bring him to the apartment with strict boundaries and expectations?
If he won't go to treatment and you still want to help him, I'd definitely put him in the apartment, NOT in the same building with you. You're going to have to be strong and have solid boundaries, make it clear what you expect (that he takes his meds when you give them to him, etc.) and he agrees ahead of time to your expectations. If he's not violent with you, I can understand your not wanting to turn your back and leave him homeless. If he has ever been violent with you, I wouldn't do it.
How did he respond to you when you found him sleeping under a tree?
Personally I'd change my will and not leave a penny to the brother who took his money and made him sleep outside. If he wasn't going to provide him with appropriate quarters, he had no business taking all of his money. It's against the law. My son knew a girl whose parents took the entire social security check for one of her grandparents living in their home (in a room, not outside) and the grandparents from the other side of the marriage took them to court on his behalf because it was stealing and taking advantage of him. Now he is in a retirement home and has his own money.
Does your part of the country have group homes for people who are mentally ill or halfway houses for people recovering from addiction?
Ok only time he was violent with me he was in trouble with the Law his Mom sent him to me over 20 years ago. Everything was going good, he asked me about training him to shoot a pistol, I wouldn't. Couple days later me and my wife went out. Later we get a call my pistol was at the Sheriff Office and they was looking for my Son. Seems he had got my pistol going to shoot another kid. Another kid got the pistol. We spent 3 days looking for my Son. Found him, the Law released him to us until he could be transported to the county he was on probation from. Get him to our place, he takes off, find him, he was drugged up and attacked me. Sheriff came and cuffed him waiting on his Mom to come get him. She gets there asked if they could take the cuffs off? Like we all told her NO!
When I found him the other day he was very, very glad to see me.
The only drugs I have actually seen him do is Marijuana , Meth and Jimsonweed. I'm sure there is many other.
I have always thought his problems started when I divorced his Mom. She was on welfare and the state would pay to have the kids put in Mental Health Hospital, if she wanted to get away for a few days she would take the kids there and have the state take care of them. I know it sounds wrong but she would never let me have contact with our kids. My Child Support was paid, as matter fact over paid, nothing wrong with me just she hated me and if I would try to see the Boys she would have me locked up. It just got to be too much. And after 15 years I just by chance found where they were.
Two Sons have Mental Issues. One has nothing to do with me because of what his Mom has told him about me all untruths. The one that don't have Mental Issues has other problems.
The only drugs I have actually seen him do is Marijuana , Meth and Jimsonweed. I'm sure there is many other.
Well, that right there is a HUGE problem if you ONLY think that is what he is doing. And you refer to it as "ONLY". Good Lord.
If you take him in be prepared for him to do the EXACT SAME THINGS HE HAS BEEN DOING. There probably is a combo of problems... your son no doubt has a psych issue but what probably causes the most problem is his Personality Disorder, Behavior problems. He has learned to intimdate and obviously has no problem with consequences, particularly if he has been doing this for years, he probably never had consistent boundaries set as he was growing up and never had consistency.
I see people like this all the time and no matter who it is, family or stranger, they have absolutely NO REGARD for anyone.
Their path is totally self destructive and it will probably cause serious problems with your marriage if he moves in and he stays for any length of time.
I've known some men who just can't manage their own lives, but can do well if they live in an environment with a LOT of supervision and structure - someone else managing their finances, handing them their meds (which are kept locked up), telling them what they will be doing each day - when dinner is, etc. Sometimes even when to shave and take a shower.
One guy I knew could not live outside of jail. But when he returned to jail, he became a model prisoner and was allowed to go on work crews - he liked that strict supervision and structure!
So try treating him like a teenager who has some freedom, but must follow certain house rules - must be home at a certain time each evening, etc. Play it by ear and add more rules / supervision / structure if necessary, or relax the rules a bit if not needed.
And don't be afraid to take him to the nearest homeless shelter if he messes up - might tell him in advance that will happen if he does not follow your rules.
Honestly, I don't know what the answer is to this sort of thing. I read some of OP's posts in other forums regarding his son (and OP's two other sons who have problems, and the two children the son being discussed has -both also in jail and having mental issues) ....
It sounds like the OP's son is very frightening to people (kicked out of the homeless shelter because he was too scary for the staff). The gasoline thing - yikes, it hardly seems right to move someone like that into an apt building with other people.
And I'm sorry but I don't get where the OP was when his sons were being dumped at the County Hospital? Or why if it was so dangerous to teach the son how to shoot why he had access to the gun? Or why he had access to the OP's 3k of pain meds?
OP - you say you have seen your son do meth, weed, and jimsonweed (and suspect him of doing many other drugs) - what did you do when you saw him do drugs?
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