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im in my 20's and i have tons of family issues, i wish i never had it, i was born with it. both of my parents side have massive family problems.
but, as a person gets older and see people around them pass away, and some get really sick and suffer, do you just live life more simpler and not think of BS? I cant live without a day without thinking about my family problems, and my close friend just tells me to be happy since im not in a hospital bed suffering, and just move on with life.
You're in that "rock and a hard place" phase. You want to help, if for no other reason than to not hear the constant drama. It brings you down. You have a big heart.
However, feeling bad cannot cure these people. Take a bit of time to truly analyze these situations. Do they bring it on themselves? Are there suggestions that they would even listen to? Can you help out in any way? Have you tried previously, and things just stay the same? Once you come to honest conclusions about these situations, you can help or walk away, and that sounds cold, but sometimes it is the only way to keep your sanity.
I wish you well.
I'm 51. I had a lot of the same issues you had when I was younger. A massively dysfunctional family where no one could be in the same room without it being a war or a drama scene. In order to protect myself and my sanity, I had to leave home when I was VERY young.
As I've gotten older, I've come to the realization that I don't give a sh*t about any of them. You have to live YOUR life. If their insanity is intruding into your life and making YOU feel horrible, then stay away from them! Just because you're family doesn't mean you have to like them, love them, or be around them.
Family is not always about the loving get-togethers and the "I'll be there for you no matter what" Sometimes family is an insane asylum that you just have to escape in order to retain your own peace of mind, sanity, and physical health (because all the stress from them WILL destroy your health!)
me too im 65 and it hasnt stopped. but taking care of your parents is not a "problem" it anoints you and strengthens you and makes you 12 feet tall. you will be blessed down the road my friend, wait and see. having come out of a pit and risen to what most people envy, i can tell you, take care of your parents, the bible speaks clearly on this. you will become like samson but escape his sad end.
I'm 51. I had a lot of the same issues you had when I was younger. A massively dysfunctional family where no one could be in the same room without it being a war or a drama scene. In order to protect myself and my sanity, I had to leave home when I was VERY young.
As I've gotten older, I've come to the realization that I don't give a sh*t about any of them. You have to live YOUR life. If their insanity is intruding into your life and making YOU feel horrible, then stay away from them! Just because you're family doesn't mean you have to like them, love them, or be around them.
Family is not always about the loving get-togethers and the "I'll be there for you no matter what" Sometimes family is an insane asylum that you just have to escape in order to retain your own peace of mind, sanity, and physical health (because all the stress from them WILL destroy your health!)
sigh.. sounds like good advice. my problems were mental abuse, and physical abuse to the head as a kid. I wish i can think straight and focus but i cant. its hard for me to hold down a job. but i do hope that i can get married and start a family and just open a new world, do my best, and escape the past. Im loosing hair thinking about BS and i cant even be happy for 1 day in my life. sometimes my head feels like its about to blow up because of my family, and one of them yelled so much garbage to me while pointing her finger in my face, i cant stop thinking about it, even when i close my eyes i still re live it.
me too im 65 and it hasnt stopped. but taking care of your parents is not a "problem" it anoints you and strengthens you and makes you 12 feet tall. you will be blessed down the road my friend, wait and see. having come out of a pit and risen to what most people envy, i can tell you, take care of your parents, the bible speaks clearly on this. you will become like samson but escape his sad end.
The OP never even mentioned "taking care of his parents" so what are you talking about??? Your response doesn't even remotely answer the OPs question.
sigh.. sounds like good advice. my problems were mental abuse, and physical abuse to the head as a kid. I wish i can think straight and focus but i cant. its hard for me to hold down a job. but i do hope that i can get married and start a family and just open a new world, do my best, and escape the past. Im loosing hair thinking about BS and i cant even be happy for 1 day in my life. sometimes my head feels like its about to blow up because of my family, and one of them yelled so much garbage to me while pointing her finger in my face, i cant stop thinking about it, even when i close my eyes i still re live it.
I can understand and I'm much older. My advice, you are young and have a future ahead of you.
I should have escaped my family a long time ago....no reason to take abuse, feel guilt or deal with
dysfunction. There is nothing wrong with what I call a divorce from them. Is it possible for you to
just move away? btw, I did and I'm glad I did because if my children were around them they wouldn't
be the successful and healthy adults that they are now.
I'm 51. I had a lot of the same issues you had when I was younger. A massively dysfunctional family where no one could be in the same room without it being a war or a drama scene. In order to protect myself and my sanity, I had to leave home when I was VERY young.
As I've gotten older, I've come to the realization that I don't give a sh*t about any of them. You have to live YOUR life. If their insanity is intruding into your life and making YOU feel horrible, then stay away from them! Just because you're family doesn't mean you have to like them, love them, or be around them.
Family is not always about the loving get-togethers and the "I'll be there for you no matter what" Sometimes family is an insane asylum that you just have to escape in order to retain your own peace of mind, sanity, and physical health (because all the stress from them WILL destroy your health!)
I'm 57 and I couldn't have said it any better. Took the words right out of my mouth.
I too had to move far away from my family, and over time had less and less to do with them, until I don't have anything to do with them at all anymore. That's what I needed to do for my own sanity and health.
I think when you become older you're less likely to put up with any bulls**t from others. You realize it's a waste of your time, and you've only got one life, so you gotta make the best of that and be as happy as you can at all times. I won't tolerate any abuse from family (like I used to)..I've realized it's not good for me..I'm into living for me and my own now..getting the most joy I can from life, and spending it with people who genuinely care and appreciate me for who I am.
I've quit trying to be what others want, or expect me to be....and I'm very much enjoying my life, for as long as I have it.
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