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OP, I strongly suggest you have a talk with a guidance councilor at the community college you wish to attend. No, its not easy out there but that is the first decent step to getting ahead, the military notwithstanding (though the military does offer some good programs too and I know several who got trained or went to college after under their programs).
That said, if you do have much anxiety, especially about general life events or the future, have a talk with someone, in person, such as a councilor (maybe even at school, if offered)...
Firstly, do you suffer from depression? Or anxiety? If you do them moving to another state could be risky. You do need to know where you are at. I can see why you would not know what you want to do in life. How could you? Are you an Aspie perhaps? (You can do a few online tests to get some idea. My tests show me to be borderline but I now know I am Aspie. I was more so when I was young).
It sounds to me that you need a support system and that you don't have that in the home. Do you know why you are terrified of driving? Have you asked your Dad to send you for a skills/interest/vocational guidance assessment? Would he even agree to it? There is help for you out there if you can find it and you are looking but you may have to search offline too.
Get a copy of your transcript from your High School, and take it to a councellor at the community college. There is financial aid, and if the councellor feels your work in high school is good enough for community college they will hook you up. If you get in, sign up for classes and go home and tell your mom that you enrolled when your father is not around.
Next time the subject comes up tell Dad that he's clueless and you are enrolled already. You didnt need his help, money, or opinion afterall.
Sometimes fathers consider it a rite of passage for their sons to fist fight them when entering manhood. Hopefully, showing you have already manned up by taking some control of your situation will be enough to appease this need.
It's already April. If you are going to college in the fall semester you should have applied already! Please take the advice above and get an appointment with an admissions counselor at whatever community college is best suited to your needs. If your parents refuse to fill out any financial aid applications, then you can be legally emancipated from them and be eligible for certain kinds of student aid other people aren't eligible for. You will have to work AND take classes AND continue to see your therapist and take your meds if you have any. No more dreaming of living in a city and getting a girlfriend who doesn't mind that you can't drive. It's time for you to take control of your life — first things first. Which is ENROLLING.
If the things you say are true, you have been dealt a tough hand. You obviously have anxiety disorder. Your father was inappropriate to demand that you join the military route because you are clearly unsuited. The military is not therapy. But it's imperative that you stop obsessing about your problems and take the steps necessary to improve your life.
It can be done. I had a roommate in college who walked away from an abusive home life when we were still seniors in high school. She put herself through an excellent undergraduate program in biology working the entire time as a maid in a hotel and having roommates to share living expenses. Then she got a job as a lab assistant at one of the most respected universities in TEXAS and put herself through a master's program there. Her parents never put out a dime. But she had to apply herself all year, every year. She didn't have time for dating, histrionics, or hanging out on internet chats. But she now has a great adult life and earned the respect of her entire family, even the alcoholic father and mean step-mother who made her life miserable.
There is good, professional help and financial assistance out there for people in your position. But you have to find it. Get an admissions counselor first. Go to this gathering on May 2: GenTX.org
There are colleges in Texas one can attend for less than $20,000 per year, including room and board, books and supplies, and fees beyond tuition. And there are government programs to help defer those costs if you seek help from people in the know. College For All Texans: College Costs
OP, the first thing you have to do is to get off the internet. You are posting the same question multiple times in multiple forums, You are getting the same responses, which is to go seek help.
Instead of seeking help you're stuck in a rut and going around and around in the same circle, accomplishing nothing.
Go get a piece of paper. Sit down with it and a write on it - " I must move forward" . You need to get from point A which is where you are at to point B , which is here your anxieties get under control. You do that be seeking help and seeing a psychiatrist or good therapist - your choice. it will take a time, but every day in treatment will bring you closer to point B.
Then you write down the ways you can move forward. The first step is to tell your parents your problems, just as you have described to the whole world on the internet. The second step is to make an appointment with a the appropriate care giver. The third step is go there, the forth step is to keep going and so on.
Every time you want to sit down and get onto city data and post the same question in various ways all over the place, tell yourself - this is ridiculous, it is not moving me forward. Keep telling yourself you need to do the things to help yourself. No excuses, no circular thinking. You have to move forward. No one can help you but yourself. So start helping yourself.
Every day look at your piece of paper. Check off the items on your list as you complete each one. If at the end of this week, you have a list and have done nothing on it, slap yourself silly ( figuratively of course) and remind yourself that you have to want to get better. You have to move forward to get better. Good luck
I agree this guy does the same thing all over the place
I am a recovering alcoholic and addict also came out of co dependency, incest and domestic violence I was amazed at how I had lived my life as a victim!
I got sober then also went into some therapy to deal with childhood stuff
today I am no longer a victim I no longer live in my past, nor do I fall prey to my own demons
life is not fair, but recovery shows me solutions!!! I can either live in the fear or face facts
some people, most people do not want to do the work on themselves they want to stay stuck
choice it really boils down to that
every day is not sunny but I quit falling in the hole on the same side walk I went down a different street~~
Firstly, do you suffer from depression? Or anxiety? If you do them moving to another state could be risky. You do need to know where you are at. I can see why you would not know what you want to do in life. How could you? Are you an Aspie perhaps? (You can do a few online tests to get some idea. My tests show me to be borderline but I now know I am Aspie. I was more so when I was young).
It sounds to me that you need a support system and that you don't have that in the home. Do you know why you are terrified of driving? Have you asked your Dad to send you for a skills/interest/vocational guidance assessment? Would he even agree to it? There is help for you out there if you can find it and you are looking but you may have to search offline too.
All the best to you
303Guy
Are you kidding me?
Did I just read this?
This kid has skated by in life and his parents are sick and tired of it and you're online trying to diagnose him as an "Aspie"?
Asperger's is a non-diagnosis. It's been removed from the DSM5. And for good reason. Anyone who has social issues because they've been coddled their whole life is now diagnosed as an "Aspie" to alleviate their parents guilt over doing a crappy job of socializing their kid and teaching them coping skills.
And you? You state: "My tests show me to be borderline but I now know I am Aspie. I was more so when I was young"
Whaaat? Did your whole disorder just... alleviate itself? Did you take a pill that helped your neural synapses start working properly? Did you spend years in cognitive therapy? Or could it be... you developed social skills and learned coping skills when your parents told you "No more bumming" and therefore maybe you never had any medical issues to begin with?
But now you feel obligated to convince this kid he's an "Aspie" instead of telling him to grow up, man up, make a decision and move on?
A socially inept person who sits at home for 18 years and refuses to be held accountable for his own issues is pretty stigmatizing on its own. Don't ya think? Calling it a "syndrome" is like calling obesity a disease.
If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're both trolls and call it a day.
You're 18. Get a job and move out of home. Go to college when you can afford to pay for it yourself. It's really quite simple. Quit being a self absorbed little snot.
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