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This is something I've never understood. Committing suicide because you failed to achieve good marks, is in my mind a major act of failure. It doesn't make any sense. It seems totally contrary to the reason for doing it. You failed in school, so now you want to fail in life?
Truly if a person wants to "succeed" then they would take the time to define what success means: the definition is different from one person to the next.
Here where I live, every month there's a person who deliberately steps in front of the Caltrain in order to end their life. Some of these are Palo Alto high school kids who feel like they are failing to achieve the perfect grades they want in school. I flat out don't understand it. Unless you're terminally ill and in a lot of pain, I don't see the reason for it.
I would never kill myself, not because of me, but because of my mother and brother. I wouldn't know what their life would be like after I died.
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Originally Posted by Phosphorus
Especially when your whole worth depends on how good you are at university. If you take it away, there's nothing left.
There are a number of strategies you can employ to deal with this situation. All of these options are dependent upon the unique policies of your institution, but are somewhat universal. You can withdraw from the courses that you are doing poorly in and possibly avoid getting a failing grade, you can meet with your instructors/advisor and negotiate an incomplete until you are in a position to turn in assignments if you can't complete the work before the end of the term. Lastly, most universities will allow you take some type of leave of absence in the middle of the semester if you are having medical problems or issues with depression. If you have already met with a counselor at your school and feel like things are overwhelming and need some time to work on yourself--I'd suggest exploring that route.
Don't just walk away from this though. If you take some proactive steps now you can make things a lot easier when you are ready to pick up where you left off. A LOT of students face depression, take a leave or negotiate an accommodation, and end up quite successful. It might be that you need to leave the university and so something else entirely.
Just imagine having to work multiple minimum wage jobs until you die. This may very well happen if you don't finish college.
Or you could find a nice trade that doesn't require college, but instead works through training and apprenticeships. Then you find a position in that field by taking an entry level position and after a few years you journey out and work hard at a good paying ($40/hr journey level) job, get married, buy a home, live a nice life, save at least 5% of your income every month and retire happy.
Contrary to what people will tell you, it is not necessary to have a university education to make a decent wage and live a great life. Many jobs in the trades, like electrical, welding, numerous medical technical jobs, plumbing, construction, etc, pay FAR MORE than minimum wage after just a few years in the field.
Even if you flunk a class, you can retake it next semester, right? You can get a tutor if you need it. You can change majors if this major is just not for you. It's really not the end of the world, UNLESS you make it the end of your world. Don't do anything this shockingly stupid.
p.s. I know you don't believe this is possible, but I know many people earning income in the top 10% of this country who did not finish college. I'm one of them (or I was until I retired a couple years ago), so are some of the most successful people in the world today.
Last edited by TheShadow; 02-05-2014 at 02:16 PM..
If you are this unhappy over failing a college course, then getting a high-paying job isn't going to make you happy either. There is something incredibly wrong with your life priorities and you need to find something else to fill that hole inside of you.
Think about it, even if you did pass this particular course, you would still want to kill yourself over some other minor occurrence in your life:
You don't get a high paying job
You are fired
You are never promoted
Your boss hates you
You suffer pay cuts
You blow a presentation in front of the boss
You are the most inefficient employee
You are the center of all the jokes at work
You never find a girlfriend or wife
Your girlfriend or wife leaves you
Your boss gives you a poor performance review
These are all worse than failing a college class, and whether you pass your course or not, one of these things will happen to you in the future. Your answer can't just be "I'm going to kill myself". Most people don't have a college degree but they don't kill themselves over it; then there are people with money, social respect, women, and they are deeply unhappy and kill themselves. Having a college degree doesn't equal a high paying job, not by a long shot, and money does not equal happiness.
P.S. I failed a college course too. It doesn't matter, nobody cares or will ever ask you about it.
Or you could find a nice trade that doesn't require college, but instead works through training and apprenticeships. Then you find a position in that field by taking an entry level position and after a few years you journey out and work hard at a good paying ($40/hr journey level) job, get married, buy a home, live a nice life, save at least 5% of your income every month and retire happy.
Contrary to what people will tell you, it is not necessary to have a university education to make a decent wage and live a great life. Many jobs in the trades, like electrical, welding, numerous medical technical jobs, plumbing, construction, etc, pay FAR MORE than minimum wage after just a few years in the field.
Even if you flunk a class, you can retake it next semester, right? You can get a tutor if you need it. You can change majors if this major is just not for you. It's really not the end of the world, UNLESS you make it the end of your world. Don't do anything this shockingly stupid.
I'm fine with people not having a college degree. I just don't accept it for myself, especially when it's what I've wanted for a long time (civil engineering).
Then you'll just have to work harder for that grade. Get a tutor, talk to the professor and find ways to make up for whatever you were deficient in. Perhaps take a step back and take more preparatory courses and then retake it. It is common for students to take more than 4 years to get their BS or BA, so don't freak out. You are more than a student. You are a person who is smart and a hard worker. Don't be a quitter, don't quit on life or your goals. A lot of people end up finding out after having their heart set on one thing for a long while that, despite their best efforts, this is just not a field that they have the aptitude for. That's okay too. You're just starting out and you have so many fantastic years ahead, joys that you can't even IMAGINE at this point.
You're too close to the situation now, but trust me, grades aren't everything. Once you get out into the working world, it's your skills and your work ethic that matter. No one will ever ask you what your SAT scores or your GPA were. No one cares.
No one.
I don't even think I had a 2.5 when I graduated yet I had two job offers from 2 great places (3M was one, I took the other) and I love my job and make a good salary too!
School isn't everything. It *seems* that way when you're young. But honestly, life doesn't end (and shouldn't end) based on how you did in college. You've lived approximately 25% of your life e.g., there is a LOT more left to come.
You will also find yourself in the future facing some obstacle that at the time, FEELS insurmountable. But it won't be.
You are valuable to this world! Your contribution does not have to be a high paying job (the ultimate goal of a college degree). People need you, and more than just your family. There is so much good you could do in this world!
If you feel worthless because of a college class, you should take a break from school and get yourself to a third world country to help others.
For what it is worth, I failed my favorite class in college. I took it again and loved every second of it.
OP, I can relate to what you're going through. I've failed many courses, I was academically dismissed from law school, and it did feel like the end of the world at the time. I was suicidal as well, but those feelings eventually subsided. The thing to do with an "F" is to not dwell on it, but to use it as motivation to work hard so you have to never have that feeling again. The truth is college is a time to screw up and learn from your mistakes. This one failure doesn't define who you are. It just seems like it because your whole life revolves around school. You should pursue other interests while getting an education and try to increase your self-esteem so your self-worth isn't related to your GPA. You're so much more than your grades.
I commend you for caring so much about your education, but as others have said, don't sweat one "F." You still have plenty of time to redeem yourself-not only in college, but more importantly in life. I know bad grades are hard to accept, but just use them as fuel for the future instead of letting it contribute to your demise.
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